They were raised as girls and they're trying to be the men they know themselves to be....but they're feminists and feminists say men are the devil... so they are fucked. More crazy stuff ftm feminists say.....

Today a post about a very male typical experience which as feminists they have had absolutely no warning about and this is the gender profiling and stereotyping of men by women. I know almost every man out there has experienced this stuff and it doesn't get talked about much even here, because it's emotions and we have more concrete civil rights to talk about. But it's the fear reaction women give men, the same as black women complain about as racism when they get followed around the shop to make sure they don't steal a pair of jeans. But against men it's a far bigger scale and nobody talks about it except bigoted women or feminists demanding that men should subserviently walk 50 paces behind them on the sidewalk or whatever. As with all sexism against men it's invisible and everywhere and these ftm guys had no idea what hit them.

Im living with four women and we have known each other for years. We all have a very harmonic relationship, we hardly ever fight and are just incredibly respectful of each other's boundaries and feelings. I just love them to death, they are and have been a big part of my life and my personal development. But then I came out. Months ago I came out to them and to myself and asked them to use he/him pronouns for me and my new chosen name. They all respect that and it's wonderful. At some point in their lives all of them made some really bad experiences with men so they're just generally more distanced to men. Since then, one of them slowly distanced herself from me and kinda stopped talking to me and I had an argument with another one about a stupid joke I made. When I asked them separately about it, they both said they're not feeling safe around me and are kinda afraid of me. They also said it's more because of their perception of me being a dude than because of my actions or stuff I said. So it's basically not me, it's my gender. And man, it breaks my heart to see beautiful friendships break, people being intimidated by me, feeling unsafe around me and stuff like that. I mean I absolutely, ABSOLUTELY get it. I've lived 23 years as a woman, I've made pretty bad experiences with men and so I get it. I absolutely understand. But while I give them space to talk about it and be as careful and distanced as they want around me, I also need space to talk about my feelings without them feeling invalidated or anything.

Sorry, pal, but men don't get to have a safe space. Men don't get to talk about their feelings about women. They just kicked a few subs from Reddit that tried doing that. Life isn't fair to men. But at least you don't have to go down the path of self hatred. It's not you it's them. Your so-called "friends" are utter assholes. But you can't tell them that because they have women's privilege. Welcome to the club.

Some selected replies to the OP:

Women being wary of men, especially strangers, is rational

.

My mom did a similar thing when I started T. She kicked me out because id "be a man that could assult or rape her!"

.

They're not treating you like a person anymore, they're reacting to you like a concept based on their perceived and socialized ideas of men ... And yes, absolutely a lot of that toxicity exists in greater culture: you can talk about patriarchy, toxic masculinity, and sexism...[but] looks like your friends are suffering from some sexism informed and reinforced by negative experiences.

.

Not every man is an abusive monster and I'm sick of people pretending we are.

.

it is incredibly unfair that this has happened. honestly what has sorta helped me with similar feelings (about strangers suddenly being extremely uncomfortable with me, in my case) has been talking to cis guys about it - most cis men have been dealing with that for a long time and even if they don't have suggestions for coping with it, it can be nice to feel heard and understood and seen as a Person rather than a Threat y'know. they Get It

.

It's not healthy to be afraid of 1/2 of the population, they need to seek therapy.

blah blah warning stuff about not all rushing off to post on / brigade their sub blah blah.