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Interview with an herbivore

MHRA_Leander

August 26, 2013

18 upvotes

/r/MensRights

http://www.avoiceformen.com/video/interview-with-an-herbivore/

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Post Information

Title	Interview with an herbivore
Author	MHRA_Leander
Upvotes	18
Comments	6
Date	August 26, 2013 1:25 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1l37wz/interview_with_an_herbivore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/interview-with-an-herbivore.1165464 https://theredarchive.com/post/1165464

Comments

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]burntoast101 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wgbuilding 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Tony_Harrison 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Quite an extreme view if you ask me but some parts of it definitely ring true.

I think the extremeness comes from the stark choice the vast majority of Japanese men have to make: become a salaryman or not. It's not like you can become a salaryman and then live a balanced lifestyle — you have to choose between giving up the vast majority of your waking life until retirement age in exchange for job security and marriage eligibility, or giving up job security and marriage eligibility in exchange for having time to actually have a meaningful personal life with hobbies and friends. This is not an exaggeration.

I think it's crap for both genders really, in different ways.

I really don't think so. As far as being a company employee goes, it's only good for male workaholics and it's only bad for women who want a full-on career.

The thing is, it is my honest opinion that the vast majority of Japanese women don't want to be salarymen. They want to live for a time as an OL (office lady) with little pressure or responsibility, with the freedom to spend their income as they please, having a fun lifestyle; when they want to settle down and have kids, they will want to marry and quit working —by that time, it's a genuine relief for them to be able to do so. Then they'll have the experience of raising their kids and afterward of spending the majority of their time on friends, hobbies, eating out and travel. No freedom?

[–]wgbuilding 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Tony_Harrison 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

...it seems to me that women are overprotected and suffocated in many ways. The Japanese dormitory used to have a cage around the girls elevator is strange example.

Japanese dormitories, whether at schools or at companies, have strict rules for both men and women. I know a man in his late fifties who was transferred to work at another prefecture's branch and has to live in the company's bachelor dormitory. He has to abide by a curfew and rules on who can can visit and for how long. Even his wife isn't allowed to stay overnight. He's going to have to live like that for years.

In fact, your example shows that by leaving structured organizations, whether school or work, women can gain more freedom rather than having less.

The situation is bad for women who want to be anything other than a wife or a waitress.

This isn't quite true. But before I address that, I would like to restate that my main point is that the vast majority do want to be a wife eventually. It is a more satisfying option than any other choice for the majority of them; raising kids is hard work, but immensely emotionally satisfying. Life after the kids leave home is one long holiday, apart from two or three hours of housework and cooking a day (if that).

It's true that the tiny minority of women who want a full-on career in a typical company have a very hard time overcoming the suspicion that they are likely to choose to leave to have kids (which for most female employees is the reality), but it is not impossible for them. If they want to become a professional (doctor, pharmacist, lawyer, etc) the door is wide open. Same if they gain a skill and start a business with it. As to the women who are stuck in part time/low-paying jobs, they are in the same boat with the men who don't want to/can't be salarymen.

It is stupid to romanticize being a salaryman; it is not an enviable life course that most Japanese women yearn for. It's also stupid to make marriage for Japanese women out to be a horrible thing — for most it's their passport to living just the life they want to (albeit with some possible negative tradeoffs, such as the wives of eldest sons having to take care of his elderly parents later on in life).