Is this a passive aggressive behavior?

Ok_Philosopher · 2018-07-16T03:18:48+00:00

I don't think it's terrible advice, when done well. Men like to pursue during courtship. They want to feel like they had to work hard for a prize and that many men would kill to be with her, but he got the honor. Of course... you have to be that high caliber woman. You too have to put in the effort and do all of the things promoted here (act feminine, be classy, etc). A gauge of whether or not you are high caliber, though, also has to do with your availability (or lack thereof).

If a man feels like a woman is too easy, they lose interest. Hence the whole rationale for why women should keep a low n-count (though I think others take the value of this a bit too far).

Dunno. While I think marriage has very different rules, I think courtship is a game. Dating is a game. We are animals with our own rituals as bizarre as birds showing flashy feathers. It's a subtle dance with rules that don't make much sense when stated aloud. It's confusing and messy. But let me point out... he's playing the game, too: Acts cold by text but then sends a romantic poem shortly thereafter? Then accuses OP of playing games? Come on.

Since you two have only been dating for three months with no explicit signs of commitment, then absolutely take things at his level (if not yours, which should be slower and not faster when it comes to the commitment train. Just as he need(ed) to follow your pace on intimacy).

girlwithabike · 2018-07-15T22:16:04+00:00

Why are you playing games? Serious question. Are you exclusive with this man? Has he expressed feelings of love towards you? Why are you being so cautious about his investment in you?

“Don’t invest in a guy based on how much you like him; invest in a guy based on how much he invests in you”.

This is nonsense. While I don't think you should go overboard or become supremely clingy simply because your hormones are telling you he's great -- you also should not be trying to match him one for one on contact.

The first reason is that men are not stupid. What you are doing is obvious. In fact he already figured it out and told you to knock it off. Do you really want a man who didn't figure it out?

but I felt he was cold

There is always a problem with you trying feel the reasons for his behavior. If you are following this stupid rule about investment, then you don't understand men enough to even begin to interpret his behavior. I've been with my husband for over a decade and there are still times when I say "What's wrong, are you mad at me" and he looks at me like I grew a tail. This investment rule makes you study his behavior looking for signs of low or high investment to respond to. Instead you should be naturally interacting with him.

If he disappears, let him disappear. He needs space to think sometimes. If he disappears and you want to know where he went, say "where did you go" and he'll answer when he gets back to it. Say it once and don't pester. Asking a question is not needy, asking the same question repeatedly is needy.

savvyasfun · 2018-07-15T22:53:38+00:00

Most people don't consider texting to be time sensitive. Don't attribute lapses in response time to a reaction to your conversation.

If he is distant and cold when you are spending time face to face in conversation that's a separate issue but maybe he had no idea how excited you were based on the way he read your texts.

Jaclyn_Gangsta · 2018-07-16T00:31:15+00:00

I’m 23 YO, and my bf is 37 YO. We’ve been together for almost 3 months.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Illuminaughtyy · 2018-07-15T22:05:24+00:00

Is English your first language?

theFriendly_Duck · 2018-07-15T21:38:16+00:00

In the same boat right now. It's so confusing and advive is welcome.

Abara4 · 2018-07-16T02:57:43+00:00

If you read the message and he sees the "seen at xxxx" and you dont answer that is playing games and yes it is passive aggressive especially if you usually answer right away.

laumei2018 · 2018-07-16T05:54:05+00:00

Low investment behavior is different from passive aggressive behavior. What you are doing is mirroring, which is ok.

[deleted] · 2018-07-16T17:51:40+00:00

I have almost no need for human connection, weirdly, but it's made my dating life amazing. If a guy doesn't text me back or reciprocate I simply send them a text saying I'm not happy with their current level of engagement and move on.

They 100% of the time come crawling back.

At the end of the day the numbers are on our side, if he isn't satisfying your needs there's 10000000 men who will. Are you sure you love him or just want his attention?

Title	Is this a passive aggressive behavior?
Author	DelicateFlower14
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	July 15, 2018 9:02 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/8z5016/is_this_a_passive_aggressive_behavior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-this-a-passive-aggressive-behavior.74935 https://theredarchive.com/post/74935

Comments