Hi all!

After some conversation among the mod team, as this sub has grown a lot since the flair system was initially employed, we decided it best to switch to mod-assigned flair.

Why?

  1. Some users were assigning inappropriate or intentionally misleading flair to themselves.

  2. The old format was more designed to answer the question: "Who are you?" We've decided it's more useful if flair answers the question: "Can I trust you?" While advantageous on a relational level, the previous flair system didn't turn out to be conveying useful information to ascertain a person's reliability on relational, sexual, or theological matters. As a result, people may have been unintentionally misled into believing someone's advice was reliable simply because they had a long-term marriage, or because they were also living the single life as a Christian. A proven track record matters more to us than demographics.

  3. Mod-assigned flair gives us the opportunity to honor and endorse contributors who have a proven track record showing not only the degree of their investment in this sub, but also the reliability of the advice they give and the way they attempt to practice it. It also gives us the ability to provide a cautionary note for those who have a track record for being untrustworthy or who have acknowledged they follow a different system of beliefs.

  4. Newcomers need a quick system of discerning which posters and commenters can be relied up for representing this sub's views. While we have incredible tolerance for what gets posted here, many newcomers have been led away by the fact that they believed a random poster was representative of this sub's views, despite the fact that all of the mods (and more) rallied against the content. An endorsement system can clear this up for newcomers very quickly.

  5. Because some of the flair can add personality and life to a conversation, and - especially for those with positive endorsement - should have the intended effect of compelling them to live up to the endorsement, rather than trying to fake their way into sounding smart in an online impersonal world.

What endorsement DOES NOT mean?

First: Being endorsed does not mean they always have the right answer. No one is perfect. Just because someone is endorsed doesn't mean they won't ever make mistakes. We're all sinners. We're all still learners. You will not be able to argue to God someday, "But that guy was endorsed, so I followed his advice!" No. Read Acts 17:11 - they didn't even trust Paul, the most "endorsed" of all believers of that time, whose words even Peter was calling Scripture before it was canonized as Scripture.

Second: It doesn't mean that all other endorsed people will think the same way. We all disagree. I have strong disagreements with every single person on the mod team, ranging from theological positions to relationship advice. I'm okay with that. Just because one endorsed person says something doesn't mean the mods agree either, or even that we agree among ourselves. Don't impute one person's words to another person's views. Our differences give us perspective, and will not make us weak so long as we maintain unity through them rather than being broken apart because of them.

Third: It doesn't mean that they're getting special treatment or friends with the mods. We don't play favorites. I have turned down personal friends and long-time reddit buddies for mod positions, and have also declined to endorse them today, after updating our flair system. I don't like saying no to my friends, but I don't feel bad about it either. Either you have the track record or you don't. There are no favorites here - and you must answer to all of the mods and not just me.

What endorsement DOES mean.

First: It means that you have proven your commitment to this sub. There are some people who are reliable who have sought higher positions on RPC. Interestingly, none of the mods have ever sought this position - and even u/RedPillWonder turned down the position for months before I was able to persuade him to join us. The reason he turned it down? Because he wasn't in a position to commit. The reason I've turned some of the seekers down? Because they haven't shown a consistent investment in the people of this community.

Second: It means that their advice is, on the whole, reliable. Nobody is perfect, but some people are generally more reliable than others. If you're asking a question and want to know which answers to trust, go with the endorsed contributor first before trusting the random Joe Schmo.

Third: It means that the mod finds their contributions both (a) Scripturally sound and (b) relationally/sexually wise. There are many people who are wonderful theologians and can discuss Scripture eloquently. I would have loved to endorse such people. But I can't do that if they haven't proven their ability to be wise in their relationships. There are other people who are relationally and sexually at the top of their game, but who lack the biblical understanding to back it up. Neither of these types of people are endorsed. Endorsed people are those who we believe have both, or who are at least making significant progress.

Other than "endorsed," how did you decide what flair to give to other users?

There are several people who gave self-assigned flair from the previous system, which I did not delete, and some unique cases that were added. They fell into three categories:

  1. Women - It can be valuable to know whether you're speaking with a dude or DEERing to a wife and mother. At least for now, I happily welcome female participation on this sub. Unlike the secular subs, I believe marriages can be improved not only by men being better men, but by women being better women too. As we follow Christ, they can learn to follow us. And while I stand by 1 Timothy 2:12, even without her trying to teach me, I still learn a lot about how I treat Christ by the way my wife treats me. There's something to be said for the conversation-starters some of the women here do prompt.

  2. Non-Christians - While I don't mean to insult anyone who is of another belief system or has chosen to remain agnostic, the fact that their comments and posts are grounded in either philosophy or science instead of theology is worth being aware of up-front.

  3. Unique Flair - As something of a catch-all, there are some users who, while not fully endorsed, deserve some credit. Whitified, for example, is our "Blue Target Bazooka" - if he smells any blue in the air, he'll blow it up, and there's nothing soft or subtle about it. That's why we love you, whitified! Weakandsensitive has also posted here from time to time - and we openly welcome his participation. While not a Christian, he is a mod on MRP and I've learned a lot from my conversations with him, so it's worth giving him that credit. I labeled "squizzo" as a disciple-maker because while I know relatively little about his relational life, I've spoken with him enough to know he's fighting the good fight for Christ and I'd gladly encourage anyone to listen to what he has to say about sharing the Gospel and raising up godly believers. Keep your eyes out for these types of unique flair and discern whether they're speaking in their element.

I should also note that we have not yet assigned "woman" or "non-Christian" flair to anyone. The people you see presently are those who have openly self-identified as such.

Can I ask for a certain flair to be assigned to me?

Yes, but that's not a guarantee that you'll get it. As a general rule, I plan to comply with any requests to assign flair that would distinguish someone as either a woman or non-Christian. So, if you want that flair assigned to you, even with a special quirk (ex. See Willow Girl's, which I have left in-tact), just let us know and we'll almost certainly make it happen. While it may cause some to lose respect for you, perhaps others with the same belief set as you may find they're not alone when they browse here.

However, if you're seeking to be endorsed, that does not come easy. You have to prove yourself first. I've had people who before ever making a single post or comment had already asked to be a mod. The answer to that question will always be no. We need to know who you are first, and if you're reliable - and only the endorsed will be considered for mod positions, should the need arise.

Can I get my flair removed if I don't want it?

You can appeal to the mods and we'll make a decision. For some people who may have negative flair, identifying them as untrustworthy, you're going to have to show some significant signs of change, and it will likely take time and consistency to prove that change. If you're labeled with something innocuous, like "Christian wife" or "LDS" we're going to want to know why you want to conceal this aspect of yourself from the rest of the community. If it's with an intent to deceive others and gain greater influence, the answer is no. But if you can come up with a good reason, we're all ears.

Any more questions? Post in the comments.