My wife and I sometimes bicker like all couples and she recently started using the term mental load. At first it was used to describe her feelings of angst due to life, her usage later evolved into angst caused about worrying about things the family needs get done that she feels no one else does.

Friendships, ensuring holiday plans are in place, setting up regular doctors check ups, ensuring balanced nutrition in the weekly shopping etc...

As any husband who loves his wife, I took her up on the offer of sharing the mental load as any self respecting man should ensure they are healthy and capable or managing thier family affairs.

However, since I begun "sharing" the mental load, she then gets angry if I do it my way, or not the way she wanted (typical happens in many many marriages) but more over I realise then number of things on the list to mind is now growing. The more I help/do the more things get added to the list.

This has made me begin to think that this is due to her constant subconscious of feeling inadequate in comparison to others and her drive to improve the family unit. This dynamic has helped propel our family in the past into better shape and is not something to just dismiss. But, can it be managed.

We are now doing Sunday family planning sessions to discuss what is on our plate and what is not, trying to manage the familial mental load and make sure we don't get in over our heads on the todos.

Its supply and demand. I think when feminist claim men don't help with women's mental load there is some fair complaint as I have seen many many men in my personal life happily take a back seat while the wife just thinks of everything (drinks and snacks for the kids on trips, check out activities to fo on the weekend, decide what to eat and cook etc..).

Women currently dictate the demand and provide supply, and thier demand exceeds supply so they are asking for us to step in. I think we should dictate the supply and provide/input on the demand. Let her know she is wants to much and calm down, we will get to it but later. But this could be a healthy compromise between the sexes on something that ultimately can lead us to win-win.

I am asking this sub for thoughts instead of a relationship sub for thoughts because everytime I have this discussion with women in my personal life they somehow take offense to the concept of the man dictating the supply, saying not this week but maybe in two weeks.

It isn't a men's right, but it's maybe something we can come to a potential compromise with feminists on.

Thoughts?