Here's what I think on this matter: I believe that women and men are equal. That means I do not believe that women should have a special privilege to be free from violence (but I recognize its existence anyway, I'm not stupid). Instead, I oppose all relationship and sexual violence regardless of gender.

In terms of self-defense, I ask whether the force used in self-defense was reasonably necessary under the circumstances to protect oneself from further harm. Genitalia is not relevant in this analysis. That said, given Ray Rice's massive size and strength advantage over his then-fiancee, who was unarmed, punching her out was not a reasonably necessary use of force. So, I agree with the NFL for suspending him, but I may not agree with part of their reasoning.

I just hope that the same moral outrage would have existed if it were Michael Sam who had punched out his (hypothetically) much smaller and much weaker male partner. Somehow I doubt it, though, because feminists are all too happy to have a state of inequality when it benefits women. This is sad because that male partner should have the exact same right to be free of violence as Janay Rice does.