This article will probably be ongoing as I got more ideas along the way. Basically, I will present some ideas I have personally tested to raise boys to be more confident.
First, as an introduction, my boys are 6 and 8 years old. They are introverts like me. I believe that it takes a village to raise children. Kids can learn from teachers, trainers, grandparents, neighbors, and so on.
Less words and more actions. I believe kids should have more social experience (safely) and fewer lectures from parents. When they do have a problem (conflict or such) then you provide some guidance. It is a natural process.
-Avoid tablets, video games, tv but prefer giving them comics, books, board games. If they do not play video games they will be more interested to go outside and meet other kids.
Social ( probably the most important)
- Sign your boys to team sports or martial arts
My older son does twice a week a team sport and he is quite good at it. Any sport you are moderately good at can bring confidence. My younger son does once a week, for now, a martial sport. This is a matter of personal kid's taste of course.
- From an early age push them to be social ( go to parks where they can meet kids, push them to meet kids in your own neighborhood, holidays, etc...)
I have noticed that my boys approach new kids more easily by applying this method.
- Slowly let your kids go on their own with friends from your neighborhood. I have to be honest this is kind of scary at first to let them go on their own. You have to teach them how to recognize danger first. For me, it was difficult at first because bigger kids were annoying little ones in my own neighborhood. My younger son got pushed on the ground once by a bigger one. This is life. This is experience. This is a trial and error process and you have to feel your kids are mature enough to let them play with kids on the street.
Be careful that they don't become a target for a bully. Stop letting them go out often if a bully regularly attack them because it can be damaging for confidence. You can monitor at first and be present with them when meeting other kids before letting them go on their own for a small amount of time.
I noticed that confident boys are often outside on their own. They probably feel like they are the boss or something. They are not scared of anybody and girls seem to like them of course.
- Teach your kids an eye for an eye mentality.
Why? It is bully prevention. To my mind, it is very important. You can even do some kind of role-play where you pretend to be a bully and tell your kid to react.
Many studies have shown that boys gain more confidence from wrestling with their fathers.
-Girl /Boy difference
From time to time sons will tell me some behavior of girls that boys do not. Then I tell them slowly about the need for an adult man to be strong and women don't need as much. That is why girls report to teachers, they need protection. Boys and adult men need to protect themself and others.
I also do tell them few red pill concepts when the time is right like "focus on your own goals". But I don't do it often.
- Teach skills such as fixing stuff. My boys love to pretend they are fixing stuff around the house.
- Help kids to do their homework
- Read stories at night
Obviously, the main idea is to be a role model for your child. As a father, you should eat well, do body lifting, be a masculine man. Why not bring kids to your personal hobbies or work from time to time. Show them you are a confident man in this world is good too of course.
Any other field-tested ideas?