•How old are you (and how old is your partner) and how familiar are you with RPW?

40 (44) extremely familiar - I used to read it before the subreddit split and people changed usernames due to doxing.

•What is your relationship status?

married, 2 kids

•What is the problem? (Don’t badmouth your SO!)

when we disagree on something, I try to work through the issue with him. What ends up happening is the "communication" makes him feel more frustrated and he's sorry that we talked about it in the first place. Sometimes the issue is resolved, sometimes it's not, but I'd prefer to be able to resolve issues without it being so painful.

•How have you contributed to the problem?

I try to explain myself and my motivations so that he can understand me. It makes him more irritated and he feels like I'm arguing with him. He feels like he isn't understood - likely because I'm not expressing anything that indicates that I do understand him and am more focused on correcting any misconceptions that he has about me and my motivations.

•How long has this been an issue?

forever. we're still close and intimate but I would prefer that we would be able to communicate more smoothly when there's disagreement.

•What have you done to resolve this problem?

I have tried to stay quiet and listen. However, this doesn't do anything to resolve the problem or misunderstanding. It gives him a chance to vent. I need to learn to communicate without him feeling like I'm arguing with him or invalidating his feelings.

If married or in a committed, monogamous relationship: •How long have you been together? over 15 years. •Is your relationship long-distance? no •Do you have an active bedroom life? yes - and I credit RPW for that. Several years ago I used the advice of having sex even though you're tired because 99% of the time you'll enjoy it and be glad you did. So true. Post kids, it was a boon to our sex life and helped us become closer.