I dont know where else to post this or seek help..

Okay, as disturbing as this story might sound, Ive already given up on life, ready to face any consequences even if it is not my fault. Here is the story.. I was 18 years old, turned 19 recently.. i met a girl which turned out to be a distant relative aka no dna connections.. anyway she had an abusive boyfriend, I wanted to free her from that so i went up to him and cleared it out and eventually confronted her to stop dating him (he used to tell her that he is sleeping with other girls and used to hit her, so on..) she was 13 at the time, after clearing this out i just wanted to go along with my life as obviously im not gonna date a 13 y/o when i was 17 y/o but she clinged to me, she kept pming me day by day, i tried ignoring, but considered it a friendship, she probably sees me as the person who saved her life, she then eventually confessed after 6month, i told her no, but i felt bad and i liked her so i said to myself whats the harm of going out and having a few bites or watching a movie, age isnt a restriction and we are a bit more than 4 years apart ill just wait for her to growup.. so i ended up agreeing, fastforward a year later she wanted to have some privacy with me and watch a movie together as we hold hands in a room... you all probably know where this is going now, but no. This is different.

I work 6 days a week and i study 6 days a week with no time for myself, I stayed awake for 2 days to arrange our meeting as i finished my shift at midnight and had to leave at 5am to meet her since she moved cities. Ive had snacks, food, card games, pure intentions. However I also had spare pants and boxers to take a shower as i have OCD and can not rest unless i take a shower, anyway.. a few hours later I passed out, i wokeup to her wearing my previous boxers and thrusting sexually into me while im asleep as im fully naked, I proceesed to continue thinking its a dream, I was not sure who it even was, by the time I realized it it was already too late, she said she used a condom and theres nothing to worry about.. i immediately pushed her, dressed up and left... and now she is 5days late to her period and is stressing me out.

I regret everything..