Egotistical, I know, but I started a friends with benefits/open relationship situation where I gave a woman her first orgasms from penetration and multiple orgasms.

She was in a long term relationship that spanned nearly 6 years of being monogamous since Highschool & when she got to me, I determined to open her up to a new world sexually & opened up Pandora’s box for her, sexually.

At 7.5”, I wasn’t the biggest, but the biggest she had that she enjoyed.

At first, she was satisfied with just dealing with me and I would teach her things, sexually, and those things I taught helped, but as I taught her things, inevitably, she got more curious and about what I was teaching her about flirting and started getting into new situations, but I still had things to teach her that she appreciated; however, I understood that a big basis of my influence was based in the fact that I brought her a new level of sexual pleasure she wasn’t accustomed to.

The other day, the day after we had sex, she had an encounter with a man from her job who was very well-endowed and they did 4 rounds over 5-6 hours. At first, she maintained that she preferred me sexually, but couldn’t say why. She eventually came to saying it was because of my aggression, the variety, and because I give her multiple orgasms, but after digging a little deeper into it, he gave her her singular orgasm (there were multiple, but not back to back and i’m in second place on the singular orgasm) & her best ego sexual experience (him begging during sex), so while she stated she still preferred me sexually, those are the things that mattered to me more. When I asked if she preferred the really strong orgasm to the multiples and she said she preferred the one strong one.

If we were just fuck buddies or if she had better experiences ahead of time, I would have processed it to an extent before getting too involved, but since it was during our 5 month situation, I feel that it puts me in a position to either compete (where I may not be able to because of the size and shape) or may lose my motivation to sleep with her (because it is ego-based), or withdraw sexually and only have sex for my pleasure which really isn’t my thing.

She appreciates that I opened her up to this new world, but I don’t want to play second fiddle when I used to be the first chair.

So, I’ll give it some time and see if I can outdo that experience, and if not, I’m cutting her off because I don’t want to be in a primarily sexual situation or relationship if I don’t feel sexually preferred or if there is no way of bridging the gap due to things I can’t change or be the guy a woman prefers emotionally, but not sexually.

For me, FWB does not mean no commitment & open doesn’t mean anything goes. I just believe in basing relationships in sexual preferences before going into them, so I start with FWB & see if a woman can be satisfied with me for a while & add that into the equation ahead of time instead of possibly getting emotionally attached without the sexual preference and then being there out of love or obligation.