Women “doing the math”?

DavidByron2 · 2018-10-11T14:39:06+00:00

Yes it's straight up bigotry. As you say the EXACT OPPOSITE of how they say you ought o be with race,

cialdini · 2018-10-11T18:30:40+00:00

I would assume most girls are not explicitly told to do this but more that adults and media imply that men are threats (e.g., in TV shows, movies, or news, you usually see male kidnappers/villains, and materials that warn children of suspicious individuals usually portray men as threats). I would further assume that girls are taught to be careful more often than boys, since people tend to think girls are more vulnerable and are more targeted than boys are. I'm an adult woman who believes this situation is unfair and unequal, but I have a hard time getting rid of years of conditioning. For example, if I'm walking alone in a dark alley, noticing a young woman walking behind me doesn't trigger as much alarm as if I notice a young man walking behind me. Am I sexist? Sure, my automatic gut reaction is sexist. That's sad but it's true and probably true for many women. Is it right that I feel this way? Not at all. Should I conclude that men are threats generally? No. Even if someone might be trained to automatically feel threatened by a black person because of their culture and upbringing, they don't need to act on it or think that it's right to feel threatened by a black person. Gut reactions aren't truths.

Rockbottom503 · 2018-10-11T18:39:56+00:00

She’s just saying what fits her victimhood narrative at the time! Most little girls are taught that if a male so much as looks at you wrong, kick him in the bollocks and run as fast as you can to the nearest grown up who’ll kick their ass again! Meanwhile, boys are taught that you don’t hit girls in any circumstance and telling an adult will get you nowhere because girls aren’t violent - the conclusion, put up with whatever she does and stay silent.

PM_ME_YOUR_CALL_LOGS · 2018-10-12T00:49:47+00:00

They must be taking "ocular patdown" lessons from Mac.

Eastuss · 2018-10-12T08:56:08+00:00

I'm a male and I've always done that by default subconsciously, and I'm pretty sure we all do.

I'm a rather short man and I've been bullied. If you're tall I'll know you can beat the fuck out of me. And the fact is, black men are all towering me by a large margin, it's pretty natural to acknowledge that if he wants to beat me he can, and he will feel confident about overpowering me. It doesn't matter if I can fight and beat them, the issue is them being confident they can.

But those aren't the most important factors. If you display all the social codes for danger and aggression I'll pick them all up and judge you as dangerous and aggressive. A black man in a suit? pretty inoffensive to me. A man dressed as a thug, moving as a thug, talking like a thug? Threat alert, no matter the skin colour. It's as simple as that.

And racism can be born in the fact that the black people living in western country usually do try to display such social codes. So our brain did what we do best: finds links, relations, patterns. But I would say it isn't that much hard wired, it's a fragile heuristic.

If women can't do that sizing by default, it's just wrong and bad for them.

The__Tren__Train · 2018-10-11T19:29:28+00:00

That would make me a racist, right?

no, that would make you statistically aware.

genkernels · 2018-10-12T00:52:22+00:00

One of the women on the show said that women are taught from a young age that they need to be aware of their surroundings and that when they see a man, they need to size him up to assess the threat potential.

I’ve never heard this before, have any of you? And how is it acceptable? If I walk down the street and see a black guy, I don’t size him up to assess his risk. That would make me a racist, right?

Actually women not assessing risk in a reasonable fashion is the larger problem. That's how you get stories where someone's girlfriend almost gets them in serious trouble with a gang. Men do this sort of risk assessment too, and tend to be better at it. Now the key is reasonable risk assessment. One guy alone is likely not a reasonable threat unless it is a seriously sketchy part of town, even if he is clearly bigger and stronger than you.

So women should be doing this, and need to be doing this, not despite men not doing this, but rather because most people do this, including men, for good reason. It is just that some people are taught to do this in a way that is absolute nutso.

leftajar · 2018-10-12T01:21:55+00:00

If I walk down the street and see a black guy, I don’t size him up to assess his risk. That would make me a racist, right?

No, that's only "racist" if black men and non-black men have the same behavior, which they don't.

So why the hell are women doing this without anyone calling them out?

Because it's not sexist; it's pragmatic. The vast majority of perpetrators of assault against women are men, and it is possible to get a heads-up on violent intent via body language and proximity.

This is one of those things where theoretically, yeah, we should be able to treat everyone equally. But different groups act differently, so it's wise to take that into consideration.

Title	Women “doing the math”?
Author	Scottler
Upvotes	35
Comments	29
Date	October 11, 2018 2:22 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/9nae6r/women_doing_the_math/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/women-doing-the-math.892154 https://theredarchive.com/post/892154

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