Guys, I need your advice. I’m stuck in a toxic marriage. I’ve been married for over 13 years and I have no feelings left for her. This is going to be a long story so if you can, please bear with me. Out of this marriage, we have two children. Ever since we’ve been married, I’m the only one that’s been working. I’ve been going to work, paying the bills, paying for pretty much everything that we need and comes our way. When I met her, she was going to school to become a teacher. She never ended up getting her because she maxed out as much money as she could borrow from the loans. But she can still get a job as a teacher assistant, but doesn’t want to do that. As a matter fact, she doesn’t want to work. When I met her, I told her I wanted a traditional marriage/family with both of us working. But then she tells me after we’re married that she wants to be in the tradition where the wife stays at home. I mean, there’s not much I can do at that point. At the very least she takes the kids to school and picks them up, but she always makes them late and she doesn’t care about time and she’s terrible with time management and could care less about time.

So I’ve been going to work, dealing with stress, dealing with people, paying the bills while providing for my children and her ungrateful self. She has some sort of a delusion that she does a lot of things for me in this marriage. Truth be told she doesn’t do anything. She refuses to clean the house, she cooks one meal a day and that’s dinner at about 8 or 9 PM when I’m getting ready to go to bed. She refuses to cook any earlier for me. She’s always making these comments that I’m cheap. I’m telling her I’m the only one that’s working and I have to try to save money. When she has money, she blows right through it. Imagine going to work and coming home to a house that looks as dirty as when you left it and coming home to a wife that makes you feel unwelcome in your own home and yes, I own my own home. I did not put her on the title, thank God I didn’t do that. We are no longer intimate as well. She has zero interest in doing that with me. I told her I may as well just go find a friend with benefit but either she doesn’t care or thinks I won’t go through with it.

She holds no accountability in life. She blames me for her life not being great and doesn’t hold us accountable for not doing anything with her life. She has a victim complex, try to twist things around pinning me as a bad guy. I’ll call her out on her BS when it comes to doing nothing though and then she calls me a bully. But she has an anger problem just as I do and for me in this marriage, I’ve gained nothing from her. She has not helped us at all. She’s gotten in my face several times and I told her not to do that. One time she was upset with me and threw a remote control directly at my face and it got physical. I told her just to leave my house take all her 20 animals with her and don’t come back. Yes, we have that many animals that she brought into the house that I didn’t want, but only a couple of them at the beginning. She tells me that if she leaves, she’s taking the kids with her to her parents house.

This is where I need your help and advice. I don’t know if she’ll ever go through with this because she’s been saying this for years so she’s going to leave and take the kids. She has no job and can’t even take care of herself. How is she going to take care of the kids? She tells me she’s going to try to take child support from me. But I’ve worked since day one to take care of my children and to pay all the bills and I own my own house, have a good job, have medical benefits, a pension, etc. she has zero. My question to you guys is in that very moment if she decides to try to take the kids from me is there anything I can do? Should I call the police in that moment and can they intervene? I have a boy and a girl. I know my son will stay with me by my side, but she’s brainwashed my daughter and I don’t know if she’s going to want to go with her or stay with me. I’m not going to let her take the kids to her parents house. What should I do in that moment where she decides to take the kids and leave my house to her parents house.

If it were to get that far to a divorce and who gets custody, do you guys think I have a shot at gaining custody of my kids? The only thing I can think of that she can use against me is that when she assaulted me I defended myself and I assaulted her back so she could try to twist things around and make it seem like she’s the victim when in fact, she was the one that attacked me first. I’ve tried to get us to go to a marriage counselor, but she refuses. She tries to twist things around and say that I have anger problems, I need psychological help, I’m a bully, etc. when in fact, the fact speak for themselves. She doesn’t have a job, she doesn’t want to work, she doesn’t clean the house, She doesn’t do anything for me, she makes all kinds of excuses, she twists around to try to make herself look like the victim, which she has a professional victim complex, she is out of touch with reality in this life, and she is straight up delusional, and I think she literally needs Psychiatric help and a life coach and that’s the reason why she doesn’t want to see a marriage constant because I think after listening to both sides, they would agree with me. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t love her anymore. I’m just living my life to take care of my kids at this point and I don’t want to lose them. Please tell me all guys I live in Chicago Illinois.