Need advice....

takeyouraxeandhack · 2014-05-17T07:10:14+00:00

At some point in my life I considered suicide as well. My solution was: suicide or exile. I chose exile.

I moved 2000km away, where I knew nobody, and slept in crappy motel for a little while, found a crappy job in a matter of days, I sticked to that while I looked for a better job. Then I found a better job a little later, and moved to a better place. Everything started to improve ever since. I lived away from everything I knew for a few years and it really helped me. I had to build everything from scratch: It was not only a matter of finding a roof and food, I had to make new friends, make a new routine, have a new life. I took the chance to get rid of my bad habits and I even had the time to have a little love story.

I don't really know how to express my experience. I guess that what I'm trying to say here is that I learnt that I'm the only owner of my life, and I couldn't really appreciate that until I got rid of everything and built my life again doing only the things I only thought I deserved and wanted.

It wasn't a perfect life, of course, and I eventualy moved back to my home town. But never again I have considered the suicide and now I'm totally confident I am the master of my fate.

Don't give up, OP. You are still alive, and every life has countless oportunities.

My advice: To me, you seem to be quite depressed. I'm guessing here, but since you don't have a job yet, you might have some free time in your hands. If you do, start by working out and eating properly. It might be hard to start at the begining, but excercise does improve the chemical balance of the brain. It's a free anti-depressant and overall health improver.

If you don't have some already, find some hobby that is free or nearly free. It's purpose is to remember the things that life has to offer to you. There are lots of things out there that you would probably enjoy, but perhaps you don't know them yet. Finding motivation and simple pleasures in life is important.

And finally, if you don't have one already, use your time to develop a skill. Not something like juggling, something that might find you a job. For instance, a good friend of mine had some serious injury (long story, it doesn't matter) and was nearly incapacitated for almost a year. He really loves videogames, and back then there wasn't a related carreer he could study, so he spent all those months reading tutorials and programming. When he could walk again, he started looking for a job in the area. Eventually, he got a crappy programming job in a small video games company. Eight years later, he was a producer, and last thing I knew of him was from pics of him in the E3.

If you have interest or skill in something, find a way to capitalize it in a way that is useful to the job market and find yourself a job. It's the first step to your independence. It might not be a great job at the beginning, but if you stay motivated, you'll climb up. Just don't give up, OP.

Everything eventually gets better, OP. Keep your fists up.

TheWheatOne · 2014-05-17T06:25:10+00:00

http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/Education-Training/Finding-Jobs.shtml

Its a start. The most essential part is to is get income self-made. There a plenty of programs that can help with that. Its not perfect, but its better than being jobless and homeless. Search around for local help centers. Don't be discouraged, keep pushing and trying. I'm glad you asked for help. I think that is the first true step.

captaincmd · 2014-05-17T14:57:47+00:00

First of all, you need to find a solution for your mother. If it is a fulltime job to care for her, you need to try to find someone to take care for her, so that you can start your own life.

Stop calling yourself pathetic. That's what makes someone pathetic. You are 25! You can do whatever the hell you want, the hardest part is just getting started.

The second thing you'll need to do after finding someone to take care of your mother, is finding a job. If you don't have a drivers license, you'll need a job in the neighborhood. Don't be too picky. You'll need money to start your own life and it has to start with something. Maybe you'll need to take a bad job, but it'll just be temporary. Keep reading the newspaper etc to find better jobs/ stay in contact with the world!

Money will bring you more opportunities. Working will make you meet new people that will eventually help you to start 'living' again. It will give you the opportunity to make new friends etc.

Consider moving out AFTER you have accumulated enough money to take a repayable loan. And don't take a too expensive place. You want the place to be something that gives you the opportunity to build your life, not destroy it

good luck! The hardest part is making the decision to get started. But I'm sure you can do it.

:-)

ARedthorn · 2014-05-17T16:15:45+00:00

Simplest and best piece of advice I've ever heard: If you're miserable... change something.

Hell, change anything.

It's not as if you have anything to lose at this point.... and everything to gain. If it doesn't work... change something else... and keep doing it until you like what you've made yourself.

This is what being a self-made man (or woman) is about... why it used to be such a compliment.

And big props to u/takeyouraxeandhack... he's on the ball, entirely.

Nomenimion · 2014-05-17T15:10:37+00:00

Could you do some work on the internet?

DougDante · 2014-05-17T11:48:03+00:00

I'm so pathetic that it wouldn't even matter

You matter!

Does your mother physically or mentally abuse you?

Are you in the United States?

If so, you may be a victim of domestic violence who is eligible for services under VAWA.

Please see the FAQ.

If I were you, I would consider finding a church which will house the homeless, and just - leave for a day. That service is for you too. They will understand. A day becomes a week, becomes a lifetime.

You need to get out.

MRSPArchiver · 2014-05-17T06:00:58+00:00

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Title	Need advice....
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	May 17, 2014 6:00 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/25rvzc/need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/need-advice.1000578 https://theredarchive.com/post/1000578

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