So I saw this post on AITA and it actually quite annoyed me. I think it’s an example of subconscious missndry and social biases against men. In it, a man who is the sole provider is lambasted for not doing equal chores around the house. I think this reasoning is wrong, and I did a video on it
What bothered me about it was the thought that if the genders were reversed, people would have had a very different- if not polar opposite- reaction and response.
Basically, it’s an engaged couple, and the man is the sole earner. The woman is a full time nursing student, and does the majority of household chores. A situation arose where his lacking willingness to do chores became an issue. Now, I actually agree he should still be doing some degree of help, but as you’ll in the post, many commenters are attacking him for not doing 50% of chores, and recommended the chores he should be doing. I feel this is very unfair;
He is essentially providing for her entire life. She never has to worry about how she will afford to eat, or pay for rent, or anything else. So, I really don’t think it’s fair to ask him to do equal housework. Take her out of the equation, he has to do more chores for...literally just himself. Like I do as a person who lives alone. Take him out of the equation, however, and consider the difference- she starves and has to quit school.
Thanks to /u/garrison_road2 for bringing attention to the AITA post, and the post you did on unpopularopinion. I actually used some of your arguments in this video. I don’t totally agree that the sole worker should do zero chores (if that’s even your argument), but I generally agree with your sentiment and that most of the AITA posters are revealing subconscious gender bias against men.
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it’s not equal, because his was paying for her education. Not the other way around. She was only able to go to school full time because he was working.
Imagine yourself in his situation. You’d be agreeing with me, and you know it!
No, this doesn’t work. Because that presentation isn’t just “for him”, it’s for her too, it’s how her life is being paid for.
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Let me put it in a way I think you’re understand.
Imagine a badass woman who put herself through school, hit a great job, and has her own place. She pays for it herself, 100%.
She gets a new boyfriend. The new boyfriend has no job. He doesn’t work, and makes no money. He lives at this apartment, but doesn’t help pay for anything. Now, this woman has to pay double the water bill, double the groceries, etc. she pays for 100% of the boyfriends bills
Is it fair for her to split chores with him?
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Holy misandry fuck Batman...THIS IS LITERALLY MY FUCKING POINT. It’s like..it’s...oh, fuck me
Ok, so imagine he IS in school. Same thing, she pays for everything, but he’s in school.
So let me repeat myself from above, just so it’s clear. Same thing, but he’s in school. But she pays for EVERYTHING.
Is it fair for her to do chores?
So, so should a woman in an identical situation
This conversation right now is why I’m an MRA...it’s such a good example of sexism against men.
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Address the other point too. Say a woman living with a man. She’s not in school, not working. The man does all the work. You said above, when I presented this same scenario with the genders reversed:
If the genders flip in this scenario, do you feel the same way?
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