Hey ladies, I lost my man by being a complete idiot and thinking I was too young and inexperienced to settle. He wrote me this when he left.

" I hope you become the person you are trying to be, I admire you and all your accomplishments and am excited to see you grow as a person. You have always inspired me to become a better person and I'll never forget all the things I've learned from you. I sincerely hope we will remain good friends"

We have exchanged various other messages but that one sums up how he has always viewed me. We broke up in April and have hung out all summer. He started dating someone else in June and I really wasn't worried about it (assuming it was a rebound). I was calm and collected all summer "knowing" he still loved me.

All summer he would make jokes about how I broke his heart and would introduce me as his ex to all his new friends in a joking manner. We would share stories about when we were together like it was all in the past. He would be as attentive to me as he always was and I felt he was still in love with me. He never stopped complimenting me.

I have not even begun to let him go. I haven't dated anyone else and was trying to sort out who I was before I committed my life to him. The plan was to move to England for 6 months (I have an internship there) and then move back home and "win" him back. I thought the move would help me solidify who I was and be a better girlfriend when I came home. I thought he couldn't possibly love another in such a short time.

Yesterday is when it all went to shit. His girlfriend left on vacation and we hung out, as the day wore on I slowly realized how much he cared for his new gf and the heartbreak hit me like a ton of bricks. I started making mean jokes about her and belittling their relationship in a "sarcastic" manner. By the end of the day I broke down in tears and told him I had been working on getting us back together and that I was crushed. He told me he didn't realize that was what I wanted as I had acted so calm throughout the breakup. He ended the conversation telling me he wanted to be there for me but he would not speak with me if I didn't stop being so mean.

I posted an uplifting post on Facebook about constantly bettering oneself and he liked it...Which made me feel like he was pitying me.

So here I am. A blubbering crying idiot begging for her man back. Belittling other women. Posting dramatic shit on social media and allowing myself to become half the woman I used to be.

I want your advice how to come back from this. I don't want my feminist friends telling me to sleep around and eat ice cream. I am willing to accept he is gone. But I would love some advice on the most likely way to get a guy back....even if it is 100% futile.

Please be harsh and honest. I'm so ready for a change!