A few months ago, I (23F) started talking online with this guy (26M) that lives in another state (about a two-hour flight away). He is currently in medical school, and I am applying to medical school as well. We will be graduating med school at the same time and would be able to live in the same city — albeit around five years from now. The other option is I could go to his exact medical school, which is pretty challenging as getting into any medical school is extremely competitive by itself, but then the distance factor would only be at play for one year.

We have been texting back and forth for about three months, and we started video-calling a couple weeks ago (both lasting several hours). We are able to talk about anything and everything — families, friends, passions, hobbies, personal stories, career ambitions… you get the gist. He is very interested and curious about me as a person. Before we both get too emotionally invested, we want to make plans to actually meet up as in-person chemistry can be very different from online. Given our class schedules, it works out best where I am planning on visiting him first some time next month, and if all goes well, he would come visit me the following month.

The complication is that we are both in school and so money is tight; we can barely afford our own flights, much less a hotel for multiple nights. If I go to see him, I would be staying with him and he only has one bed as he lives on campus. If he comes to see me, it’s the same situation (I live in my grad school housing, too).

We have some differences in our dating experiences. His past relationships were basically just the whole college hook-up culture thing — sleep with a girl, she may linger, but then he’d meet someone else and start sleeping with her (and repeat cycle). Even though he normally has had sex with a girl before committing to a relationship (if at all), he said he respects my values and is willing to wait until we’d be official to have sex. However, he has also expressed concern over the difficulties that would come with us being long-distance, in the case that I can’t go to his same medical school.

I’ve had a couple of serious relationships, but I’m still a virgin. I’ve already let him know that I don’t have sex with someone outside of a committed relationship. However, I have yet to tell him I’m actually still a virgin. How do I mention my virginity to him in a way that won’t be off-putting or without it seeming like I’m not sexually attracted to him? I am most certainly attracted to him, by the way. If we were to be in a serious, committed relationship, I would actually consider losing my virginity to him.

Lastly, I am just a bit scared to hop on a flight to meet some guy from the internet, so I was thinking of having briefly meet my parents over the phone when I am with them for the holidays. I know it could be seen as premature, but I just want to protect my heart and keep myself safe. How can I ask him to meet my parents over the phone without seeming clingy or overly invested in him, but rather from a place of self protection?

Also, am I being naive in thinking that he can actually keep his promise that he won’t try to have full-on sex with me when we do meet? He told me that he really wants for me to trust him in that he would take care of me if I come visit him, but he understands that it’s a lot to ask from someone who’s never met him in person. I really have tried to be vulnerable with him, and he has been with me as well. I normally would never consider a long-term long-distance arrangement, but I really feel there may be something very special here (and I am assuming, based on his attitude toward me, that he feels the same). Please point out any red/green flags you see here! I’d love all perspectives from you here!!! Thank you for reading my giant wall of text!