About 10 years ago. I spoke with some male victims of rape by women. A few years later, I started talking about that on-line. I talked about how many victims had difficulty even recognizing their victimization because male rape by women was viewed as an aberration. If very few men got rape by women, then they believed that there must have been something wrong with them to not have been able to prevent their rape. They then due to lack of societal supports reclassify their rape as something else. Something not rape. That's why it's important to recognize the scale at which men are victims of rape and sexual violence.

I pointed out the incident with Katy Perry forcing a kiss on a male contestant as this occurring in microcosm and occurring in "real time". He didn't receive support as a #MeToo survivor and nothing meaningful happened to Perry. His friends realized how important his first kiss was to him so they convinced him that it wasn't his first kiss. It was a sexual assault that was something other than a sexual assault. For his won survival and well being, he reclassified his experience.

A few years back this was echoed to some extent by RAINN. That prompted even some feminists like Hannah Rosin to write about it. Now I look at what happened with Kavanaugh and at #MeToo and wonder if we're seeing the same thing in miniature. I responded to this article in feministing.

http://archive.is/r6aHg

Sorry, I didn't screen cap it and it wasn't approved, but it might not be the appropriate forum for discussion anyway as compassion for men and solving problems for women is less important to feminists than leveraging women's issues to gain political and social advantage for women.

My comment and thinking was this. If there is a divide between how men and women see #MeToo, sexual harassment, and "gray" rape maybe it's rooted in part by men's classifying their own experiences. There isn't a guy I've talked to that hasn't been groped by a woman at some point in their life. I and 2 friends I grew up with where talking about our first sexual experiences. I don't really know why I decided to tell the truth and not discuss my first consensual sexual experience, but I id. To my surprise, they had similar first experiences. That was 3 guys prior to 30 in a class of aout 30 people, about 15 boys, who had similar experiences. We also knew all the girls who were involved. We grew up with them as well.

Anyway if men and boys have been forcibly groped by women and girls and haven't been "ruined" like Blazey Ford, wouldn't that explain in part the reaction? I had known those guys for 30 years. I was in about the safest place I could be and my first impulse was to forget my first experience and move to the first one I wouldn't be ashamed of.