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When you literally cannot see men’s issues because of an exclusionary ideology

wumbo-inator

June 20, 2020

73 upvotes

/r/MensRights

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Title	When you literally cannot see men’s issues because of an exclusionary ideology
Author	wumbo-inator
Upvotes	73
Comments	15
Date	June 20, 2020 7:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/hcs68j/when_you_literally_cannot_see_mens_issues_because/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/when-you-literally-cannot-see-mens-issues-because.849372 https://theredarchive.com/post/849372

Comments

[–]Hannubal 22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]wumbo-inator[S] 13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Hannubal 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it's about finding a balance. A man has to possess a certain toughness, because he might someday be put into a situation where he will have to protect his woman. Plus, since there are abusive men out there who might exploit other men's weaknesses, you will want to make sure that you can protect yourself as well.

But what you describe is obviously too far. I think many men, in learning to build this toughness, use it as an excuse to flee from their emotions. They conflate discipline and masculinity with emotional repression, and that's when something akin to the term "Toxic Masculinity" arises.

You seem to be an empathetic person. If I were you I would work out and practice martial arts, if you don't already, because a lot of people will go out of their way to bully men who are sensitive. That's unfortunately the way things are. It's easier to ignore other people's accusations of effeminacy if you are comfortable in your own masculinity.

Sorry to hear that you have had to deal with this. As someone with a similar temperament, I can definitely concur that it's problematic.

[–]wumbo-inator[S] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Hannubal 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I do think we should protect people we love, but I don’t necessarily think that burden should fall on a guy more.

I agree with your sentiment. However, we men are naturally stronger than women. Our bone density is greater, our amount of red blood cells higher, and our ability to build muscle significantly superior. Because of this, a mans advantage in physical strength is quite large. Even if a woman has a more protective personality than her man, the chances that she could protect her partner from a violent man is close to zero - unless she is an abnormally strong woman.

Therefore, a certain burden does inevitably fall upon us men. Accepting this is part of being a man. Of course there are exceptions, such as men with certain diseases and disabilities.

To be fair, it falls upon anyone who has the strength to protect those who are helpless. It's just that we men are usually in a better position to do so due to our superior physical strength and muscle-building abilities.

I’m always cautious when using the term “masculinity” because I don’t want to make it sound like a man who isn’t masculine is less of a man. I’m not protective, assertive, or masculine to a large extent. And a woman who is, isn’t less of a woman.

Well, of course a man who isn't masculine is still technically a man. However, I think people will make the value judgement that a man is less of a man if he isn't masculine because generally a man has to be masculine. It's a natural part of our psyche. Our temperaments correlate with physical activity and discipline more so than women's do, in general.

I hope that this does not come off as an insult, because that is not my intention. But I think you might be doing yourself a disservice by not being assertive, protective or masculine in general. Be honest and ask yourself - would you feel better about yourself if you were capable of protecting those you love and more assertive in social interactions?

When it comes to assertion specifically, this is something that we all need. People will never respect someone who lacks assertion, and for good reason. I understand your worry not to engage in the same unhealthy attitude towards masculinity as those who have been unjust to you. This is a good thing. But do not let this desire become an impediment to you becoming the person you should be.

Like I don’t know if I should have to be protective because I’m a guy.

You should because you can. You are obviously a decent person, reading from what you write. You want to do the right thing. Now imagine that there are plenty of bad men out there, who will use their physical superiority to dominate women and weak men. Don't you have an obligation to exploit your superior muscle-building abilities to make yourself able to protect those who are helpless? Women can't protect themselves from these men. It's up to us virtuous men to stand in the way - but we can't do so if we don't discipline ourselves mentally and physically. It's therefore our obligation to do so.

It's unfair, but that's nature for you.

Idk... thoughts? You can also dm me if you want haha, I’m always down for a conversation

DM or here, it does not matter much to me where we have this conversation :)

[–]Little_Whippie 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GrandpaLeiho 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lion_amongst_gods 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]aussietoads 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[+]hfs12451 points 6 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Abortion is an ENTIRELY different matter

and yes it's good

[–]aussietoads 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[+]hfs12451 points 6 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

an early fetus doesnt even have a nervous system?????

its less alive then a chicken. i you wanna argue on the value of life you should consider going vegan so at peast your values are consistent

[–]aussietoads 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[+]hfs12451 points 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

alright well i dont running down the path of childish insults accomplishes anything. could you tell me instead why you think im wrong?

[–]aussietoads 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link