Anxious newcomer

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-01-07T22:02:17+00:00

I say this, having kissed two men in my life. Please don't get caught up on things you can't change, including your sexual history. Not only can you not change it, it's not exactly uncommon today for both men and women to fall for the lie that hook up culture is harmless fun in their younger years.

Any time n-count comes up here, the conversation inevitably ends up being one of two extremes: half the commenters claim it's vital information that will make or break a relationship, while the other half insist no one cares and the idea that they would is utterly sexist and archaic. The truth is generally somewhere in the middle. Some men care and will demand an answer, while others just don't want to discuss it. I tend to believe the older people get, the more likely they'll be in the latter camp. My husband was 30 and I was 27 when we met. The only reason he ever knew my number was one, was because I awkwardly blurted it out to him mid-makeout session. He claims he'd have never asked, otherwise. I believe him, because he has friends who also never asked their wives.

It's great that you've found RPW young. There's a lot of great advice within it. Many women wish they'd discovered it sooner. It's also not gospel. You don't have to follow it to a tee. You can take what works for you. I cannot stress this enough, however, when I say to stay out of the men's spaces. Their goals are inherently different, and women here are often advised not to date men who are familiar with the Red Pill. The rabbit hole that is the men's spaces isn't meant for you and will only make you feel worse. Work with what you have and know that that's a lot, especially so young. You have years to improve and claim the life you want.

Fae_Leaf · 2024-01-07T22:13:51+00:00

Don’t lie. My count is higher than I’d like—though not extremely high—but it wasn’t a problem for my husband. We discussed our histories with each other during the dating process and never had an issue with it. Having a higher count is a flaw, but nobody is perfect. Work on yourself and on ways to make your value higher in spite of the higher body count. Some men are going to have a problem with it, and some are not. But a lot of it comes down to the circumstances and how you present yourself now. Higher body counts on women who are proud and think it’s a cool thing will look far worse than women with higher counts but recognize it’s not something to be proud of and don’t condone at all.

AutoModerator · 2024-01-07T21:49:42+00:00

Title: Anxious newcomer

Author bunnybearears

Full text: (Deleted this post by mistake, here it is again!)

Hi, guys---22F here, just getting into RPW more seriously. I've been reading up on it for a few months and it really resonates with me. I want intimacy and to find a serious partner to build a future with, but I wanted to ask about N-Counts, as I'm ashamed of mine.

I know I'm young, but I think I've made a lot of mistakes when it comes to it. I had my fair share of flings towards the tail-end of the pandemic---at the time I had taken a gap year, and so I effectively but unintentionally completely isolated myself for over a year. Coming out of it, I wasn't in the best mindset, especially as I had broken up with my long-term boyfriend of over a year around the start of lockdown due to long-distance. I had casual relationships and I recognize now that it was awful for me. I would end up catching feelings and I wish I had the sense at the time to seek out professional help. I regret that whole time and I wish I could undo it.

I know I need to face the consequences of my own actions, and I don't want to lie to a future partner about it, either---I can hope that it either wouldn't come up, or that I can decline to share (I know that a man would have every right to not want to pursue me if I don't disclose, which I accept.) I guess what I want to ask is if there is any way I could find a HVM who accepts me despite my mistakes? Is there anything I can do to improve my chances?

I have been in a full-intentional nun mode for close to three months, focused on improving myself and getting fitter. I know that I'm not owed any man or relationship, but I want a family and someone to love more than anything and I'm having a hard time coping with the fact that I might have messed that up for myself because I didn't think through my actions.

Thank you for any advice anyone can offer.

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AutoModerator · 2024-01-07T21:49:43+00:00

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Title	Anxious newcomer
Author	bunnybearears
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	January 7, 2024 9:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1913my0/anxious_newcomer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/anxious-newcomer.1242469 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242469

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