Hi everyone! I am new to this sub and really need some advice. I am 28 years old and live in North Carolina if that matters.

When I was 19 my girlfriend at the time became pregnant after we split up. After finding this out we tried to make things work and do the right thing. What I didnt know was just how abusive this girl was. Over the course of 4 years I had the police called on me I think 7 times total for "domestic disturbance". Basically we would fight, she wouldnt get her way, and then it was time for her to start hitting, screaming, breaking things, and eventually when I would stop trying to solve the situation and leave she would call the police to cover her ass and make sure that I didnt call first. After doing this for years we finally split. Good thing right? I thought so until I was arrested for domestic abuse, my son was kept from me for almost a year with no visitation, I was accused of molesting her daughter, being an alcoholic, drug addict, and even accused of beating our dog. In the end I came out ok on the legal end but the child support order that is set up is not working. I stopped visiting with my son after I lost my job and was homeless for 6 months and have never picked back up on visitations. I feel guilty everyday for this but even when I saw my son I couldnt do much for him besides be there. Im too broke to feed myself how am I supposed to feed him and me not to mention the fact we had to share a bed (and after the molestation accusations that didnt settle well with me.)

I pay 754 a month for one child I make 25000 a year and im supposed to carry insurance on him as well!?! I have been struggling with this since 2010 all of my relationships have crumbled under the stress and I dont know of anyway to make my situation any better. My fiancé is amazing and supportive. She doesnt threaten to leave or anything but in the back of my head there is always a count down to the day where she says this is enough. I am happy with her but I am bringing her down just like everyone before her and not a day goes by that I dont think about just packing my things and doing the right thing for her by leaving.

Is there anything I can do? No money for attorneys which I desperately need, no money for bills, no money period and im so sick of living this way. I feel discriminated by everyone. Am I dead beat dad? I tried! there isnt one thing in the world I wouldnt do to just be happy with my fiance and be a valid part of my sons life but I feel like I am fighting with such a handicap and I dont know anyway to make it better.