Don't Take The Personality Pill.

leefjk · 2025-10-27T19:44:47+00:00

I actually would take this in a different direction. Most people have a personality. The reason someone's personality might not get to be fully expressed is when a girl won't let your jokes land because she sees you as ugly. Think about it. How many guys probably make jokes with their video game friends and are in general well-liked by them but still have problems with women? It's not a personality issue typically.

TankMurdoc · 2025-10-27T19:31:10+00:00

This only works if you have the looks to offset your lack of personality.

Being ugly with a shit personality is a one way ticket to being permanently alone.

krackedy · 2025-10-27T19:37:23+00:00

If your options are ugly and off-putting or ugly and likable I think the choice is obvious. Not everyone can just become attractive.

AnjoonaToona · 2025-10-27T21:08:15+00:00

Consider the job market - you need skills and experience to get a good job - but if a hiring manager is choosing between two people with comparable skills and experience, they will go for the one with the better personality because they have to work with them every day. I have gone out with plenty of attractive men but their personalities were garbage. It does matter if the woman is looking for a partner. If you are just trying to get laid, no.

Destinyciello · 2025-10-27T19:42:12+00:00

As someone said on a podcast once. "Women caring about personality doesn't necessarily mean they want someone with a good personality".

In other words. When they say "I am attracted to personality". They could very well mean "I am attracted to socially dominant arrogant bullies who are willing to insult people and use violence to demand respect".

But the real reason you shouldn't focus on personality is because. You're not going to change it anyway. A lot of it is innate. You're not going to turn yourself into a socially dominant bully. It's almost impossible if you're not wired that way from the get go.

What people often REALLY MEAN when they say focus on personality is. Work on your people skills. That is actually tremendous advice. You should definitely work on your people skills. You don't need to have very good people skills. But there's a big difference between having adequate people skills and being socially inept. Socially inept people really struggle in dating.

-Kalos · 2025-10-27T20:47:41+00:00

Personality gives you the means to connect with people and have some social success. Social success is a huge factor in what people (especially women) find attractive in a potential mate. Someone with charisma is going to attract people more than someone with a boring ass personality. We're a social species, someone who's hard to connect with isn't going to make many friends or attract many mates. Dave Chapelle is one charismatic mf, take that away and he's just a skinny, weird looking dude. His personality is doing some heavy lifting here

EugeneCezanne · 2025-10-27T20:51:29+00:00

I totally disagree, in large part because of what seems like a persistent misunderstanding of what "personality" means.

What I think, overall, is that what's most important to for a man to work on is simply whatever he most lacks. Looks may be the most important factor in generating dating opportunities, but it isn't necessarily Jacob's limiting factor. Moreover, most men have soft and hard caps for how much they can improve their looks. And unlike personality, you can quickly determine at a glance how much more work they can possibly put in before they get diminishing returns.

Dating Apps are the main way people date now. So no one is going to see your amazing personality.

Actually, pictures can reveal a lot about your personality: most importantly, your sensibilities and overall "vibe." Next to looks, vibe is the most important thing in dating.

Moreover, dating apps are brutal for most men. And most men aren't capable of getting hot enough to thrive on them before hitting their soft cap anyway. It is better for them to focus on IRL game.

If having a good personality actually worked we wouldn't be seeing a rise in cosmetic surgeries for men.

That does not logically follow. For one, we would have to assume that most of the men getting cosmetic surgery are even AWARE that having a good personality works. But as you're demonstrating, many men simply don't believe it. Second, we would have to assume most of the men getting cosmetic surgery HAVE good personalities, which we don't know at all.

We have seen multiple examples of serial killers like Richard Ramirez and Ted Bundy have literally thousands of women sending them fan mail because of how they look.

You just named two serial killers with notably good personalities. A good personality isn't necessarily a moral one. It's just a charismatic one. That's the thing so many of you don't get yet: it's not about good and bad; just fun and boring.

You're also totally missing a key aspect here. These men are famous and that has many beneficial effects. in this case, let's focus on just one: probability.

Let's say you take an undesirable man. Only 1% of women in the world would like him. But you make him so famous that 1 million women see him. That's 10,000 women who like him now.

Women, collectively, did not want Ted Bundy. But out of the 100 million who knew about him, you're bound to wind up with thousands of counter-examples.

Like we hear way more often from women saying "He was such a nice guy! I just didn't find him attractive."

That doesn't mean he had a good personality. You can be both "nice" and dull as a rock. All "he was a nice guy" actually means is that he didn't say or do anything particularly offensive.

But we rarely hear the inverse because women are more willing to compromise on a bad personality if he looks good.

I actually see this all the damn time in nightlife. I even have an aphorism for it: "That guy was hot until he opened his mouth."

Now it is true that sometimes, some women will overlook a bad personality for a hot enough guy. But the correlative is also true: sometimes, some women will overlook sub-par looks for a great personality. Men with great personalities (particularly as it applies to women's perceptions) are rare and, for women, super-fun and exciting to be around.

Bouldershoulders12 · 2025-10-27T20:22:39+00:00

Personality is the sprinkles or fudge or cherry on top. Looks are the actual ice cream

My_House_on_Mars · 2025-10-27T19:47:53+00:00

You should be working on your personality regardless. Learning yoga, pilates, becoming left, becoming a feminist, isn't "working on your personality" that's just performative and it will eventually backfire.

why everything is about sex lol

Like someone else said, it's a fantasy you guys have to be a able to treat women poorly and still getting laid.

ThatBitchA · 2025-10-27T21:53:09+00:00

It honestly sounds like most of you don't know what a relationship includes.

A relationship isn't sex 24/7/365.

Most of the time, the relationship is spent fully clothed and hanging out.

You need a quality personality for a relationship.

And even a decent personality for casual sex.

Routine-Present-3676 · 2025-10-27T19:34:03+00:00

Y'all are hilarious. By all means, go ahead and be ugly AND impossible to like.

Primary_Mechanic_565 · 2025-10-27T20:45:51+00:00

Being a bad person isnt the same as having a bad personality.

You can be charming and evil.

The "bad personality" people are talking about is being shy, awkward, passive, etc.

That being said, if youre using dating apps to meet women, your charisma means shit.

kmb218 · 2025-10-27T21:42:05+00:00

Personality includes things like approaching, flirting or being extroverted. All very relevant for dating.

These-Purpose-7019 · 2025-10-27T23:58:52+00:00

Just dont be boring, people would rather be friends with serial killers or bullies, cause they bring excitement even if its at a cost of some innocent

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-10-28T02:16:18+00:00

Personality doesn’t (initially) matter on dating apps, unless you’re one of those special people who can demonstrate that they’re a total unlikable a-hole in a couple pics and a few sentences. It matters later.
This proves looks matter (which I hope we all know), but doesn’t prove personality doesn’t.
This isn’t really a looks thing, it’s essentially a kink (hybristophilia) that a small minority of the population has. Of course people who are into that are going to favor the better looking serial killers over the butt ugly ones, but they like them FOR being serial killers, not in spite of it. And being a serial killer is definitely a dealbreaker for any normal individual, regardless of appearance.
It’s not as simple as a “bad” or “good” personality. There are some people who are far more likable in general than others, but it’s about compatibility and quite subjective. Someone can be perfectly nice and not click with you.
Yes, being more attractive gives you more options, obviously. As for “started being nice,” you’re already looking at it wrong. As I said above, “nice” doesn’t equate to necessarily liking someone. What being nice does is avoid turning away people who might have otherwise liked you.

In short, personality does matter at the individual level, but “good or bad personality” is an oversimplification. There are people almost everyone or almost no one likes, but otherwise, very subjective. We tend to like people who are like us in some way.

FaultySchematic · 2025-10-28T05:20:54+00:00

I’m not sure you are qualified to speak on the experience of being a man with a good personality

ThatBitchA · 2025-10-27T19:44:57+00:00

Personality should absolutely be at the top of the list.

Personality is what keeps attraction. Personality is attractive (or a turn off).

90% of the dudes who struggle in this sub do so because of their terrible personalities.

Hot-Law2682 · 2025-10-27T19:44:53+00:00

Personality is only irrelevant IF you can compensate for it by having insane good looks.

For most people personality matters:

Research has found personality matters in terms of sustaining relationships (wow big shocker):

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/382253515_A_Worldwide_Test_of_the_Predictive_Validity_of_Ideal_Partner_Preference_Matching

Correlated ratings of partner competence in a variety of skills and traits (honesty, sex, etc) to relationship satisfaction. Found the traits which correlated strongest to relationship satisfaction matched the traits the person rated as most important (stated preferences).

But personality also matters in terms of hookups and bodycounts, with sociosexuality having a higher correlation with sexual partners than physical attractiveness.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-07458-008

But good personality actually increases your attractiveness:

“Gross and Crofton presented a photograph of a (fictional) female student attached with verbal descriptions of her personality. Male and female participants gave higher physical attractiveness ratings under the condition of favorable descriptions (e.g., generous, friendly) than under the condition of unfavorable descriptions (selfish, unfriendly). Hassin and Trope adopted a similar procedure and found that descriptions of the kind personality of a male target increased his facial attractiveness rated by male and female participants.”

The study referenced:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10821193/

“Later studies further confirmed that the presentation of favorable personality information did increase attractiveness by comparing the attractiveness ratings before and after the personality information presentation. This “what is good is beautiful” effect was found irrespective of the level of pre-rated facial attractiveness.”

Studies referenced:

https://www.jstor.org/stable/3033549

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00172.x

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886914003626

growframe · 2025-10-27T20:17:55+00:00

Dating Apps are the main way people date now. So no one is going to see your amazing personality.

You still need to talk to and meet her to date.

If having a good personality actually worked we wouldn't be seeing a rise in cosmetic surgeries for men.

If everything men were already doing was the exact thing they needed to, there wouldn't be any men trying to improve their dating outcomes.

We have seen multiple examples of serial killers like Richard Ramirez and Ted Bundy have literally thousands of women sending them fan mail because of how they look.

Isn't Bundy frequently described as charming and charismatic?

A "bad personality" is usually looked over more often then not if the man is attractive. Like we hear way more often from women saying "He was such a nice guy! I just didn't find him attractive."

You will also hear that they didn't feel a spark. Looks can have a halo effect, but even a 10/10 will be held back if he's lame and boring.

I've never seen a man suddenly have a line of women wanting to fuck him because he started being nice.

Personality involves more than "being nice"

Solondthewookiee · 2025-10-27T19:35:13+00:00

It's always telling that the red pill fantasy is to be hot enough that they can treat women like shit and still get laid.

riceboykr · 2025-10-27T19:38:01+00:00

Looks/aesthetics and performative actions rule the realm of women. It's not for guys looking for a genuine connection. While it's novel to experience at first, shit gets old real quick. Makes you wonder who is raising these girls.

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Xiggyj · 2025-10-27T22:14:12+00:00

We all know looks get you in the door but personality keeps you in the house. Unless you don’t care about relationship retainment, yes, looks matter a great deal in getting attention from women.

84JPG · 2025-10-27T22:49:12+00:00

You should absolutely work in your personality, it’s just that the personality traits you should work on aren’t the same as the ones recommended by BluePillers and online feminist women.

wtknight · 2025-10-27T23:56:53+00:00

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Cheap_Connection_672 · 2025-10-28T01:46:30+00:00

I’m confused that anyone would agree w this? Unless you are top 10% or bottom 20% looks wise, most ppl fall into average. And from there you differentiate yourself by looking clean like you take good care of yourself and having a good personality. Countless times I’ve met someone that I wasn’t initially attracted to but their wit, kindness, quirks, or some other aspect of their personality made me start literally viewing them as physically hot. Personality 100% matters to women, anyone who disagrees does not fuck women or will not have a good sex life

Hi-Road · 2025-10-28T05:33:41+00:00

The importance of a good, healthy personality should supersede anything related to dating people tho. If some women/men don’t like you - and you have a legit amazing, beautiful personality and are happy, who cares. There will always be people who don’t like you. Try to surround yourself more with people who like you. Hard? Yes. But that’s the only way

Popeoath · 2025-10-28T06:58:45+00:00

The problem is that most guys just do not top out as physically attractive enough to only get women off of their looks alone.

The average guy has to have a sufficiently desirable, seductive personality to get laid.

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-10-28T07:33:18+00:00

Or go the multifaceted way by improving your various aspects. You would also need to pay attention to determine which aspects need to be improved and for which ones you just need to look for a different person. Like, if you like like a musoc genre, but the other person doesn't - maybe looking for a person who likes that same genre would be a better option than changing the genre you like.

QuantumPenguin89 · 2025-10-28T09:21:49+00:00

If "good personality" was enough then women would be sexually attracted to their male friends, because if they are friends then presumably their personality is good enough to want to spend time with them regularly. But being a good friend doesn't make someone sexually attractive.

On the other hand, the man a woman is attracted to is not necessarily, not always, more physically attractive than all of her platonic male friends. He may have personality traits that are considered attractive but don't necessarily have anything to do with his personality being "good". For instance, a man with Dark Triad traits. We shouldn't confuse good with sexually attractive or bad with sexually unattractive... It may also be the case that he has higher social status, which is considered attractive.

On dating apps, however, only looks really matter. If you as a man are not highly physically attractive in your photos, good luck getting anything out of these apps. Maybe you'll get lucky, like playing the lottery, but don't count on it.

Snoo71180 · 2025-10-28T09:51:36+00:00

This is accurate for Gen Z for sure, but unfortunately the filters, photoshopping, and basically catfishing that 90%+ of women use on their profiles vs 45% of men creates an uneven playing field. The vast majority of women on apps compete based on how well they can fake their appearance. That's not the case for most men and personality has nothing to do with it. If you're a person who has low enough self esteem to fake their pics (i.e. heavily filtered) and think that will go well when you actually meet then fake superficiality is running your dating life. That's a bad thing FYI.

By all means post the best version of yourself in any profile pics BUT don't be a complete fake (i.e. 90% of women on dating apps). There is also a VERY big difference between hooking up and legitimately "dating" and since the OP is talking about dating that's what I'm referring to here just to clarify.

In response to the OP's list of items here we go: on item #2 the rise in plastic surgery among women vs men is significantly higher in the US so if you're comparing the 2 then women outpace men for sure. That depends on what years you are measuring and in what country so I'd love to see a metric that shows male PS outpacing female. I mean the Kardashians are many women's idols and vision of perfection doesn't that tell us enough?

#3 The sexiest men on the planet would never go near women who find psychopathic serial killers sexy. Those women who do are mentally ill in a disturbing way which makes even the most attractive men in the world, who are sane, disgusted. Let's compare apples to apples not psychotic stalkers who are almost certainly unattractive to reasonably attractive women that reasonably attractive men would date.

#4 Women looking to hook up / get laid want the hot bad boy. That is not what the OP posted about because the topic is about "dating".....not getting laid or hooking up. Sane women who are looking to date someone long term do NOT want an abusive, narcissistic, psychopath with serial killer tendencies or other mental problems just because he's hot.

#5 Being hotter gives you more options to connect with women on apps, and likely meet them and hook up. However for a woman who has any common sense once she meets a guy who comes across as a psycho, or can't carry on a conversation because he doesn't know how to interact in a dating situation then they will not engage with that guy. Finally I have never in my life, nor has anyone I know, seen a line of women at any bar, club, party, event etc. wanting to fuck one attractive man in the hundreds of cities and over 30 countries I've traveled to. That's not reality but rather a description of a specific type of porn or something.

Even the most attractive man who has success on dating apps and gets laid a lot won't be with a woman for long if he's uneducated, unemployed, lacks intelligence, and has nothing to offer other than his appearance. Women will fuck that guy for a while but not "date" him long term.

SexCrispies · 2025-10-28T10:07:03+00:00

What is "success", what is a "good personality"? Why do you assume there is an optimal strategy that could be adopted by every man? If one thing is clear, than that optimal strategies vary based on your personality. The science on the topic even says, that personality is just an outgrowth of our mating strategies. Look at narcissists as an example: optimized short term mating success startegy. Fails horribly for long term. Now what is "success"? Do you want a long term or short term success? Do you think a narcissist can adopt a long term success personality?

Identify your personality and what mating strategy it corresponds to. Chatgpt is good at doing this for you, if you feed it enough information and psychometric tests. like REALLY amazing. Better than any dating coach you could hire.

Lean into your personality and mating strategy, and do not try to copy something that works for others for goals you might not even have. You want to be as successful for short term as a narcissist but also have long term stable relationships? Nope.

Your personality trait is high conscientiousness? You will not be a bad boy. But you will be able to have stable long term relationships and possibly be a good father.

to your points:

Don't use dating apps if you cannot create a profile that is competitive. Attractiveness determines the attractiveness of your potential partners. Personality determines the kind of relationship you have with them.
Cosmetic surgeries increase the level of attractiveness you can get in a partner, not if you can get a partner. Attractiveness does not predict if a man is single or not
It's not because how they look. Hybristophilia is about something else. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybristophilia
nice guys are not attractive because of their personality. You can have beautiful nice guys and ugly nice guys. Both do not make women attracted to them.
being more attractive limits your options in dating, if you want someone who is as attractive as you are. You have the most options when you are averagr attractive, because most people are average attractive. In relative terms, it doesn't matter. If you want to date down, then yes, you have more options. But why would you do that?

If you want to make sudden improvements like "having a line of women who want to fuck you", this wont be possible by "becoming more attractive". You are not that flexible in how attractive you can be. But you achieve that by becoming high status in a subpopulation. Like being a DJ or barkeeper. Predictive of high status in a social group is: confidence, extraversion, dominance, assertiveness, stoicism, generousness, fairness, competence, etc. Attractiveness does little, besides determining how attractive your peer group is.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-10-28T10:20:25+00:00

No they fucking aren't lol. Most people to this day make connections either in person or on forums related to their hobby. Dating apps are know to be scams and 90% of the time only used for hookups. Just becouse it's your primary way of looking for women doesn't mean that this is how most people meer each other, it's insane that you think that.
We see a general rise of cosmetic surgeries becouse they have become more accessible and affordable than what they were before. Also, a lot of famous people shill cosmetic surgeries now. You also base off your opinion from the assumtion that the only reason why anyone would want these surgeries is to attract more people, which is single-minded at best. If I went bald or lost front teeth I would get them fixed as soon as I am able to becouse I want to feel good in my own skin, I couldn't give less fucks about how attractive those traits are percieved by others.
As if the exact same thing wasn't true for men. People simped for the japanese killer, Yuka Takaoka and literally called her a yandere becouse she was hot. You don't see people lining up for Ed Gein or Aileen Wournos. This isn't the gotcha you think it is.
No shit, becouse "he's such a piece of shit but he's hot so I let him hit" has a very different set of implications than "he's nice but I'm not into him". People don't want to be seen as shallow. They also don't conduct a job interview and a background check when they are only taking someone for a one night stand, they will go with the person they feel the most fun around. As women have also said it, a ons is very different from a long term thing.
Lmao, tell that to women. An abundance of options does not mean that you get more valuable choices AT ALL. You can have 100 people in your DMs and there is a real chance that not one of them would be a decent partner let alone a good one. Hell, most of them would dip after they hit it. You are ignorant to the sheer amount of creeps that consider sending an unsolicited dick pick as a passable form of courting.

Personality isn't a cope, but when people say personality they usually mean charisma. Which is a learnable skill that does a lot of heavy lifting for a bunch of sexually and / or romantically successful ugly dudes. Any man with a level of romantic success and social life can see that. I think "personality is a cope" is cope for people with boring ass personalities, negative charisma and 0 game. It's the excuse that they need to not even try to be a better version of themselves. It's sad but it is what it is.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-10-27T19:55:11+00:00

Yeah, when we talk about personality we mean do you go to church, because bad people don't go to church....sure. How about charisma, social skills, and i don't know become pleasant to be around? No, that's too much.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-10-27T19:58:32+00:00

i dont think a no personality is the same as a good personality

Far_Secret_2710 · 2025-10-27T20:18:25+00:00

I’d rate myself a 7 or 8 visually, have nearly always been the most attractive in my friend groups, but I only get 1-2 matches/week on pics alone. I don’t think looks do much past your mid-twenties. Hoe Math talks about this.

The highest-converting bio I ever used just said that I make six figures and have a triple-figure body count. Of course, it helps if these are true, but it was like rain in a desert with a match nearly every day, several of which DM’d first, with several potential dates per weekend.

I wish it weren’t true, believe me, but money/status + previous success (w girls) trumps looks in most cases.

anewleaf1234 · 2025-10-28T05:38:03+00:00

You need to have personality to successfully date.

And you can meet people in real life.

Being nice isn't a personality. Being social and witty and up to adventures and a great person to date, is.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-10-27T19:48:03+00:00

I'm not sure about what personality pill means. If it is about to trying to collect Good Boy points and try to assume and emulate everything people consider laudable then yeah, I think that fails.

But if by Personality Pill you mean to foster originality, I could see that working. Not in online dating probably though.

If you're a menacing looking dude, look like a biker, but it turns out you work in a kindergarten. Then you're instantly the most interesting person in the room.

If you look like an absolute slob in cargo pants but is a secret intellectual who has read all of the classics, that makes you more interesting than someone who just looks the part and presents like a literary dude.

Create contradictions. Confuse and surprise people. Break through the noise.

jadzia_d4x · 2025-10-27T20:07:44+00:00

Point by point:

1. Dating Apps are the main way people date now. So no one is going to see your amazing personality. Even if you wrote in your bio you saved a box of kittens from a church fire. You're gonna get swiped left on immediately if you don't look good and your bio will never be read.

This one isn't too bad, but leaves out other options. Yes, dating apps might be the main way people date, but that doesn't mean it's the only way. If the goal is to help men who don't meet conventional standards of physical attraction to get laid/get dates/find a relationship then I think you have to consider other options outside of dating apps. We can accept that these men are already struggling with being outside of the mainstream, so why shouldn't they focus on other ways of meeting women that don't center on quick judgements on physical attractiveness?

2. If having a good personality actually worked we wouldn't be seeing a rise in cosmetic surgeries for men.

I think you need more data here to support this conclusion. Who are these men getting cosmetic surgeries and what do we know about their motivations? Do we know they had good personalities to begin with? Do these surgeries bring them success in dating?

3. We have seen multiple examples of serial killers like Richard Ramirez and Ted Bundy have literally thousands of women sending them fan mail because of how they look. So they'll take someone who kills women over a man with a good personality it seems.

Women don't get obsessed with serial killers because they are physically hot. They are fascinated with the forbidden "danger" of interacting with someone like that. Further, the very personality disorders that are associated with serial killers very often are associated with high levels of charisma and ability to charm. This is significant because I think you've conflated "being nice" with "having a good personality". You can have a bad or boring personality and do "good" things. Being interesting goes beyond that. And of course, no mentally healthy woman is legitimately considering dating a serial killer.

4. A "bad personality" is usually looked over more often then not if the man is attractive. Like we hear way more often from women saying "He was such a nice guy! I just didn't find him attractive." But we rarely hear the inverse because women are more willing to compromise on a bad personality if he looks good.

Again, conflating being a "nice guy" with having an actual good personality. When someone says "I didn't find him attractive" they could be referring to many characteristics that aren't purely physical attraction. Plenty of nice guys are boring or don't seem to have much going on in their lives and these things heavily contribute to attraction.

5. Being more attractive gives you more options in dating. And the more options you have the more successful you'll be in getting what you want. Having a good personality doesn't even come close to expanding your dating options in the same way. I've never seen a man suddenly have a line of women wanting to fuck him because he started being nice.

Again, being nice != Having a good personality. Having a good personality is not something that happens suddenly because you did something nice. Personality is discovered over time.

It is true that being more attractive gives you more options and I don't think that's controversial. But if you aren't attractive, then why not work on the thing that you can change and will also benefit you personally outside of dating?

I guess I just don't see what the proposed solution is. What are you gonna do, get a new face? It just doesn't seem practical or helpful.

tritter211 · 2025-10-28T09:43:23+00:00

Dating apps used to be the major way people meet, yes. But... in recent times, men and women are slowly ditching the dating apps now. As evidenced by the declining stock prices of these apps.
Cosmetic surgeries are rising in men because of various reasons. Reasons such as de-stigmatization of surgeries for men, and the obsession to remain young looking despite age. Most male social media influencers, sportsepeople all did cosmetic procedures and surgeries and treatments. Look around you. Everyone is obsessed with looking young and its not only men. Women are engaging in cosmetic procedures at worse rates and at much younger ages...
This is just "women are wonderful" effect except opposite. I should call it, "women are awful" effect. Those two names are world's most infamous serial killers, and out of hundreds of millions of women he got like a few thousand letters from women. This doesn't prove anything. If anything it proves there are a certain subsection of mentally ill women who who have a fetish for liking criminals. And seeing their tiktok or instagram posts doesn't mean all women like criminals. Looks like those influencers have successfully... influenced you.
"nice guy" trope exists because these socially clueless men substitute being nice for having a personality. Usually being nice works when you start being nice ON TOP OF having a interesting persona. For example, knowing how to have engaging conversations or be a good listener, being playful, know how to make surface level basic jokes, know when to do push/pull, not being needy/pushy, ability to say no at the right time, etc
Looks do matter, but if you don't have looks, why fret about it and focus on stuff that you can control? Go to any place with huge crowd and observe all the couples around you. Does ALL of them have model tier looks? Having good looks only helps with the first impression... But to retain that relationship for the long term, you have to have better personality traits.

Your diatribe against personality essentially comes across as sore loser jealousy against beautiful looking people. This is not something that redpill or purple pill can solve for you.

weenieandthebutt · 2025-10-28T00:41:32+00:00

If you're a likeable person who gets on with most people but unable to attract women beyond fatties and lower tier girls, can't we just agree the problem isn't personality.

wayna00 · 2025-10-27T19:45:16+00:00

why are men in this sub just realizing looks do matter in dating ? men want beautiful women themselves.. like what?

Hilary_Clitoris · 2025-10-28T00:54:07+00:00

Everything you said is 100% correct but it applies to women as well. Men love to say that they have walked out on a date because the girl was rude to the waiter. Things that never happened! A woman with a nasty personality will have men drooling over her if she is hot. Hell, she can even have personality disorders. A good personality is secondary to looks.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2025-10-28T03:13:09+00:00

Rules 1 and 2. If you can’t maximize rule 1, you better maximize rule 2

ReformedPoster24 · 2025-10-28T05:48:49+00:00

We already know this due to people rating attractive people as having better personalities, without anything else being known about them.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-10-28T02:33:33+00:00

If you haven’t got looks or money, which is most guys, you’d better not offend women

Title	Don't Take The Personality Pill.
Author	CuckCake321
Upvotes	46
Comments	290
Date	October 27, 2025 7:29 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ohnzhc/dont_take_the_personality_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dont-take-the-personality-pill.1565159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565159

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