First real relationship, advice? Settle down, keeping the spark alive.

Popeman79 · 2019-04-03T15:47:44+00:00

This is from a man, so downvote this if this in not welcome here. I'm older but similar to your bf: redpill, had a lot of fun, and am now settling for family life with my ltr.

My advice:

your man will specifically judge how you treat him when he's at his lowest. If he does something stupid and his friends make fun of him, do you stand by his side? What about when he's weak? Do you support him in things you dislike, like playing video games or other things you don't get? Sometimes he wants to be left alone, do you let him without nagging him? Do you still fuck him when he's not his Chadiest self?
Specifically on this last point, sex is very important for keeping the spark alive. My ltr rarely turns me down, even though sometimes I know she's not really in the mood. From my side I also consider it my duty to have good, regular sex, and make her feel like a woman, even if I'm tired, etc.
Love him in his language of love, not yours. Maybe you like to be told "I love you" a lot, maybe he likes to be held. Learn what he likes, to show him you love him.

Zegiknie · 2019-04-03T17:51:38+00:00

What Popeman79 said with one little warning. For 99.99999999% of guys, meeting friends and family and talking about settling down means it's going well. Then I know this one exception who does that with all his plates. Nobody tells the girls. You can never be completely sure, even if you do everything right. Love and life entails risk.

I settled down with my first serious LTR. How to make it last in general? Too complicated to explain in one post. The basic of stomach full, balls empty and ego fed apply everywhere. And then malleability - adapt to make yourself indispensable to him. And fun.

I am a reader, so even if it just rehashes obvious stuff, I keep reading about marriage (and parenting and homemaking) just to keep myself sharp. Sometimes I even learn new things. Mostly I get the reminders. Others listen to podcasts or watch youtube or have little groups. Whatever works for you is good. This subreddit also works :-)

I suggest you look into MGTOW and avoid being all the things they think women are. Lots of women just get outraged and offended, but there is a lot of pain there. Some of it caused by pretty mainstream behaviors.

Mostly: make sure he never has cause to regret or second-guess choosing you. And make sure he is worth it. Just because he picked you, doesn't mean he is a great man. TRP teaches men to push all the right buttons. Do your goals align? Does he want marriage, kids, do you? What religion? Political views? How does he feel about things like cosleeping and spanking and circumcision? Some people go to premarital counseling for these sorts of things.

pearlsandstilettos · 2019-04-03T15:57:13+00:00

Could you take the spoiler tag off of this post please.

Title	First real relationship, advice? Settle down, keeping the spark alive.
Author	Starseed97
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	April 3, 2019 3:28 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/b8zew1/first_real_relationship_advice_settle_down/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/first-real-relationship-advice-settle-down-keeping.224211 https://theredarchive.com/post/224211

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