Approaching/Opening guys

Kineticillation · 2013-10-03T20:53:41+00:00

So... I'm not subbed here. To be honest, I don't really like it here. But I browse sometimes and noticed that here was somewhere I could actually comment, so hi.

I approach(ed) guys as soon as I can find something in common, that's the ice breaker for me. What are they reading on the bus, any interesting accessories, tattoos, the like? Ask them about it, if you're curious. I even compliment them on it, if I know what it is and also enjoy it. I keep a really open profile, no crossed arms or legs, easy smile.

"What to do"--I'm guessing body language, touching, the like?--really, really varies on what kind of guy you like. I'll admit, I'm rather flirty and would like someone flirty back. Cool pendant? I'll ask for a closer look and then reach slowly (so they have plenty of time to lean back or otherwise show a "don't do that" want.) and hold it, lean forward to look. I have a tattoo just under my collarbone so I always have an excuse to pull my shirt more open to show them, if the starting topic is tattoos. Lots of eye contact, lots of leaning forward. Don't play with your hair or earrings--this took me ages to break, but it's really paid off!

DON'T TALK ABOUT other guys. That's it. I'm very into keeping politics, religion and money on the table though I know a lot of people will disagree with me. But that's my only thing. If they seem curious, obviously disclose if you're in an open relationship or the like.

The thing is, you can't make them be interested or engaged, and you can't deliberately leave them wanting more. If they're still talking to you, you already have. You're a woman, you're beautiful, you're strong. If you're posting about approaching men, then you're the bold and fierce kind of woman a lot of men want. The ones you want will like that, and want more from you.

Oh, and a social life helps a ton. I go to meet-ups a lot, I know events going on at a lot of local bars, so I almost always have a "You might be interested in X. There's this thing next Thursday I'm going to--wanna come with?" If he shows any interest, "Okay give me your number, I'll text you the location and everything, and we'll pick a time to meet up."

Ta-da. Rock on, girl.

Kernes · 2013-10-03T13:45:43+00:00

I would suggest to not overdo, be yourself first.

Any subjects to avoid talking about?

I think if you use common sense it should be enough

How old are you?

destraht · 2013-10-06T07:23:09+00:00

Dude here. I become super confident once I know that a woman whom I like is interested in me. Especially in America, the brutal rejections are often just not worth it for me if I don't get clear indicators. When I am really inspired by a woman I become quite impressive to the point that I impress myself. Its a great feeling for me to really like a woman and to recieve an all clear signal. Best stuff ever.

TempestTcup · 2013-10-03T13:47:14+00:00

dont approach/open

you arent male PUAs

make eye contact and send out IOIs (indicators of interests) let them approach you

it sounds like you get approached all the time and just think its weird and creepy

you are too neurotic

crankypants15 · 2013-10-07T11:14:40+00:00

Ok, I'm sure I'll be the oddball guy here. I don't settle for "discount bin" women. I want to see a woman has good communication, and actually understands relationship dynamics, and expresses that she wants LTR without jumping into things. I understand people need time to get to know each other, I'm fine waiting for sex 1-2 months. If you want LTR, state that on the first date, don't waste my time by keeping me guessing.

I don't mind approaching women, but they should at least know how to flirt. If you would do this to a platonic guy friend, it's not flirting. If it could be interpreted in 2 ways, don't expect great success. Flirting should be clear and not ambiguous. Don't be vague just because TRP says to. You can start subtle, that's ok. But then ramp it up if he's not responding.

A woman who doesn't know how to flirt probably has many other issues with communication and/or courage and I won't be real interested. If you are nervous, try again. A woman who gives up easily is not what I want. And I don't settle for stellar mediocrity. I want a submissive but brave women, not a jellyfish (no backbone) with poor communication.

In summary: I want a submissive woman who has great communication, courage, and strength. IMO they are not mutually exclusive. Or maybe that's just my personal preference.

Examples:

A girl smiles a regular smile at a guy, holding eye contact. Eh, it's a flirt, but does not show the boldness I'm looking for. Girl tilts head down, then looks up at me with her eyes and a smile. This is what I call the "demure smile", it's more of a clear flirt to me and shows some boldness.
A girl looking right at me doing the eyebrow waggle is a pretty clear flirt.
A girl giving me the "come hither finger" is a pretty clear IOI.

Your ways of flirting are fine, I just prefer boldness and confidence in a woman.

Swifthand · 2013-10-05T03:37:54+00:00

Can't tell you about approaching, but here's a different tip:

Physical IOIs. Best way to bring someone into the moment.
More subtle IOIs will be easily missed by someone who is in a little bit of stress (e.g. mentally absent and thinking about work etc.).

Momentary distraction from said stress is also a trait I value a lot in women.

umbilicaljane · 2013-10-03T04:42:21+00:00

I have the same question. I kind of prefer approaching because I have a choice. I can't choose who approaches me (and I got a whole ton of scary people who have approached me in the past) but I can choose who I approach and how I present myself. I feel like it gives me a little control (I don't know if it is RPW to want a little control).

Title	Approaching/Opening guys
Author	umbilicaljane
Upvotes	15
Comments	45
Date	October 3, 2013 3:04 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1nmp51/approachingopening_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/approachingopening-guys.84010 https://theredarchive.com/post/84010

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