Crosspost "How do you flirt on first date without coming off as trying too hard?" from /r/datingoverthirty:

I (33M) had three different dates recently that didn't go anywhere. The sort of date after text I got while trying to plan the second date is that they had a friendship vibe which at first I thought is something you'd say if you're just not interested in that person but then also got me thinking if there's some truth to that since they all said that

Generally on first date when we meet - I usually get in a mode where I'm actively listening and asking open ended questions that are not controversial and also try not to talk about work for either of us. I also like to complement her on her looks when the drinks come in - I'd go something like, finally made it through the week/project/covid - cheers to that. Also you look great by the way. Usually that's received with thanks or sometimes even you do too

I choose bar seats because it feels a bit more intimate and deliberately try to maintain a soft eye contact - not something that I naturally do with people. I'd laugh if she says something funny and pile on it with something that's in agreement while trying to gently hold my own. The goal here is not to come off as a people pleaser or a pushover so it's somewhere in between there if that makes sense

Other than that though it's mostly getting to know them and not talk too much about myself voluntarily. So I was curious if there's something weird about this routine that I'm doing that could be just friendly vibes or if anyone has any success stories of what they do that usually works?

Thanks for reading this through

Posted by c0nf | 26 June 2022 | Link