~ archived since 2018 ~

On self improvement...

changeIsTheWay · 2017-10-04T22:39:03+00:00

Hard work will almost always make you more attractive, but it may not be enough - like a failing student going from low 40s to high 50s when 70 is the minimum...

changeIsTheWay

October 4, 2017

1 upvotes

/r/PurplePillDebate

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Post Information

Title	On self improvement...
Author	changeIsTheWay
Upvotes	1
Comments	80
Date	October 4, 2017 10:39 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/74bsfy/on_self_improvement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/on-self-improvement.265619 https://theredarchive.com/post/265619

Comments

[–]TheBlackQuillMisanthrope2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]changeIsTheWay 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBlackQuillMisanthrope0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]changeIsTheWay 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]changeIsTheWay 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeilCuckleberry Finn0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

Just ejaculating once in the vagina at the right place and time doesn't mean that you're going to have an enjoyable love life etc.

Right, and that's why you need to aspire to be the type of person that you want to be. If you want to be someone that has an enjoyable love life, then become that version of yourself that is capable of having, and giving, an enjoyable love life. Do you see how that works? You can't just expect someone to come in and make your love life enjoyable for you. You need to be capable of giving it to them, as they are capable of (and willing to) giving it to you.

Your attitude should be "I have this thing to give to a woman, and I'm also looking for a woman who has this same thing to give to me, as well. Are you that woman?" If they're not that woman, keep looking until you find her, but DON'T LOSE THAT THING. If you lose the ability to give someone the kind of love life you want to have, don't expect someone to want to give it to you, since you're not able to give it in return.

[–]changeIsTheWay 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeilCuckleberry Finn0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]changeIsTheWay 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeilCuckleberry Finn0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

If you're talking about women, that should be obvious as to why. If you're talking about other guys, again, you can't just expect to be given the same treatment as everyone else does. You seem to be unhappy to be who you are, which is probably going to be where most of your problem lies. You need to be happy and satisfied with yourself, as I already said. You need to be able to show people that you have something to offer, and you're looking for a certain kind of something in return. The majority of people that will come to you once they see that you have this, are probably going to be like you: they want it, but they likely can't give it to you because they don't have it (yet).

Would it make you feel better if women were throwing themselves at you, but you were still unhappy because everyone just wanted you for what you had to offer? You'd be okay with the possibility of being used by other people, while they offer little if anything to you in return? I know I wouldn't.

[–]changeIsTheWay 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]changeIsTheWay1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

One of his Tinder matches became a gf when he decided he wanted a relationship...

Have you questioned why, or are you just assuming that it's because he's so hot? Is there something he's doing that you're not doing? Does he just have that attitude when dealing with women? Women don't know who you are until they know you, and part of them getting to know you is you talking to them. If you're saying that women don't want to talk to you, I'm not sure. That might be wrong, or it might just be that you're not doing things the right way. How often do you look at yourself and examine what it is that you're doing? Do you have any female friends (or any friends) that could give you feedback on how you act around people, and your behaviors? I guarantee you that looks aren't everything.

Edit: Just from listening to your attitude and the way you talk, I can tell that you won't be getting many women to like you.

No but he's able to enjoy what he wants. He CHOOSES that.

So you're saying that he chooses that, but you aren't choosing what it is that you're enjoying or not enjoying? Why should it be any different for you?

[–]changeIsTheWay1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Have you questioned why, or are you just assuming that it's because he's so hot? Is there something he's doing that you're not doing? Does he just have that attitude when dealing with women? Women don't know who you are until they know you, and part of them getting to know you is you talking to them. If you're saying that women don't want to talk to you, I'm not sure. That might be wrong, or it might just be that you're not doing things the right way. How often do you look at yourself and examine what it is that you're doing? Do you have any female friends (or any friends) that could give you feedback on how you act around people, and your behaviors? I guarantee you that looks aren't everything.

Edit: Just from listening to your attitude and the way you talk, I can tell that you won't be getting many women to like you.

No its because he's hot. He has opportunities and chances.

So you're saying that he chooses that, but you aren't choosing what it is that you're enjoying or not enjoying? Why should it be any different for you?

No I don't have that option. It wasn't something I chose. Hence why I'm incel.

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No its because he's hot. He has opportunities and chances.

So, he's given opportunities and chances by other women. Why can't you give opportunities and chances to women?

No I don't have that option. It wasn't something I chose.

If you're not choosing it, then neither is he, but if he is, then so are you. You're basically claiming that women decide what happens with men, but that isn't true, and if you put yourself in the position to give options, you wouldn't be saying that you don't have any. He's giving them options just the same as they are giving him options.

Hence why I'm incel.

Sure, if you let other people decide your life for you, you'll never be anywhere or get anything that you want. You need to decide to make your life into the life you want, because other people are only going to use you to get what they want.

Did you ever play sports in school? Look at it this way: you can either work on yourself to get a spot on the team and be out in the field, or you can watch from the bleachers because you let everyone decide for you that you weren't good enough to be out on the field.

You have the choice to be where you want to be in life. You just might have to work for it.

[–]changeIsTheWay1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So, he's given opportunities and chances by other women. Why can't you give opportunities and chances to women?

Oh I will. But they won't to me.

If you're not choosing it, then neither is he, but if he is, then so are you. You're basically claiming that women decide what happens with men, but that isn't true, and if you put yourself in the position to give options, you wouldn't be saying that you don't have any. He's giving them options just the same as they are giving him options.

Those who are dateable are choosers.

Sure, if you let other people decide your life for you, you'll never be anywhere or get anything that you want. You need to decide to make your life into the life you want, because other people are only going to use you to get what they want.

Yeah, because I can choose to force someone to want to date me?

Did you ever play sports in school? Look at it this way: you can either work on yourself to get a spot on the team and be out in the field, or you can watch from the bleachers because you let everyone decide for you that you weren't good enough to be out on the field.

Right, because its the exact same. /s

Hell I couldn't even succeed in all sports. Especially basketball. Its not about effort. Some things such as this are about genetics.

You have the choice to be where you want to be in life. You just might have to work for it.

You can't work for everything. Most things are genetically determined. I made my original post. Did you even read?

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Oh I will. But they won't to me.

All of them? Not even one? So how many have you tried that have said no out of the hundreds of millions of women on this planet? 50%? 25%?

Those who are dateable are choosers.

Great. Now that you've realized that, work on becoming dateable, since you believe that you aren't.

Yeah, because I can choose to force someone to want to date me?

No, but you can choose to be a person that people will like and want to date.

Right, because its the exact same. /s

It basically is. You practice. You work out. You learn the moves. You study the game. You study other players and learn from them. You ask a "coach"(close, trusted friend) for tips or advice on your performance. If you really want it that bad, hire a "personal trainer" to help you (there are such things as dating coaches, you know).

Hell I couldn't even succeed in all sports. Especially basketball. Its not about effort. Some things such as this are about genetics.

And your genetics contribute to particular things. Start doing those things or start finding out what those things are and do them and maaaaybeeeee they'll help you get some attention from women. Women like to be impressed, so start being impressive.

Here's a little factoid for you: Before Usain Bolt became the world record holder on the Olympic 100m dash, the previous record holder was a short guy. Usain Bolt has an advantage being taller, sure, and that may have been what provided him with just the edge to beat the short guy, but the point is that a short guy is able to run that fast in the first place.

So, what I'm saying to you is that you've gotta find your niche if you want to be good. You can't just waltz in and expect a gold medal.

You can't work for everything. Most things are genetically determined.

Yes, you can work for everything. Things being "genetically determined" hasn't stopped millions of years of species from continuing to work harder and adapt to be successful.

I made my original post. Did you even read it?

You mean the one that I was commenting on the last time?

[–]changeIsTheWay1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]changeIsTheWay 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]rulenumber3030 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

That's not strictly true. Women's attraction in the medium term is narrative as well as visual. So all the guys who fail to make the grade for instant physical attraction but also fail to evoke disgust are still possibles for a woman to suddenly find herself with a story in mind starring them. High 50s in a guy who knows how not to be 'spergily weird in how he makes advances is good enough to not evoke disgust in the majority of women. If a man knows quite a few such women then his chances of lucking into a one night stand or a relationship have been substantially improved.

Also there's a big difference between low 40s and high 50s in how you're going to get treated in a range of social contexts that have nothing directly to do with sex or love.

But hey, give up trying if you want. I can understand that it is a lot of work and nobody likes to imagine trying real hard and then not getting exactly what they want. Easier just to stop, right?

[–]changeIsTheWay 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

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