~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 37 | Most common mistakes women make with men | DISCUSSION | Ok_Philosopher | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/18 04:06 AM |
| 21 | What advice/habits would you impart on your daughter as she grows up? | INSIGHTFUL | Ok_Philosopher | /r/RedPillWives | 14/08/18 05:54 PM |
| 18 | About weight | ASK RPW | Ok_Philosopher | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 07:33 AM |
| 17 | Perhaps off topic, but let's talk about... Mail order brides | DISCUSSION | Ok_Philosopher | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 01:21 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | How do you find balance?Kid has turned one? That's a surprisingly difficult age. Mine couldn't be alone at that age for more than two minutes, which meant I was either wearing her in a wrap or interacting with her in some capacity. Because of this I relied on my husband to either clean or we ordered a ton of ready-made food. It gets easier at 2-3 in terms of being able to multitask. The kid becomes a mini dictator with its own challenges, but your hands become freer. So in terms of balancing... I wouldn't expect to be … | /r/RedPillWives | 07/09/18 04:38 AM |
| 7 | Engaged!Yaaay! Give us the proposal story, what does the rock look like? Tell us all the details. :) | /r/RedPillWives | 07/09/18 02:46 AM |
| 5 | I hope this question isn't too offensive. Just seeing what advice I can get. Are there any redpill subs for women that don't advocate for marriage?I'm not sure if you realize that you often invite conflict in the way you post. Why come into a sub that advocates marriage specifically asking about subs that don't? Why not just comment on the many other topics in this sub that have nothing to do with marriage (and there are many)? Why bring up your views on marriage at all? When you ask about how to raise a boy, why even mention that you signed away all custody rights? You know the reception you're going to get. You know it'll generate a heat… | /r/RedPillWives | 31/08/18 02:01 PM |
| 11 | Stuck in bed & looking for interesting things to do.Plan your Christmas gift list. If you already have a designated planning phase for gifts then ignore, but every year around mid-December, I always wish I thought of gifts far earlier rather than be scrambling to get something good for those I love. | /r/RedPillWives | 26/08/18 02:22 AM |
| 3 | I'm a big fan of using Paprika for recipes. | /r/RedPillWives | 24/08/18 06:15 PM |
| 5 | Hate it. Granted, most of my experience comes from looking at toddler activity/birthday party suggestions and 1) coming away feeling like an inadequate mother, 2) not wanting to spent more time constructing the activity than my kid will spend and 3) not having half the stuff on hand anyway. | /r/RedPillWives | 24/08/18 05:25 PM |
| 19 | How to know if he's over his ex-girlfriendAs long as you keep being compared favorably I wouldn't worry too much about it. 4 years is a long time, and so it's understandable that he keeps using it as a point of reference for his subsequent relationships. The guy should probably have a better filter but I wouldn't be concerned. I think the best thing to do is date a bit longer and continue building a non-judgmental atmosphere in which he's comfortable telling you the truth. At some point you'll be able to ask the hard but non-accusatory … | /r/RedPillWives | 23/08/18 05:11 PM |
| 2 | A trip to the grocery store (a short self improvement field report)Yes to the list! I spend half as much money and time in the store when I have a plan. Good idea on doing it based on layout. I already divide mine into produce, bakery, dairy, snacks, but yours takes it one step further. | /r/RedPillWives | 23/08/18 07:22 AM |
| 4 | About weightwhich I know you know now! Yeah, sorry for coming off as aggressive and for the cold welcome, that wasn't cool of me--sometimes guys come and try to admonish women about "their place," but I can see that wasn't what you meant. You brought up a good point about why women can get hurt when men bring up their weight. | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 01:16 PM |
| 5 | About weightI just say 'aww, I had high hopes for this outfit/accessory/hairstyle' and change. I'm trying to reinforce a culture of constructive feedback in our relationship. This is so great! I'm getting better about this, but years of social conditioning have made me dig my heels in sometimes (to my detriment). I go back to the whole, "well too bad, take it or leave it, because I like it"-mentality... which is a warranted response when you've just met the guy but lousy for LTRs and marriage. | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 12:51 PM |
| 3 | About weightthere is a veiled threat in terms of leaving even if it isn’t intentional Disagree, and I think your comment does nothing but fear-monger. Spouses commenting on weight is, as I said, them relaying their personal preference. This is very different from subtly implying they're going to walk unless they get thinner. That's just dumb. Edit because I see from your post history that you're a woman instead of a RP a-hole trying to neg us: I think it would be better if women could reframe talks about we… | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 12:36 PM |
| 5 | About weightAw, I'm sorry. I'm really glad that it seems like you and your spouse have a dynamic where he's sensitive to your past and communicates accordingly. | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 11:26 AM |
| 2 | Off topic chat: What are you reading/watching/making right now?Micheal Pollan. Some of the best advice I've heard him say was to skip a grocery store's aisles and shop only the perimeters. Basically, go for the good stuff. I wish I could sew: How did you get into it? | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 11:08 AM |
| 5 | About weightI asked him to let me know if I was gaining weight or looking flabby This takes lady balls of steel! I thought I was somewhat radical in appreciating my husband's honesty with my weight gain but this is even more so. I actually think it's the healthier attitude to take, too: Why should weight be such a loaded topic? I do question why commenting, "I think you're more attractive when you weigh less" is far more controversial than our husbands telling us we're more attractive when we wear makeup or… | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 10:39 AM |
| 3 | About weightI agree with you on providing love and support, but I also find I personally respond well to tough love. I can count the number of blunt things he's said on just one hand in our 7 years of marriage, which means when he says something I take it to heart. I use the sting as momentum. Before this sounds like Stockholms, though, I'll add that I'll adjust to his harsher input because he's pretty wonderful in how he treats me 99% of the time. | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 09:36 AM |
| 10 | Broken up with, not coping wellOh I'm so sorry... I know there's a time and a place for learning lessons regarding the breakup, but for now I'll just impart the phrase, "you can be the best peach in the world, but some men just don't like peaches." The hard part about breakups is there's nothing to do. You put yourself in the best healing circumstance and then just let time do its magic. A broken heart has a lot in common with a broken leg. When I went through breakups I'd watch Sex and the City. It was not only a great distr… | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 02:40 AM |
| 3 | Reminding versus nagging, and what to do as a nag in recovery?Ah perfect! I love it when with husbands, the simplest (and innocuous) explanations are the right one. He's a true gem to just be like, "my bad, let's get it later today." Congrats on your new fancy watch, I'll bet it's beautiful! | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/18 02:03 AM |
| 40 | How can I become a "catch"?This is a great question! Becoming a catch actually differs depending on the stage of the relationship. What makes a woman great during the initial phases of dating won't be the same attributes as what makes a great wife. This is why I'm not going to throw out specifics like, "cook for him" and "show you can keep a clean house." Those are important, but I think how a woman conducts herself and aligns her expectations play a more significant role in commanding a man's respect (which really, then … | /r/RedPillWives | 20/08/18 08:46 AM |
| 10 | Most common mistakes women make with menDefinitely. Another bad habit that dovetails with this one is anything that says, "but he should've known that doing ___ would make me upset," and then not only getting upset at what he did, but upset that he couldn't predict that outcome. I find the line, "but he should've known better" to be invalid the vast majority of times. Unless the topic was explicitly discussed, it's irrational to expect him to read your mind and to know what will upset you and what won't. There are obvious exceptions t… | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/18 10:16 AM |
| 10 | I want to feel pride among other women for my needs!One of the most important lessons I've learned is to keep score during relationships (closely, at that), but to never keep score during marriage. Give and give and give some more. I think people who are either single, in relationships (or bad marriages) don't understand this, and consequently see giving wives as doing something wrong. I've also been judged for being too subservient and I just remind myself of this: I never take the advice of people who don't have the results I want. This could b… | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/18 10:07 AM |
| 8 | Most common mistakes women make with menAh the princess complex is terrible! I don't even know how to tell my friend when she acts like this. I kinda crouch around it ("go easy on the guy," or, "wow, your husband does so much for you, you're so lucky") but I never know how to tell her to cut her diva. It's as if women fall into two extremes where they're either a complete doormat and put up with way more than they should, or they're a princess. Not taking your spouse for granted is crucial. I have to check myself often on this one. | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/18 05:23 AM |
| 2 | Reminding versus nagging, and what to do as a nag in recovery?I hope it helps! As long as you're sweet and accommodating about the whole thing, I don't think it can be perceived as nagging. Hope you get that Apple watch soon. Keep us posted on the convo. | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/18 04:15 AM |
| 3 | A refreshingly reasonable post on motherhood, from the NYT of all sources!I dunno, I like the romantic version of motherhood and sacrifice--but, I recognize that it's probably overcompensating for the utter tedium involved in motherhood. We want to believe that reading Jump, Frog, Jump for the 81st time and staring at leaf blades and plastic princesses for most of the day is contributing to something greater than the activities themselves. And it is: creating a stable family is one of the most critical things to creating a healthy society. But I think in the monotony … | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/18 02:28 AM |
| 8 | Reminding versus nagging, and what to do as a nag in recovery?Actually no, I think it's perfectly okay to give him a gentle reminder. The way I'd handle it is if you're about to go for a walk or something, tell him, "I can't wait to walk with my fancy new Apple watch, it's going to be amazing!" Upon returning I'd then say, "if it's not possible for you to get it for me then no worries, I've been saving my pennies. I don't want to pressure you. If I need to shut up and be patient just let me know, otherwise I'm happy to grab it myself." This gives him a rem… | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/18 02:16 AM |
| 5 | Perspectives on raising a boy?At some point these responses make so little sense that I'm wondering if we're all getting trolled. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/18 11:34 AM |
| 2 | Perhaps off topic, but let's talk about... Mail order bridesUnderstandably (my aunt did this) the guy was just enamored with her, but doesn't seem to have any understanding of what it means to be a husband. How's your aunt doing today? Thanks for the insight, I think you have more familiarity with this dynamic than most of us here. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/18 06:29 AM |
| 3 | Perspectives on raising a boy?Do you homeschool your kids? If so, I have a million questions for you. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/18 03:16 AM |
| 6 | Perspectives on raising a boy?Words, promises, and vows don't keep people together. Action does. And that's what we will be teaching our children. If you mean to stay together with someone forever then do it. We don't need to make a vow which we can break at any time. Except these aren't the reasons he's eschewing marriage: It's to protect himself from the repercussions of a divorce. As in, he places such great magnitude on the institution of marriage that he won't go through with it. That logic contradicts what you're telli… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/18 02:24 AM |
| 3 | Perhaps off topic, but let's talk about... Mail order bridesIf she's breaking that loyalty and rejecting her own men, it isn't a far stretch to see how she wouldn't feel loyalty towards anyone else either. lol, no, that's a pretty giant stretch. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/18 02:08 AM |
| 3 | Perhaps off topic, but let's talk about... Mail order bridesThe insinuation of the original comment was, by its inverse, that those who marry outside of their culture do not have the capacity to be loyal or traditional specifically within the relationship (ie the comment, "different cultures aren't compatible.") I disagree with this, and I do not find your comment--which I generally agree with--to be nearly in the same spirit as melindamaga's. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 04:25 PM |
| 10 | Perhaps off topic, but let's talk about... Mail order brides"Russian women never banded together to make feminism happen because they would sooner rip out another woman's heart and take what she has". Wow, that's dark... which is generally a theme in Russia. It was actually a European lit course I took in college that taught how Russia never took to feminism because of its communist roots. Women already were forced to be in the workforce alongside men, and it was thus a luxury to be a stay-at-home mother. Femininity was discouraged by the state in favor … | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 04:01 PM |
| 9 | Perhaps off topic, but let's talk about... Mail order bridesAh, I raised the point of arranged marriages as being the same as mail order brides in that two people are coming together who aren't, at first, in love with one another. That's about where the similarities end, though, for all the reasons you've mentioned. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 03:40 PM |
| 3 | Perhaps off topic, but let's talk about... Mail order bridesI'm not agreeing with the logic here... I married someone from a very different culture and moved across continents to be with him. Doesn't make me any less loyal or traditional a wife. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 03:37 PM |
| 11 | Perhaps off topic, but let's talk about... Mail order bridesI think it's that these women go into it without the intention of actually loving the guy. You think so? I dunno, these women give up their homes and family, fly across the world to be with him... I think they hope they may eventually love the guy. Interestingly I live in a culture where arranged marriages are still the norm, and while those too are highly transactional, the success rate is much higher. And having witnessed a lot of those marriages, it's not because they're miserable but can't g… | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 01:53 PM |
| 3 | Perhaps off topic, but let's talk about... Mail order bridesThat's what leaves me scratching my head: The formula is technically in place for a successful relationship, but it so seldom works out well. Establishing the love necessary for a long-lasting relationship is quite complex and not one-size-fits all. It just surprises me that even when two people go into a relationship with realistic expectations ("I'm marrying her for looks and sex, and she's marrying me for stability") it still fails more often than not. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 01:31 PM |
| 3 | IRC chat - would you use it?I haven't used a chat room since the AOL days behind my mom's back because I wanted to collect beanie babies. I probably wouldn't pick up the habit again. I'm also on the old Reddit layout. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 04:12 AM |
| 8 | What advice/habits would you impart on your daughter as she grows up?Everyone's giving great advice so I'll chime in with my own of what I wish my mom imparted: Self care is a big one. I never learned how to put on my makeup or do my hair. Or even how to wash my face! One recent post is how self-care is a discipline rather than indulgence and it really put things in a new light. I'm going to teach my daughter makeup at 16 and hair as she grows up. I also want to teach her how to be a conscientious consumer. Women are the engines of the economy, and I want to impa… | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 03:53 AM |
| 4 | What advice/habits would you impart on your daughter as she grows up?You cannot hope for constant happiness, only true contentment. YES, and the fact that you gotta make your own contentment. That one's not easy, esp for stay-at-home moms because the day can look so monotonous sometimes. It helps being grounded in the present and your existing choices, rather than daydreaming, "what's a better use of my potential?" That one took me a few years to learn. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 03:40 AM |
| 8 | What advice/habits would you impart on your daughter as she grows up?I also think late 20s is a good time to get married rather than early 20s. I value those early years of independence that I had as a true adult making my own way in the world and sure, making tons of dating mistakes along the way. I completely disagree with the notion that women become irreparably damaged goods if they have a lot of dating history. Agree on the importance of a stay-at-home spouse. That's me in my relationship but I also know a lot of high earning women who wouldn't mind a stay-a… | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 03:37 AM |
| 6 | What behaviours or charecteristics would not be considered RP?Pssst... I'm still working on that one, too! I'm the first to admit I'm not always acting RP 24/7. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/18 03:32 AM |
| 5 | Does your SO have a say in what you wear?I learned to dress more conservatively because of my marriage. It's less about my spouse being controlling and more just a product of his culture. Generally, wrap skirts and dresses are my best friend. I particularly like A-line dresses and am wondering when they'll get back in style. Same with shorter hemlines (just above the knee--right now I see longer dresses in style). Hopefully both will come back soon! | /r/RedPillWives | 14/08/18 06:10 PM |
| 1 | Update on Cleaning With My DemonsCleaning still can be seen as drudgery but it's worth it. I think every job--even ones that pay the big bucks--have elements of monotony. How do you like FlyLady's routine? Is it working for you? I remember wondering if I should do Kon Mari or FlyLady and I settled on the former's method... but I am grateful for FlyLady teaching me how to get one mean squeaky clean sink. | /r/RedPillWives | 14/08/18 06:06 PM |
| 19 | What behaviours or charecteristics would not be considered RP?Let's see.... -Sleeping with your ex in hopes that he'll get back together with you. -Sleeping with a new guy in hopes it'll yield commitment faster -Cheating on your SO -Anything slovenly, be it appearance, house, car, etc. -Acting like a victim of past relationships/circumstances. -Gossiping or engaging in cattiness towards other women -Acting masculine or trying to act like "one of the guys" for the sake of trying to attract one | /r/RedPillWives | 14/08/18 05:48 PM |
| 1 | The Myth of the Alpha FemaleOh, then let me clarify: I have great love, deference, and respect for many men. They are just seldom RP posters. If men (like yourself) learned to address women in tones that aren't patronizing and condescending, that might change. I stand by my posts here on RPW as it relates to "understanding the point." I have zero interest in absorbing myself in TRP philosophy because when I do, I find it lowers my (generally high) respect for men. Like our convo here, actually. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/18 04:18 PM |
| 22 | Need another perspective on moving in (warning: hamstering ahead)Talk is cheap; rings are expensive. It sounds like he's going to propose soon so just stick with your guns in a gentle, loving way. It sounds like he's respectful of your wishes. If he knew waiting to be move in before engagement was the deal you made a long time ago, he's not going to perceive you as a tease who's just looking for a proposal. He knows you want to wait to move in until engagement, right? If you are kvetching about living with your parents, you can just smile and say something li… | /r/RedPillWives | 14/08/18 06:15 AM |
| 5 | Does your SO have a say in what you wear?I always felt like learning to walk on your tip toes was the best requisite for walking in heels. I did that all throughout my child hood, so putting on heels were just like a grown up extension of that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/18 05:45 AM |
| 9 | Not into OLD. Alternatives? (Warning:long post)I always liked Meetup to find guys, especially the more athletic ones like rock climbing gatherings. They also have singles Meetups that might be of interest. When meeting guys organically, the difficulty is just that: It's organic. Most people who met their SO did so in a totally random situation in which they couldn't have predicted that they were going to meet someone. I couldn't have predicted the day that I decided to bring my work to a restaurant was the day my SO would be introduced throu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/18 05:42 AM |
| 10 | The Myth of the Alpha Femaleare just sad men who can't get a woman. Yes. This is the convenience of the AWALT theory: "I can't get a woman to truly love me, so I'm going to blame it on the fact that all women are terrible thus unworthy of me." Such men might have a great time sleeping with women in their 20s, 30s, maybe even into their 40s... but beyond that? Have fun being that cranky old guy. I actually know one such RP man at that age and those decades of bitterness do not generate a good look. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/18 05:08 AM |
| 26 | The Myth of the Alpha Femalewhich is opposite of the goal oriented strategy discussion in this sub. These men have no use for you ladies. It's okay, we don't have use for those men either. Which is why it baffles me that they continue to post here and act like we should fall at their feet for their "advice." What seems to be lost is the belief that women here need to "adapt" to the input of all men. No, we don't. Many of us are in happily committed marriages or relationships--we adapt to our partners who have earned the pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/08/18 06:47 AM |
| 3 | Struggling with Finding Committed FriendsWhen Americans travel around the world, lots of non Americans hate them. This isn't just about political ideology, it's just that lots of Americans are basically a bunch of assholes. They can be, but Americans are generally well-received wherever they go. I used to be a self-loathing American... but it actually took travel and becoming an expat to realize that we're one of the most racially/ethnically tolerant, laid back, gregarious, warm, considerate-of-public-property nationalities. I could li… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/08/18 06:28 AM |
| 6 | Help me with advice before everyone wakes upGo with your husband and have his back first and foremost, but privately discuss why you're disagreeing with his decision to leave. Try encouraging him to go back but honor his decision. I wouldn't stay there by yourself without him. If your husband can't see the light, then send flowers to his grandmother thanking her for the brief stay. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/08/18 11:32 AM |
| 6 | Is my lover cheating? I need brutal honest advice please.I'd be very, very uncomfortable if my SO had this kind of relationship with a colleague. Her behavior is out of control, but more importantly, your boyfriend's responses aren't appropriate. Is it conclusive that he's cheating? No. But does that matter when you can't trust the guy? He clearly gets some type of validation from this other woman that he should otherwise be shutting down. You've been with him for 2 years. I think you're justified in requesting that he keep his relationship with his c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/18 05:40 PM |
| 4 | Why Is Dating Becoming So Difficult?I've watched Pettibone's ascent from back in 2016 when she was utterly demonized for her political views. She also spoke out on radioactive topics that made her (understandably) fear for her life and caused her to carry a firearm. So, I have a lot of respect for her. That said, her attitude reminds me of an SJW except for the tradcon movement. A lot of her videos can be summed up as, "society has gone to shit, ___ group is unfairly persecuted, my side is more enlightened than the other, and here… | /r/RedPillWives | 11/08/18 04:08 PM |
| 1 | A Woman's Role: Homemaking 101Good video. Long but worth it (I usually set YouTube videos to 1.5x speed anyway). | /r/RedPillWives | 11/08/18 04:59 AM |
| 6 | Is it too late to repair what I've done?Men hear the title and are immediately offput, but if they actually read the book they'd see much of it aligns with what they want in a woman. I think most ideas in that book gel with RP. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/08/18 05:40 AM |
| 9 | Is it too late to repair what I've done?I think you're coming across as clingy, and when that happens, guys naturally pull away as a way of expressing, "ah, too much too quickly, can't handle this/don't want this!" It's their way of hoping you'll back off by wanting you to take their lead of withdrawing. Being clingy is also a huge turn off. It's not too late. But definitely ease up. It sounds like you're aware and are doing exactly this. Go back to playing hard-to-get; not in a manipulative way but in a fun, "I got my own life and le… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/08/18 04:08 AM |
| 7 | Being RPW!My goal with writing this letter to my captian was to let know where i am putting my part in the relationship and where i need a little more from him If I was handed this note, it would frustrate the heck out of me. There's nothing in this letter where you've conveyed what you want from him. Not in any actionable way, at least. Men appreciate directness. When you want to change your relationship it helps to think of it as a negotiation. Instead of stating what the problems are presently, explain… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/08/18 03:58 AM |
| 8 | My libido is going sky racket and its ruining my self esteem.I agree, I think this is more a case of her feeling the need to act out in the other direction in her private life as a result of feeling repressed in her public life. If I had to suggest anything to the OP it's to allow herself to be more flirtatious and sexy in her every day life. She hopefully won't have to overcorrect when she's home online. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/08/18 03:29 AM |
| 3 | Is it RPW or is he asking too much?...I'm not married to one such person because I vetted well. Every woman should do the same. We don't have to be grateful for any guy that offers the ability to become a housewife, that's just dumb. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/08/18 06:35 PM |
| 10 | Is it RPW or is he asking too much?It's not his desire for clear division of roles that's an issue here, but rather what I see as disrespectful communication. "You set the fucking table?" "Lazy woman at home?" This is as entitled as me saying to my husband, "I want a fucking Chanel bag, so earn more money." And for him to compare your cooking and cleaning skills as subpar would be as emasculating (and unacceptable) if I were to say how I'm used to dating men who earn six figures and his salary could use improvement. Oh, and that … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/08/18 11:37 AM |
| 7 | Is it RPW or is he asking too much?I'd personally rather set my own table, clean the house, hold my own job, and raise kids on my own than be saddled with a controlling a-hole. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/08/18 11:17 AM |
| 2 | A Cautionary Cohabitating Talewhy do you feel this way? I know I'm going to sound offensive here, but I'll answer your question. When a woman marries and has a child (assuming a healthy marriage) then her first priority is the relationship with her husband/the marriage; second to that is with her child. When the marriage dissolves, the relationship with her child needs to be priority number one. It is damn difficult to give that relationship the time it needs when a single mother is back in the dating market. It requires bab… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/08/18 07:36 AM |
| 3 | A Cautionary Cohabitating Tale27-year-old single mother shacking up with a 21-year-old = bad idea. I have pretty strong ideas about moms and dating. I think if the relationship ends in anything other than maybe death of the husband, she best goes into nun mode to provide stability for her kid. Next, I wouldn't bring a man around a child unless the mother is engaged to him. You do not bring forth a potential father figure who may ultimately disappear because they're only dating. Third, I would only want to date a man with sim… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/18 05:02 PM |
| 18 | Getting organized-and staying that way.Have less stuff. At some point, "stuff" maintenance takes more time than we have in a day. And I mean real maintenance like ironing, folding, mending, dusting, organizing, etc. A totally empty room is always clean without having to do any work. As an extension (since no one lives in an empty house), if you're really busy, then try having as few things as possible. You'd be surprised how you won't miss a lot of what you have currently. As to how to stop being a pack rat, I'd grab a tupperware con… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/18 01:39 AM |
| – | Homemaking: Tips, Tricks & QuestionsI'd go tradescantia pallida: their purple is lovely, they grow very quickly and you can cluster them in a vase to look quite beautiful. They're quite hardy and I think a vase lasts about two weeks. Not bad! | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/18 01:02 PM |
| – | Homemaking: Tips, Tricks & QuestionsAbout once a year, I use a paint pen to retouch all of the moulding/sills for windows and sometimes baseboards. Those dust crevices are flipping impossible otherwise, and the touchups keep the house looking fresh. For parents: I keep a wicker basket in every main room of the house. I do so not for decoration but to quickly and easily clean up the room of toys (she's not old enough to do so herself). As a general rule, if my kid's toys cannot all be kept in one of them, I donate the surplus. I re… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/18 12:55 PM |
| – | Monthly GoalsI did a pretty good job of keeping my last month's goal of styling my hair every day. I still put my hair up in a pony tail a few times, but I made sure it had some kind of flair to it. Otherwise I kept it down and curled (or straightened) the rest of the time. I now add hair onto my makeup routine... which I've also kept. This month is about dental hygiene and nails. Dental hygiene is brushing at least twice a day and flossing morning+night. Nails are about keeping them filed and polished. It's… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/18 12:28 PM |
| 13 | Engaged but feeling some doubts... is this the hamster in action or something else?You've been with the guy for SIX YEARS. Of course there won't be butterflies or a feeling of infatuation after this time. After this long it's as if you two have been practically married for most of this time anyway (minus a lot of the benefits, but the emotional stability, probably). Let me be honest and disclose that I have felt tingles and butterflies and infatuation with other men stronger than I felt with my husband. Should I have married them? God no. I'm editing this in to add that I cons… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/18 07:03 AM |
| 8 | RPW, how have you handled being Pumped and Dumped?Read so many Male RPs or just guys in general say they stop giving a woman the time of day if she's not showing physical affection (bj, sex) by the second date. And these are not the guys you want to be with, I promise. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/18 06:38 AM |
| 17 | Influencing young girls?I'd get her into classic movies. It buys into the desire for teenagers to feel different but more cultured than their counterparts. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/18 06:37 AM |
| 4 | How long are you willing to wait for a proposal?but a significant blow to the woman as she has to start over with someone else Not really, she'll only be 22 and went through her college years with just one guy. That makes her still young and from a RP outlook, desirable for not riding the cc. It's not really a big hit to her in the big scheme of things; just temporarily. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/18 11:47 AM |
| 2 | Initiating ‘the talk’ or a serious conversation as a RPW?Only bring it up if you have zero expectation of it resulting in you two becoming more romantic. In fact, I'd frame it as you wanting to just be friends, and to keep anything related to emotions and feeling as past tense. If he kissed you recently but has been awkward/avoid-y most of the time, it means he likes you but not enough to even casually date you. Or, he's checking out other options. Not worth it. Over beer or some casual activity I'd say something like, "Hey, so I know there was some a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/18 09:29 AM |
| 17 | Letter to Young Women Part 2: The charm of the caregiverI want to marry /u/kittxxn ...and I'm a straight (already married) woman. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/18 02:26 AM |
| 19 | Will soon be quitting my job and becoming a full-time housewife. I (26f) want to impress my husband (31m) with how well I take on the role, so what advice do you have?Hey great, congrats! I offer the following random tips: 1) Get into the holidays. One of my favorite parts about becoming a housewife was decorating the house for Christmas, planning gingerbread houses, all of the holiday baking distributed to the neighbors, sending Christmas cards...all of the stuff I never had time to do when working. So, this means other things like planning New Years Eve to be special, Fourth of July BBQs, decorating the front yard for Halloween, making a romantic dinner at … | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/18 04:37 PM |
| 3 | Boyfriend has an extreme sexual fetishI've done some mild research and there's suggestions on scatophilia being linked to high-functioning schizophrenia To be fair... how many "normal" people would admit to researchers that they're into scat? I'd be curious to know the methodology of that paper. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/18 04:01 PM |
| 3 | My hamster is spinning out of control -- someone smack some sense into meGood for you for recognizing this is hamstering. Please do not indulge the thought that he's cheating without further evidence. Your guy just wants to feel like he can do uniquely "him" activities without it turning into an "us"-thing. This example is an oversimplification, but it might be like shopping. I enjoy doing it by myself rather than with him, because even if he'll be supportive, there's something in the back of my mind wondering if he'll say something about the price, the frivolity, wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/18 03:58 PM |
| 2 | Dating a mgtow!I'd view MGTOW as serious as a deal-breaker as, say, someone who doesn't want kids. Here's why I personally would never yoke myself to a MGTOW: 1) No marriage. 2) No kids. 3) No long-term security and a whole lot of risk. By this, I mean there's a possibility that you could spend your most "valuable" years to find a mate (20s) on a man who ultimately walks away from you. Then you're back in the dating pool and in your 30s, that's not a fun place to be. If you close your eyes, are you really okay… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/18 03:31 PM |
| 7 | Boyfriend has an extreme sexual fetishLooks like I'm in the minority with this opinion but I'll go ahead anyway: So long as you are not putting yourself at risk by showing your face in these videos, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with what you're doing. People have all kinds of fetishes that their partners are welcome to accept or reject. You are both consenting adults, so I see no harm here. If it's okay between you both then don't let any of us stand here and judge. I also have no clue how/why people are extrapolating other… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/18 03:18 PM |
| 3 | [Advice] Apologies if this isn't quite the right forum, but I have a question about PMS and mood swings...While I don't know if this would work for every woman, I found veganism to really work wonders on PMS. Raw cacao (or anything raw chocolate) is also a natural mood booster full of magnesium. B vitamins will also help. Also, steering clear of people is sometimes the best way to handle things. Pick a good book and just be as unsocial as possible. I think your guy would rather have you gone (temporarily, of course) than be a bitch. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/08/18 01:15 PM |
| 9 | Is there any hope for a single mother?I think there's absolutely hope so long as you have reasonable standards. You're 27 with a 3-year-old. I think there are plenty of 30-somethings out there who might be divorced and have a kid of their own. Once you get above 35, I'd even say that's the majority of single guys. Some men may screen out single moms because they don't want to raise a child of someone else's DNA. But I think most choose to exclude women with children because they don't want to get caught up in baby daddy drama. They … | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/18 03:47 PM |
| 4 | Career and Relationship Advice NeededStill, we're talking 30 here; not 36. Those 6 years make a big difference--to say "problematic to have a healthy child past 30" is fear mongering when medically speaking, geriatric pregnancy is only a term deemed for women 36 and above. Any pregnancy below that age is assessed by the medical community to be "normal" with statistically few medical risks. We can sling anecdotes about who had a healthy or unhealthy pregnancy in their 30s, but the doctors are pretty clear on this one. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/18 05:19 AM |
| 5 | Young, educated, well traveled, well read....and expecting?Wow, not an easy decision! Only you know what's best with this one. I'm sure you could be a great mom on your own. Many are. It's not ideal but far exceeds the situation of many other children in the world. If you were to have this baby you'd look in their eyes and wonder how you could've imagined any other scenario that didn't involve this little one in your life. Many women go on to have happy blended families in satisfying marriages. Not impossible. On the other hand, yes, the timing sucks. F… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/18 04:55 AM |
| 1 | What are your favorite feminine hobbies that aren't "basic"?If I'm shooting off the cuff, I'd say 10 if we're talking short vacations. But if someone has spent a long time in only 4-5 countries and picked up a language, then they could also be considered an avid traveler. Really, it's more of a spirit. Ideally a quiet, understated one. The most well-traveled people don't usually talk about it knowing how it can be just as obnoxious hearing about "that time where I felt this blissful aura at a monastery in Bhutan, but not the Tiger's Nest because that's s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/18 02:31 AM |
| 3 | Career and Relationship Advice NeededI'd focus on finding a fellow doctor during your post-grad surgery program. If motherhood and home-making is important I'd also choose a field conducive to that (say, dermatology over the ER). Or maybe something like a relief doctor who works as a private contractor for hospitals, and can therefore choose between time/money any given day. If you don't find a fellow doctor to marry, then you will have to be fine with dating a guy who will possibly earn less. And I hate to say it, it's not always … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/18 03:50 PM |
| 35 | Did the dynamics in your relationship change when you have gotten married?Others are summing it up nicely: 1) No intermixed finances before marriage. No joint bills, bank accounts, leases, loans to/from the other, nada. 2) No living together. 3) Cooking and cleaning for him at his place was a treat; not an everyday expectation. 4) Like /u/Kara__El , we also have a "no technological privacy stance" although we didn't explicitly state as much. It just evolved to that, and even though the 4th amendment is one of my favorites, I didn't mind giving him access to anything a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/18 03:40 PM |
| 2 | What are your favorite feminine hobbies that aren't "basic"?actually only do it maybe once a year. "Traveling" is another one of those tired, overused hobbies. You ask where they've been and the response is something like, "I studied abroad in London over the summer and went to Tuscany with my family. Spring break in Cancun was another good one, so I've been to four countries." To be clear I don't judge people for not traveling, as it can definitely be cost-prohibitive. It's just when people say they're these jet setters when their passports are still pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/18 02:57 PM |
| 1 | BuJoI didn't know how a bullet journal differed from a planner so I looked it up on YouTube and saw this. Made me wish I was half as creative to successfully carry out a bullet journal. I think I have to stick with a reg one because I need to have the guilt of not filling my days staring at me in the form of a planner with pre-assigned slots. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/07/18 12:04 PM |
| 3 | Getting used to an active, valuable lifestyle for my SO?It's good that you want to change. The things he wants for you will make your life better, so it's worth the push. That said, I hope he's also patient with you. I don't know how long you two have been dating, but there's a glaring 11-year age gap. This isn't a terrible thing, but it does mean he's had a lot more time to grow into himself. I'm also going to assume you're not in a situation where he's using self-improvement as means of controlling you. If he has controlling tendencies then his dis… | /r/RedPillWives | 29/07/18 11:47 AM |
| 3 | Social class and red pill womenI'm really not sure if we can generalize. I can picture old money Savannah conservative RP-mindset families, just as easily as I can picture San Francisco yuppies who raise their children very differently. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/07/18 11:19 AM |
| 1 | How do you determine your SMV? And how do you increase it?http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/feminine-beauty-is-highly-controllable.html Agree with /u/RMTKatimmura about the usefulness of that table. I should just upvote but also wanted to say thanks for sharing it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/18 05:23 PM |
| 20 | Riding the LTR cargo train, or: modern dating in your early 20'sTaken to its logical conclusion, you're implying the best route is for women to not date a man unless he's ready to marry. For a healthy age gap this means she's not to date or marry until she's roughly 25. Then, she's supposed to expect marriage as the outcome of her first relationship (because subsequent dating wastes precious years if she's 25). But ostensibly, she shouldn't pressure the guy too much for marriage because that never works. This is quite the paradox, no? Perhaps controversial, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/18 05:16 PM |
| 9 | How do you determine your SMV? And how do you increase it?truerateme Just visited that sub and those posters must be sadists, given the shockingly low ratings. One person gave an 8 to a woman who I considered a 9, and the person got -14 downvotes. This was in addition to a 30-day ban for allegedly rate inflating. I wouldn't touch that sub with a 10-ft pole as a way to gauge attractiveness. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/18 04:42 AM |
| 3 | Can't throw things away!I'd try the "free" Craigslist section. | /r/RedPillWives | 26/07/18 01:03 PM |
| 6 | Finding friends in the heart of extremely liberal Minneapolis...I always say church, even though I personally don't attend. I do believe there's tremendous social value to it. They won't be RP'ed per se but they will usually be family/marriage-oriented, modest, and possess strong civic values. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/18 08:36 AM |
| 1 | From Plate to WifeYou know, we have the exact opposite experience: my husband and I were engaged after 4 months of first meeting and married 5 months thereafter. Nope, I wasn't knocked up. It was a little surprising because he never wanted to get married (much to his mother's dejection). I then moved to a different continent to be with him. If an OP were to come here and ask something like, "my guy just proposed engagement after just 4 months and wants to live in a new country where I can't work, what do I do?" I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/18 03:22 AM |
| 12 | I hope this is okay to ask - I’ve read all the sidebar wiki stuff, I’ve read numerous posts. I am wondering what the RPW thing would be to do when a man you’re dating fades out? Do you call them out in a kind way then move on? Or do you just let it go and say nothing?Yes. The classiest thing to do is to say absolutely nothing. It's also the best way to preserve your dignity if you feel like the guy has bruised it a bit through ghosting you. Some women may think they're re-gaining their respect by confronting a guy... but all it does is affirm that you were more into him than the other way around. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/18 02:29 PM |
| 18 | Bad housewife?I'd get a maid to come in every week. When I had a 7-month-old I could barely remember my name let alone to clean up. When you said you work full time as well (on top of cooking) I just gave a low whistle of respect. If he's not down for a maid, then trade off: he watches the baby for 3 hours while you clean the house. There were definitely times where I preferred a root canal to spending another minute alone with my baby--I think every mom can relate to this sentiment. Go easy on yourself. The … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/18 02:22 PM |
| 15 | Love and Ambitiondo red pill women and red pill men share a perspective of similarity? Or perhaps we dont get along very well? I've thought about this just recently. Even though I subscribe to a RPW mentality, this does not always coincide with a RP mentality; in fact, I believe it rarely does. People have said RP is a toolbox which doesn't prescribe goals, but the language of RP'ers shows that they overwhelmingly use these tools to sleep with as many women as possible and not settle down. These are the exact op… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/18 12:16 PM |
| 18 | Love and AmbitionI've thought of a few responses to this post and all I'll say is this: The degree of self-loathing a woman would have to have to integrate any of the above points into her psyche would be genuinely tragic. I do not see the utility of this post for any woman of any age. Personally I'm going to hit the downvote button and read something constructive. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/18 07:32 AM |
| 44 | Dating a guy who cheated on his ex-wife“nothing is wrong as long as you hide your mistakes”. Ew, pass. Unless you're cool with an open relationship, but even this is less about sex and more about trying to get away with patent dishonesty. Not at all a classy guy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/07/18 03:23 PM |
| 6 | Is this a problem to bring to my husband or STFU?she should be able to laugh this off. It depends on how often the inlaws do this. I empathize to a degree because I too got so many comments about weight/food intake while pregnant. I think many moms can relate. For some reason, people see a pregnant woman and think it's open season to say whatever they feel about weight gain, weight loss, belly size, what she's eating, what she's not eating... it's very frustrating. Women's bodies are already something of a spectacle and that's exacerbated duri… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/07/18 02:51 PM |
| 3 | How can I figure out what he wants out of our relationship without nagging?He seemed like he was afraid of hurting my feelings or something and said he wanted to remain in a FWB type open relationship. Take him at his word. Also, you constantly being available for his every need--sex, no sex, cuddles, cooking together--is not going to get him to commit to you. If it were me, I'd tell him, "The FWB situation isn't working for me since I'm looking for a committed relationship at this stage in my life. I completely respect that you're not seeking that, and I wish you all … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/07/18 02:43 PM |
| 21 | Is this a problem to bring to my husband or STFU?Is it possible that your MIL and SIL are actually overweight, but trying to feel better about their own weights by presenting themselves as 'healthy'--and trying to co-opt you into their self-delusion? YES. I'd upvote this a million times over. Plus skinny people are seen as easy, permissible targets because they're the upheld model of beauty. The assumption is that their life must be so much easier--knocking them down a few pegs still won't make a thin woman's general experience as difficult as… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/07/18 02:30 PM |
| 27 | In what ways did you change your appearance for your SO?My style has changed a lot. It's hard to say how much my wardrobe changed from marriage vs transitioning from my 20s to my 30s. Plus I went from the US to a more conservative country, so a lot has been overhauled: no mini skirts, tank tops, halter tops, sun dresses, etc. Even though I'm barely past the 20s and I'm the same weight/build, I'll now try on a dress and think "yeesh, too young, I'm not in college anymore." My wardrobe in general can be frustrating because travel often--what looks chic… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/07/18 03:46 AM |
| 9 | How can I become a unicorn if I am an orphan?I have dated women with a past like yours and every one of them ended up crazy. And this helps OP how, exactly? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/18 01:58 AM |
| 7 | After I finish school, I will earn significantly more than my captain. How should I navigate this?Happy it helped! Yeah, I'd not get the sculpture. He'd be really happy at first, but the next holiday or birthday that comes up, he'd feel dread that there's no way he could reciprocate such an expensive gift. Not a fun feeling. I'd say the sculpture would be a, "we're married and bought our first home together with our joint bank account"-type gift :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/18 04:42 PM |
| 22 | After I finish school, I will earn significantly more than my captain. How should I navigate this?What I would recommend is to keep your spending level on par with what it is presently. Stash aside the extra earnings for the nest egg, as you said. This is best financially but also for your relationship. If you are going to spend more which is fine, don't be ostentatious about it. It's great that he's so supportive. Him not being intimidated is great. To ensure it stays that way, I'd avoid developing a lifestyle that he would find difficult or unattractive to maintain (expensive dinners, exot… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/18 04:11 PM |
| 11 | Importance of a height difference for a captain-first mate dynamic?Height doesn't have to be an important dynamic if it's not to you, personally. He may bring a lot of other things to the table that are far more important than appearance. In addition, partners usually grow more attractive in a woman's eyes as the relationship progresses. Guys that I deemed a 7 going into the relationship became a 9 because I fell in love with their personality, which then emanated outward to affect their physical appearance. Height could become a non-issue, is what I'm saying. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/18 03:58 PM |
| 5 | Back to the basics - the wall.And why would we be concerned with finding ONS/FWBs? And it's so bloody easy for women to find a one night stand. At any age. I could be 45 and not as hot as when I was in my 20s but triple my n count if I desired, and with younger guys at that. It's called Tinder. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/18 03:26 PM |
| 1 | Back to the basics - the wall.did you read it? Unfortunately, yes. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/18 12:14 PM |
| 1 | Back to the basics - the wall.men age like wine. They wish. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/18 07:53 AM |
| 18 | Back to the basics - the wall.To speak in simplistic terms of a woman's SMV isolated from the rest of her is not useful for a group of women aiming for commitment and marriage. I agree; nor, frankly, is it constructive. The general tl;dr of the post is "women get less hot with age." Tell me something I don't know, Sherlock. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/18 07:02 AM |
| 21 | Back to the basics - the wall.Women begin on the attractive side of the wall, while men begin on the unattractive side. Don't agree. If anything, men peak later in life and women earlier, but that's about it. To think men don't have a wall either is just silly: a man might be considered a silver fox from 35-45 (which yes, is past the time women have peaked), but after a while women will just see a wrinkly face and think saggy balls. If he's fighting his age and appearing in college town bars, then he becomes that pervy guy. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/18 06:15 AM |
| 7 | Newbie red pill woman - Need advise for broken marriageif one side is willing to be open to try to make things better and one isn’t, there isn’t much I can do beyond that. If you want to improve your marriage, then I'd expect it to be one-sided for a little while and do your best not to be resentful of that. He will eventually respond to your efforts but he has to trust that there is a thawing from your end. Both of you have walls for miles and that's understandable... but it's going to take a while to dismantle those. And it's got to start with you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/18 05:51 AM |
| 7 | Attention in the workplace...Honestly, I'd consider keeping your IG private and not really allowing for male coworkers as followers. It blurs the line between your private life and work life, which should be clearly drawn between you and these guys. It's your call but I just don't see anything good coming of it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/18 11:10 AM |
| 1 | Attention in the workplace...Ah. I mean, so long as you're satisfied with the attention then you have no responsibilities to manage anything. It seems like all is just fine. At the point you desire less attention, then tone down the sexy dress. If it really becomes uncomfortable then you'll have to be more standoffish and report it to HR... but if it ain't broke, why fix anything? | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/18 09:56 AM |
| 7 | Attention in the workplace......I read this entire thing and have no idea what advice you're seeking. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/18 09:09 AM |
| 1 | Weight and MarriageBe at the weight that keeps you happiest in your own skin. I obviously wouldn't suggest this if you were obese, but your weight is in a healthy range be it 113 lbs or at the 100 lbs. That said, a good diet goes a long way with mental clarity, energy, etc. When I eat crap, I feel like crap. It sounds like you're eating more junk food than usual and if I had to guess, you don't feel your best eating that food, either. For that reason alone I recommend switching to a healthier diet irrespective of … | /r/RedPillWives | 19/07/18 01:55 AM |
| 14 | Captain gave me one last chance to change my behavior and safe our relationship, I need help!What's going on with you personally that's triggering the eye rolls and rudeness? In my own relationship, I find that I can be far more hair trigger or just snippy when there's an underlying feeling of malaise, stress, insecurity, etc. When I work on those (often entirely unrelated to him) issues, my communication style becomes significantly brighter. So, I'd just do an internal check and work on whatever it is that's causing an attitude problem. This said, if he's actively RP then there could b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/18 03:53 PM |
| 1 | Captain doesn't seem to want to take our relationship to the next level. Should I breakup with him?There's a really ugly phrase, "why buy the cow when the milk is free?" While I really don't want to equate women to barn animals, there's still a valuable lesson in it that applies to you: Why would he bother committing to marriage when you've handed him all of the benefits of it on a silver platter? It's hard to pull back once you walk down a certain path, but I'd be renegotiating. He needs to start paying for at least half. You two should start having date nights. When he's on his butt playing… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/18 11:35 AM |
| 1 | I think my Mother is being Red Pilled - should I intervene?I think it's def worth mentioning the redpill. If he's in fact using that set of guidelines to treat women, it'd be good for her to identify if he was actively negging, dread gaming, plating, a host of other god-awful techniques that quality women shouldn't tolerate. Because they're manipulative in nature, though, it's not always easy for women to spot. | /r/RedPillWives | 18/07/18 07:56 AM |
| 3 | I’m in need of some perspective about myself and a LTRIt's really hard to know how to unpack this whole thing. Red flags = 1) You two haven't had sex in a year and you don't like his physical affections. 2) You don't respect his career trajectory. 3) You think he's a manchild. 4) You're only with him because you hope he'll change. Getting past each of these would require writing a novel. At the end of the day, there's gotta be a massive mental shift if you want to stay with him. I'm not sure if overcoming all of these red flags are surmountable, an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/18 06:16 AM |
| 4 | Help. Husband in “work mode”He probably doesn't realize he does this. I'd say, "I know your communication style is what makes you a fantastic lawyer, but it'd be great if that could take a back seat when you're at home. Is it possible to use a code word--like "peanuts" or something--to let you know that the conversation is becoming a little too aggressive and to change direction?" I think a code word is good for these types of situations because it replaces a long, drawn-out "talk things out"-convo that may make him feel d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/18 04:09 AM |
| 7 | Help. Husband in “work mode”or you can mirror him I don't recommend mirroring him, since that will cause the issue to escalate. He'll just get drawn into a combative discussion that doesn't need to happen. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/18 03:57 AM |
| 3 | I think my Mother is being Red Pilled - should I intervene?Nothing you can do or say can change either of them, unfortunately. You can say your piece maybe once or twice, but that's about it. If it were my mom, I'd say, "I'm only going to say this once. I think this guy is playing games with you, and he's operating in a way consistent with something called the red pill. Here's a book on how men are advised to act. See if it resonates with your relationship and if so, if it fits the model you want for yourself." Then... nothing. It's their deal. People c… | /r/RedPillWives | 18/07/18 02:52 AM |
| 2 | What are a wife's responsibilities?...yet it still made your own list, "to be his top cheerleader." In any case, let people have their own interpretations without calling something a "meaningless platitude." The downvote button suffices, you know. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/18 02:02 AM |
| 1 | Own Your StuffThanks for the tip! I picked up a bottle when I bought the curler. Not always sure how much to use per session, though. I also don't know how normal it is to curl or straighten hair: do some people do it daily, twice a week...? | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/18 02:45 PM |
| 18 | Going after your ex’s friend. How shady is it?You've never met this friend and you've only seen videos, but you're thinking of reaching out to him for dating purposes? Girl, no. Do you know how crazy/creepy/desperate this sounds? Do you know how it comes across that you're trying to re-hook up with your ex by proxy? Get your own guy and stay away from your ex's friends. I'll remodify post if it sounds too harsh, but... I'm just shaking my head here. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/18 08:33 AM |
| 5 | I Want to Quit University and Start a Family With My HusbandWhat's most important is that you and your husband are on the same page with this. This matter is a joint decision between you and him. We are making plausible suppositions about what he thinks ("he wants an educated wife," "he'll respect you more with a degree," etc). My first instinct was to also chime in and say he married you under one belief--that you'll be a chem engineer--and you're doing a 180 to housewifery. It is absolutely the smartest thing to continue your education. But... you're t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/18 08:25 AM |
| 1 | "Should I stay or should I go?"Timing is a very undervalued aspect of finding the right man! Truth. I read her phrase a few times and couldn't figure out if she meant that he was 21 now and because he'd be 26 (in 5 years) that he'd be ready... or if she meant he was 26 presently. I obviously took it to mean the former, but even if it was the latter, men in their early 30s are usually in that sweet spot for marriage. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 03:49 PM |
| 2 | "Should I stay or should I go?"Also, at the end of the day, 21 is still quite young. Agreed. And it is for him, too. He's 21 as well? Expecting him to think about marriage--no matter the timeframe--is highly unlikely. It's especially unlikely for him to say "I see us getting married" after just four months of dating, even if that's to mean five years from now. I'd say this is true for a guy at any age: It's just way too soon. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 03:15 PM |
| 3 | Femcels? (The female incel)Fair points. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 02:47 PM |
| 2 | Any tips? Would this be considered super overweight? Honestly not sure.I'd check out the site, mybodygallery.com. It offers a bunch of (self submitted) pictures of women at various weights and height. You can check out what 150 lbs looks like on someone of 5'7 and judge for yourself. It's obviously not perfect because everyone has a different build, but it may be helpful in figuring out what looks best for you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 02:12 PM |
| 12 | Any housekeeping advice/tips please?This can be easily resolved with a quick convo: "Hey, I'm trying to unpack and set up our new house--a lot of boxes have your stuff in it. I'd be happy to go through them, but I don't want to invade your privacy. How do you want me to handle these? Do you want to tackle them on a different date, go through them together this weekend...? When's convenient for you, and what can I do to help?" | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 02:06 PM |
| 16 | Do you drink alcohol?I'm a teetotaler. Don't like the taste, nor the effects, really. It's less to do with willpower and more simply disinterest. But I don't judge others who choose to imbibe. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 11:29 AM |
| 3 | Article: "3 Reasons Not to “Give Your Husband More Sex”"Perhaps you can elucidate, rather than make a remark that otherwise comes off as condescending. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/07/18 08:50 AM |
| 22 | Femcels? (The female incel)I know a lot of beautiful lesbians. So many that I actually wager that the lesbian population has an equal breakdown of hot women to unattractive as the hetero population. Thing is, everyone assumes the femmes (feminine lesbians) are straight, so this leaves the "obvious" butch-like ones that everyone identifies as lesbians. Then the assumption is that the butch aesthetic comprises the majority of lesbians when that's just not the case. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 08:19 AM |
| 1 | He can't trust my opinion because I'm "always so nice" and stand by everything he does.You sure this wasn't his way of deflecting your compliments in one of those off-the-cuff, self-deprecating ways? Sort of like your mom calling you beautiful and saying, "you're my mom, of course you're going to say that"? | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 08:13 AM |
| 1 | Article: "3 Reasons Not to “Give Your Husband More Sex”"Agreed that it should be about both partners, but when there are mismatched libidos--which isn't unusual in relationships--then I'd say "give" is a fair word. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/07/18 08:03 AM |
| 2 | Own Your StuffI've been pretty good about doing makeup every day for the past six months--this comes from someone who wore it maybe twice a year. Now I'm branching out to my hair. It's really long and pretty thick, and it'd always go in a ponytail. I'm trying to wear it down, learn how to straighten, curl, etc. I kinda suck at it but I'm trying. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 03:43 AM |
| 3 | A Change of Heart...Huge congrats on the first step! Instead of worrying that you'll turn out like your mom, just remember that you've been given a trove of information on what not to do. You're gonna be great. I'm also so glad to hear both of you grew and evolved together in your stance on children, rather than apart. That's wonderful. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/07/18 03:26 AM |
| 11 | Is this a passive aggressive behavior?I don't think it's terrible advice, when done well. Men like to pursue during courtship. They want to feel like they had to work hard for a prize and that many men would kill to be with her, but he got the honor. Of course... you have to be that high caliber woman. You too have to put in the effort and do all of the things promoted here (act feminine, be classy, etc). A gauge of whether or not you are high caliber, though, also has to do with your availability (or lack thereof). If a man feels l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 03:18 AM |
| 37 | Moving to Europe to find better matches?Taking the experience of men in a very small town and extrapolating it to mean men are the same throughout the US is... well, ignorant. Move where you wish, but I assure you that there are small town yokels in every country. Try the cities. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/18 02:00 PM |
| 7 | Terrible vacation my (22f) bf (25m)is pissedEh, they were dating just two months, I'd say that's within the timeframe of "being brought up very early." I've had a man tell me about his depression issues/therapy after intimacy and I just didn't see it as a big deal. She broached the topic terribly but I don't fault her for the timeline in which she announced the matter. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/18 03:18 PM |
| 24 | How to be a better wife while unwell in pregnancyI know we generally recommend self-improvement as the go-to strategy, but in this case I'd say let go of expectations that you need to do more and be more at this particular phase in your life. I think guilt that you're not doing more contributes to the feeling that you're not feeling like yourself. This creates a vicious cycle. It sounds like you're doing plenty, enough that your husband clearly loves and respects you just as you are today. This phase will pass. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/18 01:22 PM |
| 5 | Terrible vacation my (22f) bf (25m)is pissedI agree, hence me saying that it was bad timing. I thought about offering suggestions about what she should have said in lieu of bringing up her depression, but honestly, it sounds like this relationship may be better off dead in the water. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/18 12:04 PM |
| 36 | Terrible vacation my (22f) bf (25m)is pissedSince it sounds like he effectively broke up with you (isn't that what "doesn't want us to be exclusive anymore" means?), then I say let him go. You can't control dustiness and non-sandy beaches. You didn't steal his wallet. While maybe you could've planned better, it definitely seems like he's overreacting. Especially with out-of-line comments like, "I can't trust you not to ruin the next one." What an arse-like thing to say. I'm also not sure if the timing to bring up your depression was very … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/18 11:33 AM |
| 1 | One of the "good guys?"Everyone's got their own thresh hold that they're willing to tolerate from their SO. As others are saying, it's really your personal call. I personally would not be comfortable with my husband drinking that much per night. Reason being, I'd worry about a slippery slope to drinking even more, it being a gateway to harder substances, using it as a form of escapism from underlying ennui that should be rectified... but I say this because I know my husband personally. You know your spouse best. What … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/18 04:15 PM |
| 3 | Cleaning with my DemonsOh god if I could get notifications on what to clean/when, I'd be so happy. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/18 09:21 AM |
| 4 | Cleaning with my DemonsIf you have a lot of stuff, you're always going to have the feeling of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. This is because there's just not enough time in the day to look after all of the stuff you've got, from dusting, to maintenance, to ensuring it's in its proper place. Plus, once you're done tending to the obvious things in the house, there's little time for the deep cleaning like baseboards, taps, polishing the wooden furniture, etc. From my personal experience, a cluttered house will n… | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/18 09:21 AM |
| 7 | Not in the same stage of lifeIt's very likely that this dynamic will shift when you're, say, 26 and he's 30. At that time, he'll have to relinquish the power that comes from having a wide-eyed, "wow you know so much"-girlfriend to someone on more equal footing (as it relates to this boring grown up stuff that everyone learns through time: Taxes, investing, insurance, politics). Hopefully he does this with kindness. You'll come into your own. Question is whether or not you two will still be compatible as you naturally both g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/18 03:18 PM |
| 3 | Boyfriend lives with mum and she does everything for himI'd have him move in with friends first. He needs to learn independence, and my concern is that if he moves in with you then he's just going to expect you to substitute the actions of his mom (ie, laundry, getting coffee, cleaning up after him, making dinner, etc). I'd let him grow up a bit. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/18 03:00 PM |
| 8 | The past won't stay in the past./u/NationalMouse is closest on the mark, as I see it. Your guy is holding contact not necessarily because of love or wanting to be with her, but out of validation that he was in the right when it came to ending things. It's for his ego, basically. This topic has come up before on RPW and there have been a few success stories of women STUF'ing and letting the ex dig her own grave slowly. After all, they broke up for a reason. On the other hand, I'd say you're perfectly justified in requesting no … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/18 08:59 AM |
| 17 | Finding a community of RPWs?I'd say church would be the best environment, and this comes from someone who doesn't attend. | /r/RedPillWives | 11/07/18 05:00 PM |
| 3 | Gratitude: What are you thankful for?Omg that's adorable. I know we're not supposed to use that term for the actions of our manly men, but what he did is just too sweet for words. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/18 11:03 AM |
| 3 | Gratitude: What are you thankful for?Completely understand why you'd be reticent to get back on that horse! Harleys are powerful, too. I went straight from a Vespa to a Harley Nightster, and even that just felt like too much bike. Too many close calls (that weren't even my fault) gave me thought to stop, and then pregnancy just made the decision for me. Good on you for getting back into it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/18 11:02 AM |
| 19 | Dressing Yourself: A Starting PrimerI think this advice is pretty geo-specific and may not apply everywhere. For example, in LA there is a fantastic "look" to be had with jeans, white t-shirt, leather jacket, shades. I even think an athleisure look can be fashionable if you pair it with the right messy bun, black tights, flowy white t-shirt and a smart designer handbag. Throw in pops of femininity like ballet flats and quality hoop earrings. I think it's more womanly than those who throw on a frumpy dress and call it a day. I won'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/18 05:10 AM |
| 1 | Homemaking: Tips, Tricks & QuestionsBecome a planner! For ex, plan your Christmas in November. I thought this was a crazy notion and counter to "organically enjoying the spirit of Christmas," but I tried it and it made all the difference. We planned activities, gingerbread, tree, I got all the presents early (what a relief)... it was great. Plan vacations: activities, what to see/where, restaurants, etc. Before, I was a "show up and see what happens"-type person. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/07/18 02:10 AM |
| 1 | Homemaking: Tips, Tricks & QuestionsI liked Mari Kondo! That said, her entire book can be summed up in this TL;DR: "If you have excess stuff, get rid of it. Then keep it gone. Less stuff will result in an automatically tidier home." | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/07/18 02:02 AM |
| 27 | 'I hide my salary from my boyfriend' - BBC Three1) Don't lie about money. Ever. 2) Indirectly attributing the wage gap to women shrinking away from higher paying jobs so as not to belittle men is dumb and inaccurate. 3) Using the phrase "fragile egos" as it relates to a man being the breadwinner is not going to help the situation. All that said, women earning more does make for a tough dynamic. | /r/RedPillWives | 08/07/18 02:31 PM |
| 1 | Husband is exhausted and distant. Any advice?I'd give him space. Not as "punishment" but as a way to give him a breather from what sounds like a stressful period. I know you too are probably feeling stressed (as are most parents with toddlers), but it sounds like what he needs is just a quiet, peaceful place to decompress. Maybe send him off for a two-day vacation on his own while you hang out with your mom/toddler? Or, you go on your own trip, too? I personally gave my husband frequent "time off" when our kid was a newborn and I think it … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/18 09:04 AM |
| 3 | "I opened the fridge and shouted "I'LL MARRY THIS WOMAN"" - A quote from my man to me. TY ladies. Update inside.Here you go: https://snew.github.io/r/RedPillWomen/comments/8jngmp/looking_to_improve_my_cooking_expand_his_taste/ You deleted your original post, but I remember commenting. What surprised me about your update is that he's been so flexible with trying variations of your cooking. From your original post, I recall that it sounded like he refused to try anything new at all. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/18 08:41 AM |
| 23 | LDR Is calling all the time the wrong thing to do?There's no point in expecting him to call more often, since he won't. That said, I wouldn't take how frequently he calls as a gauge of how much he loves you. If he says he appreciates how often you call, then just take him at his word and continue talking with him at your own pace. If he thought you were calling too much, he probably wouldn't be picking up your calls. That said... just keep an eye out for any other possible signs that he may not be as interested in you as you are in him. If this… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/07/18 01:20 PM |
| 2 | From career to housewife?This is great advice. I would word this concern delicately (or not at all) if expressing it the husband, though, since he may perceive her as being unsupportive/in doubt of his abilities. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/07/18 12:19 PM |
| 6 | I’ve changed the dynamic and caused issues.Yeah, this is good advice not just for your marriage but the job market. It makes more sense to complete credentials around the same time as you're considering employment. Education has the possibility of growing stale if there's no work experience shortly after graduation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/07/18 12:16 PM |
| 0 | 1st year anniversary...who plans and what do?Direct is always good. Something like, "hey, our 1 year is coming up and I thought it would be great to do something special. How about a staycation at the beach? If I book and cover the accommodation would you be down picking the restaurants, or vice versa?" I think that's a fair split. Gifts... hmm, are you typically getting expensive gifts while he's not? There's a big diff between hundreds of dollars and tens of dollars. I'd readjust that by getting to his spending level. As to what to get, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/07/18 03:50 PM |
| 6 | Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living & Part-time WorkNot OP (and I hope she responds), but I'd consider dabbling for fun with wallstreetsurvivor.com since that'll give you a test run to see how well you'd do if you were betting actual money. Of course, that's not nearly as fun. The site also offers free (and paid) courses on how to evaluate companies and how to invest. It's a great resource. | /r/RedPillWives | 04/07/18 03:36 PM |
| 10 | Dating Strategy:- To care or not to care?I find value in playing hard-to-get: It's human nature to appreciate that which required hard work to obtain. We intrinsically appreciate that which needs a lot of effort to produce, from expensive things (money = time*labor) to credentials. Scarcity, then, often creates value. I don't find much difference in dating. If it's too easy to secure a commitment or for a man to get sex, they can undervalue the other person. This is not the same thing as lying, though--no matter how interested in sleep… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/07/18 01:04 PM |
| 2 | Advice on how to be organically feminine needed :)I'd say transition gradually. Conquer one thing at a time so you're not looking in the mirror unable to recognize yourself. It sounds like you know where you want to go which is the key thing. Good luck! | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/07/18 10:17 AM |
| 8 | "Why Men Love Bitches" - Thoughts and opinions?This exactly. This book is surprisingly RP and helped me have much better relationships in my early 20s. I'll be passing along a copy to my daughter when she's off to college. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/07/18 10:09 AM |
| 5 | "Why Men Love Bitches" - Thoughts and opinions?...you've not read the book. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/07/18 10:06 AM |
| 2 | How should I spend my new found free time?Yes, esp something related to her major. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/18 02:02 AM |
| 2 | Money in new relationships?I'd just say, "we're only going out next time if you let me cook for you at my place" or, "I'm only going to let you take me out to dinner next time if you let me get dessert at this great place I know." That can make you more comfortable. I personally would want to chip in and I found these little contributions to be the best way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/18 01:50 AM |
| 4 | PrenupsWith prenups, the important thing to remember is to cover yourself for when you're 55 and without a resume because you've been a SAHM. I was never afraid of divorce within the first 5 years of marriage because I was still marketable to employers and other men. But 25 years later... that's where the real risks come in. That's where you need to be cautious. This is something that needs to be considered carefully, and this is why alimony is a real thing. If you give your life and your career to thi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/18 01:44 AM |
| 1 | The Beginner's Guide To Building A Household BinderGreat idea! I have never heard of a household binder before, but it's brilliant. If anyone has more page/category ideas, I am all ears. Please teach me your ways, ladies. | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/18 04:38 PM |
| 8 | Advising your friends on RP because you see them struggle? How to help my good friendI would start advice as, "if it were me personally, I would ___." Preface everything as just being empathetic towards him, rather than saying that she's doing anything wrong. Sort of, "eh, he wants you to sleep with him more often, hard to fault him for that, right? For me personally, I sleep with my guy even when I'm super tired because I know that's important to him. It really helps our relationship." On the nagging, I'd just say something like, "you okay? I notice you can be pretty harsh on y… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/18 04:10 PM |
| 3 | Does your religion go well together with rp?I'm quasi-Buddhist and it goes surprisingly well. We believe expectation--or, attachment to expectation--is the root cause of suffering, so acceptance of the way things (and people) are is crucial to preserving one's own happiness. There is no changing others, except through one's own actions. State of being is relative and highly subjective. Happiness is a choice. Our judgment of others comes from our own personal beliefs about ourselves, so when we judge others it's a signal to check our own h… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/18 03:00 PM |
| 1 | Is there a way back?The only way to figure out if he's interested in a long-term relationship is to sever all ties with him and see if he comes knocking at your door. And even if he re-initiates, you don't just play hard to get but nearly impossible to get: You don't let him come over for sex, you meet in public and have somewhere to be in an hour's time. When he asks if you miss him, you shrug and say, "I've been really busy with other things, to be honest." When he talks about the past, you laugh lightly and chan… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/18 02:38 PM |
| 3 | Dating a guy with Aspergers and need adviceHe enjoys cuddling up with me while we watch a movie together. Granted, it took me 3 months to get him to cuddle, but he does it well now. He could very well end up the same way with sex (ie, you'll have to initiate it and get him to understand when/how you want it, but once he gets it, he will do it well). | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/18 02:22 PM |
| 1 | Let's Talk About Scrapbooking!I do it for my kid--I want her to look back at her childhood and know that I loved her enough to compile her most special milestones. I also think wives also have the role of being the family historian, and so even though I suck at it, I do it out of a sense of duty. I know our lives are just such a tiny strand in the tapestry of humanity. In the big scheme of things, we'll all be forgotten. But a scrapbook is just a small way to say my thanks for existing and saying "we were here." | /r/RedPillWives | 24/06/18 04:25 PM |
| 1 | Who inspires us?Independent of politics, Ivanka's awesome. She could've taken the easy Paris Hilton route but instead went to Wharton and became a mogul in her own rite. | /r/RedPillWives | 24/06/18 04:19 PM |
| 2 | Who inspires us?With a small handful of exceptions, (mostly raw) vegan women age incredibly. Mimi Kirk and Tonya Zavasta are other good examples. I hope I age half as well as they do. | /r/RedPillWives | 24/06/18 04:18 PM |
| 1 | Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living & Financial ManagementGood point on the baby food. I never understood the point of buying baby food, and here in India it doesn't even exist. There's no such thing--kids just eat the same stuff as the rest of the family; it's just mashed a bit more thoroughly. In fact, the entire baby economy is insane. Kids don't need the boatload of toys they use once. When I was pregnant my mother convinced/guilted me to set up a nursery with the crib, changing pad and table, the rocking cradle... none of it got used. The adage ab… | /r/RedPillWives | 24/06/18 04:01 PM |
| 6 | What’s the best date you’ve been on?I've done a dessert date at a super fancy resort, sort of late in the evening. It had a killer view of the city below but had this rustic, secluded feel. It was perfect for a conversation and really romantic. This wasn't the best date I had been on but it was definitely somewhere special. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/18 03:19 PM |
| 4 | Family DietsRight on! My husband's also a meat eater and I'm very, very vegan. We have our deal worked out where he eats whatever he wants at restaurants, but I do the grocery shopping and cooking at home. The meals I make are vegan, but he's always got some ready-made meals that are not in case he wants something else. I never get offended if he declines my cooking, but then he knows he's on his own for food (ie, I won't make him separate dishes). Our kid is vegetarian. She was vegan for the first two year… | /r/RedPillWives | 24/06/18 03:11 PM |
| 1 | I'm at a loss with dating.... how do I learn from my mistakes and proceed?or asking him to hold some cash in his wallet so it appeared he was paying for things. Oh gosh don't ever do this again. Even if you had the best of intentions, this is so emasculating. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/06/18 05:51 AM |
| 3 | I'm at a loss with dating.... how do I learn from my mistakes and proceed?Money still can't earn grades, entrepreneurial skills, and a classy attitude. You're not exactly being fair to OP when you diminish her accomplishments. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/06/18 05:48 AM |
| 3 | Marriage prep programs?I like watching Marriage Today. It's super religious and kinda campy: I feel like I should be living in a small town in the bible belt to fit in with the audience... but damn it delivers good relationship advice. It places a lot of personal accountability on the state of one's marriage and I think that's very important. It doesn't necessarily teach actionable skills as much as it is about adopting the best mentality conducive to a happy marriage. But that to me is half the battle. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/06/18 08:13 AM |
| 5 | I'm at a loss with dating.... how do I learn from my mistakes and proceed?Oh, and I know I wrote a novel already but I want to add one more thing: please be sensitive how spending outside of a boyfriend's league can make him feel very uncomfortable. You may hope that he is grateful and gets warm and fuzzies by getting whisked away to a 5* resort, but in his head, his stomach is churning because he's wondering if he should pick up a dinner bill that he can't afford as a way of being polite. You may get him a Burberry cashmere sweater for Christmas, and he's secretly dr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/06/18 07:39 AM |
| 4 | I'm at a loss with dating.... how do I learn from my mistakes and proceed?It's tricky because you self-sabotage from dating men of equal financial value (as you said, because of your low self-esteem) but then don't understand why you carrying the financial load for your ex gave him an inferiority complex. Is it possible that you're using your financial status to feel like you have the upper hand on whoever you date as a way of giving yourself emotional security (even at their expense)? I'm getting that vibe since you mentioned not dating a guy in your league. If so, t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/06/18 07:29 AM |
| 1 | Letting go of the hurt of rejection during pregnancyIt’s condescending to act like women don’t know this already- We know!! There's a big difference between knowing and not letting that info affect your self-esteem and self-worth with the marriage. I brought up what might seem obvious as a way to preface my advice about how to handle this issue. I'm honestly surprised anything I wrote could be construed as condescending, I think that part was a bit much given the totality of my comment. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/06/18 12:36 PM |
| 1 | Letting go of the hurt of rejection during pregnancyWe have no idea about the totality of her marriage. She's made one post. For you to use words like "horrible" and "tragedy" is to me, unproductive and hyperbolic. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/06/18 08:09 AM |
| 0 | Letting go of the hurt of rejection during pregnancyI think there's a degree of dissonance when it comes to a man's professed attraction. You put any 24-year-old picture in front of them alongside a 34-year-old of equal attraction (for their age) and he'll pick the former. But that equation flies out the window when it comes to desire for his own wife. Pretty sure that's called wife goggles around here. I know it's not easy given your current issue with your husband's sexual desire, but there has to come internal acceptance about knowing there ar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/06/18 05:47 AM |
| 15 | Dare To Be DomesticI like a lot of what you post, but I don't necessarily think political ideology re: taxation should be brought into it. Domestic women aren't all fiscally conservative (I'm not, anyway). Personally, I also don't like the way the govt spends tax dollars but I am not inherently opposed to higher taxation were it to go towards strengthening public schools, lowering the cost of universities or community collecges, social services (yes, welfare), healthcare, etc. Given the way the govt currently spen… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/06/18 05:18 AM |
| 6 | MIL goes on a rampage and I am at a lossAh, overbearing inlaws. A problem as old as millennia. I think every pregnant woman has been barraged with inane advice and insufferable suggestions. Everyone has a different idea about what's perfect when it comes to babies--there's no pleasing everyone. So on stuff like slings, what to eat, etc... in one ear, out the other. Not worth stressing. On the more important stuff like her staying, the first thing you have to do is get on the same page with your husband about expectations regarding his… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/06/18 10:14 AM |
| 2 | Is this normal in the US?It sounds like financial security is very important to you (understandably), and this guy can't offer you that. Not at this time, anyway. The timing of your love is pretty inconvenient more than anything. To fast track your relationship maybe he should pursue a 2-year trade at a community college: Low cost, good earnings at the end of it. He has to be on board with it though. Then after the first year you could move to CA with him while he finishes up. That might be the best compromise for you b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/06/18 06:07 AM |
| 8 | How to be the hostess with the mostest?I'm a "picky eater" (vegan) and the etiquette by which I prescribe is this: 1) I never assume there will be vegan stuff available. 2) If it's a long day and I know I'm going to get hungry, I bring a vegan dish. I thank the host for having me and say I just wanted to contribute a little something to the big day. 3) I eat beforehand if in doubt. Most people with similar diets/restrictions play by the above rules. So no, hostesses are not expected to cater to a single person's diet... for large gat… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/06/18 05:17 AM |
| 6 | What to do while he's away?Others are making great suggestions about self-improvement. I recommend getting a one-year planner: by the end of it, you know you'll be back with your guy and you can fill it with any number of things you've achieved. Planners are a great way to show the finite nature of time. You can plan things like... --A roadtrip every weekend in which you explore a new destination. --A new meetup group in which you expose yourself to any number of things they have, from a meditation healing sound group, ro… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/18 07:56 AM |
| 1 | Thoughts on this commercial?Yikes. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/18 05:15 PM |
| 1 | Online dating has a problem when the most feminine and attractive woman in the area is a transwoman.Oooh, thanks! I like pretty shiny things! | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/18 05:04 PM |
| 5 | Online dating has a problem when the most feminine and attractive woman in the area is a transwoman.I come from a city known for gorgeous women who are far more put together than myself, so there's no way I could undergo this exercise. Thankfully I'm removed from the dating pool. But I also don't see the point of this exercise for any city. Men like different kinds of women, and I think we should only be competing with ourselves. I want to be the best version of me possible; not the best in all of my city, because that's just not possible. Taste is too subjective. Plus, I think there's far too… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/18 11:56 AM |
| 17 | How to handle financial difficulties in a fairly new relationship?For me personally, 7 months would be too soon to intermingle finances/ask for money (exception being if you're married, have kids, or you two already live together... and it's pretty early for any of those, too). | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/18 11:44 AM |
| 1 | Expressing Feelings - A Summary from Couple SkillsI think one of the most important thing for people to learn is to take ownership/responsibility for their feelings. I see far too many unhappy people expecting their SO to fix their malaise and it never works. The upset spouse then has the tendency to try to drag their SO down, perhaps out of guilt that they feel upset but the other doesn't. Misery loves company and all that. I generally don't lead conversations with "I feel." In fact, I keep my emotions out of talks. I generally just cut to the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/18 05:23 AM |
| 16 | Father's DayIt really saddened me how the top posts on Reddit were about unconventional dads: stepdads, growing up without one, non-biological men filling to role... I resonate and empathize, but it still struck me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/18 05:03 AM |
| 5 | When your captain can't drive (literally)?You know yourself best, then. It's hard to say what you should do: it'd be about as difficult changing your viewpoint on this as it is to have him change the way he drives. Being uncomfortable with another's driving is ultimately a personal thing--I know I can't stand my sibling's driving, but others are totally fine with it. Might it be possible that you do the driving as a way of keeping the peace? | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/18 03:40 PM |
| 6 | When your captain can't drive (literally)?I'm a very defensive driver I have been ever since I had a boyfriend die in an accident in hs. This... is probably a bigger deal than his driving skills. Are you sure this isn't coloring your perception of his driving? | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/18 03:10 PM |
| 2 | Hurt by husband: Where to go from here?He then completely disengages and tells me that I have ruined it as always. This is really messed up and super disrespectful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/18 04:57 AM |
| 5 | Tattoos from my previous SJW life...$6,000 is so spendy! Have you thought about medical tourism? In my current country (India) it's no more than $130 per session, and it sounds like you'll need 3 sessions or so. I'd seriously think about taking a fun trip overseas--this is esp true if you currently don't have kids. Many places are a good bet: India, Thailand, Bali, Mexico... and these countries have incredibly safe, competent people with good FDA-certified machinery. You don't even have to go to some sketch back alley place. For c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/18 04:48 AM |
| 12 | Second date advice!!I find being explicit early on as the best approach, and sticking with it so he doesn't think you're a tease. Just be like, "I'm clearly attracted to you, but I don't want you to get the wrong idea given the other night. I normally like to take it slow until I'm committed to a guy, so I hope you're going to be okay with that." | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/06/18 09:34 AM |
| 27 | You thoughts on "The case for settling for Mr.Good Enough"I think settling for "good enough" should be only for women who are too picky to begin with. I think we all know examples of such ladies. Most women here (myself included) will probably feel like they married up because we consciously try adopting a grateful, optimistic attitude about love and our relationships. But I do remember dating a guy who at first, I was not physically attracted to. Then his attitude and all other traits made him ultimately irresistible. In the end we broke up for reason… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/06/18 09:22 AM |
| 3 | I want to love my man's parents...but they bore me to death.I'd suggest setting a personal limit as to how often you spend time with them. Maybe once a week-ish. Your boyfriend can (and should) enjoy their company, but you? Nah, not necessary. You can just tell your bf that you think his parents are wonderful but you're just a little busy. Think about it from the other way around: do you expect your boyfriend to attend all of your family stuff? Probably not. So, don't feel bad that you're not as into his family as he is. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/18 12:12 PM |
| 2 | Boyfriend of 8 months feels disrespected...Based on what appears to be an extreme reaction with the package, it's either a) he's hyper controlling, or b) there are underlying issues and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Giving him the benefit of the doubt that it's B and you want to try and make him happier, let him know: "hey, I thought about what you said and I'm sorry. I'm going to try harder to listen to you and implement your advice, because I respect what you have to say and I trust your judgment." Then, work on activ… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/18 11:56 AM |
| 18 | How to channel more feminine energy on dates?I'd say learn to ask questions and really listen. Women have the tendency of talking so much, very loudly. It makes a guy feel exhausted at the end of the date. Instead, ask questions in a positive way: comment, then question. Comment, question. I'd try managing this in a way that comes across as genuine interest rather than being in front of a firing squad getting grilled. Keep it light and fun. For example, if he says he has two older brothers, say, "I wish I had that experience sometimes--wha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/18 11:45 AM |
| 12 | Insecurity and body dysmorphiaI think it helps remembering that if you're in a LTR, then he's already just fine with the way you look. That doesn't mean you shouldn't put in any effort, but that you already meet his bench markers for physical attraction. Otherwise, he wouldn't be with you. Also, beauty is subjective: By that, I mean some people think Angelina Jolie is the epitome of beauty while others prefer a more girl-next-door look. Some think Krysten Ritter is the most beautiful woman in the world while others have said… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/18 04:52 PM |
| 35 | I'm not really sure how to phrase this question so I guess I'll just ask for feedback on my situation.Him being so risk-averse is unfortunately having you make some incredibly big risks on your own. The risk is that he will unceremoniously dump you in your mid-30s and you will have nothing of what you desired: no marriage, no kids, and apparently not a solid career. Or, if you end up adopting and because it's only his name, then you will have zero custody rights and your kid gets taken, too. For as accommodating as you are about gynocentrism and family courts, there also exists the reality of wo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/18 04:35 PM |
| 40 | How do you find your own personal best as far as looks are concerned?I'm too crunchy granola to even go for fillers, let alone more invasive. To me, there is no, "but then what?" after diet, exercise, makeup and skincare. My regiments are enough to make me feel happy every day and enough for my spouse to keep calling me beautiful. I also firmly believe older women can look lovely. When I'm 50 I don't really want to try to "keep looking youthful." My usual 19 BMI, yes; my love of eating healthy, yes; retaining a sense of style, yes; maintaining a zest for life and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/18 07:11 AM |
| 1 | Please help- RPW approach to helping my partner budget...?Are you guys married? If not, it might be best to stay out of his spending habits, for now. But it's very fair to figure out if you two are financially compatible in the meanwhile. As I'm sure you know, fights over money are a common cause of divorce. Have you guys had talks about the future and who will handle what financially? There's not really a right way to handle finances: Some prefer a joint account where the more fiscally responsible spouse handles the money, while others prefer to keep … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/18 12:36 PM |
| 11 | Not college, not career... what else?I upvoted you, but to be fair... many blue collar workers earn enough to have a homeschooling SAM. Not all of them will be interested in sophisticated, worldly, traveled, articulate women who know how to hold cocktail parties. Some would hear that description of a woman and assume she's a high-maintenance snob. Everybody's got their preferences. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/18 12:20 PM |
| 3 | tips on decorating a couple's apt/houseMy walls have been bare for literally three years because of this mantra, unfortunately. We've found our venn diagram of acceptable art, but I've been so bad about getting it framed. Part of it's just so damn expensive. We have big walls and high ceilings and I'm just not looking forward to the $1,000+ outlay for all of the art. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/18 03:07 AM |
| 2 | tips on decorating a couple's apt/houseHouzz is good, too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/18 03:05 AM |
| 1 | tips on decorating a couple's apt/houseBlack and white/sepia photos of places you two have been? Or even want to go. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/18 03:05 AM |
| 2 | Splitting household chores?kon mari-ing. Housecleaning is a lot easier when you have less stuff. Marie Kondo is fabulous. The only reason my home is able to look legit clean is because I spend almost no time on sorting and putting stuff away, and more time on deep cleaning like floor scrubbing, windows, taps, etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/18 02:08 PM |
| 6 | Views of men with mental disorders?You awful self centred women demanding perfection in your men will be alone for a long long time because spoiler alert - the perfect person doesn't exist. lol, no. Everyone is permitted to have a list of dealbreakers. You can manage with an SO who has depression, and that's great. I couldn't, though--it'd be too hard. On the other hand, you might see my husband's bag of flaws and think, "nope, not in a million years." And that's perfectly fine too. And it's the same if we reverse the genders in … | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/18 12:10 PM |
| 1 | Want to use red pill in this situationOthers commenting that the dude's a mess are right. I'd just say, "alright, best of luck to you. Hope it all works out with the online woman." And... that's it. Done. I believe that the RP concept of holding frame absolutely works for women, too, esp when men are trying to pull women into silly drama. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/06/18 05:58 AM |
| 1 | Advice for soon-to-be single mom?I hope things have gotten better for you in the 7 days since you've posted this. Everyone preaching trade school is spot-on. Student loans and its subsequent debt aren't ever easy, but they're a lifesaver for those in your situation: Take all the loans you can right now to get a good lucrative education under your belt, and then get familiar with all of the govt assistance programs. Don't go anywhere with anyone that may endanger your baby's welfare--that includes SOs and close family members. M… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/06/18 05:55 AM |
| 4 | What to do when you can’t go along with the fetish?Why shoudln't she judge, he's not her husband. Last I checked she still cares about him. Being nonjudgmental with those we care about is the single best way to understand where the other is coming from, which is crucial to getting past issues. In addition, nobody wants to be judged by the people with whom they're intimate for their sexual desires. It can shut down any chance of vulnerability. How would you feel if your SO called it a gross fetish for any outside-the-box bedroom activity? You'd f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/18 04:54 AM |
| 15 | What to do when you can’t go along with the fetish?First, I wouldn't let him know you think his fetish is "weird" or "gross." That will shut him down from sharing with you, and you don't want that. Even if you don't agree (assuming his fetishes aren't illegal), then you still want him to come to you with his thoughts/desires. That said, you can make it clear that you don't share that fetish, and if you won't indulge it, explain that it's not something you'll share with him--state that he will have to partake in that fetish singlehandedly (har ha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/18 02:56 AM |
| 42 | Plucked from AskTRPYeah, but now the second part of the equation is hoping he's a good captain. Exclusivity is just one component of the vetting process, albeit a crucial one. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/18 02:45 AM |
| 1 | Placeholder GirlfriendJust the very idea of a placeholder indicates that she's subpar: the guy's waiting until something (most likely someone) better comes along. If it's something--like moving out of the state--then being a placeholder is understandable. If everyone's okay with the upfront terms and conditions of this being a temporary fling, so be it. But being a time pass until his Ms. Right comes along? Hell no. As people have said, time is a woman's currency. Thankfully I think it's pretty easy to discern if you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/18 02:42 AM |
| 32 | He has access to endless free sex....what am I getting out of this?Relationships are all about negotiating. If you don't want to have sex that often, then make it clear you can't/won't. Specify how often you can, and let the chips fall where they may. I imagine very few women could satisfy that libido and he knows it. Just be sure to stick with the revised limit because otherwise, he'll become concerned that you pulling back will lead to a slippery slope of little to no sex. On the second point, you probably shouldn't explicitly state it's becoming too expensiv… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/18 05:58 AM |
| 3 | Back to the basics - SMVthat's not what they do it for. A huge part of fashion is targeting the female social matrix. Yep. And sometimes women make unpopular choices because it makes them happy. They accept the tradeoff that even though it may make them less desirable in a man's eyes, they are happier about themselves when they look in the mirror. I love TRPWomen, but (controversial opinion incoming) feminists have a point when they highlight so many discussions have the default as a woman's actions being targeted to m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/18 07:43 AM |
| 7 | Emotional laborI agree with the author that these are the dynamics that go on in a relationship: women carry more of the mental (thus translating to physical) load, and the double burden is real. But you know... men have a mental load of their own. Not all do, just as not all women have the burden of keeping track of all the household obligations. But in general, men have to think about what happens when the car breaks down, how they're going to pay for ever-expensive extracurriculars, if they're going to get … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/18 05:52 AM |
| 13 | A Rule Update - "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself"Get more excited and busy with your own life, is probably the best advice I can give. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/18 02:37 PM |
| 5 | Advice needed: Am I wrong to want more say in making decisions?Oh good, because him being condescending would really be the only indicator that he doesn't respect who you are as a person. That would be a whole other mess to unpack. If he's just being type A, then I truly think he'd be willing to learn how to accept/incorporate your views. It's your job, then, learn to communicate that effectively and get him on board if he's willing. The good thing is, this is coming across as a communication issue rather than a "he doesn't respect me or my views" situation… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/18 04:13 AM |
| 11 | Advice needed: Am I wrong to want more say in making decisions?This is a conversation best had when both of you are feeling great, not fighting, and in an open state of mind: like a date night, for example. I'd be very explicit, but kind. Something like, "hey, could you do me a favor? When we fight, I feel like my perspective isn't acknowledged sometimes. If I bring it up, I'm not asking for you to say I'm right, or wrong, I just want you to take it in. During conflict if I say, "can you acknowledge x" it would mean a lot to me for you to just say "yes." Yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/18 03:59 AM |
| 11 | A Rule Update - "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself"Best advice ever. And it's not at all the same thing as being expected to put up with a bunch of crap, or accept a raw deal, either. One has a variety of options including: leaving, caring more, and caring less. One's own behavior in turn affects his, and the advice given here can help determine how one's own actions will affect his behavior. But yes, the reaction has to come from within first and foremost. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/18 03:40 AM |
| 3 | Modern women choosing traditional masculinity.these women will have to appreciate masculine personality traits Again, though, this is like claiming that men will have to appreciate women who are overweight because they'll realize it's more and more difficult to find a thinner woman due to the rise in obesity. Just because men may have to settle for that just because the trend reveals it's harder to find thinner women, this doesn't mean they want that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/18 03:22 PM |
| 1 | Modern women choosing traditional masculinityHigher status doesn't necessarily mean income. lol, this is like women claiming hotness doesn't necessarily mean thinness. While it can be true, sometimes, it's just not in most cases. And just as women shouldn't try to say, "but curvy is beautiful!" and expect men to get on board, men also shouldn't think social dominance can be a substitute to high income and that women will gravitate towards it. Nope. Women want providers, and the higher the income the better. Harsh truths apply to both gende… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/18 07:04 AM |
| 1 | Modern women choosing traditional masculinityI completely agree that these women (educated, white collar jobs) are likely dating down (to men who are manly, but not as well paid or educated). My group of friends consists almost entirely of well-educated women. When they list who they want to date, they want men of equal or higher standing in education/pay. And this makes sense. I think the equivalent of what the OP is claiming is saying "high paid men aren't prioritizing hotness, but rather their cooking skills." No, ideally they want a ho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/18 06:59 AM |
| 4 | Why can’t I attract the guys I want)If her problem was getting pumped and dumped, personality would be the fix. These guys are friend zoning her...and I can assure you it is not because of her attitude. Stone cold truth right here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/18 06:53 AM |
| 1 | HELP! I'm young and recently heartbroken, not able to understand how to continue forming LTR relationships now. What to do?Yikes, sorry to hear this. It's a common trajectory of online/LDRs, because one goes from only having to give 10% to the relationship (by virtue of distance) to promising 100% (by moving in together after living apart, spending all day together after not meeting for a long time, etc). He got a taste of the 100% and realized it wasn't for him. Perhaps it's because things had to escalate too quickly, and he saw he wasn't ready for this intense degree of commitment he initially promised you. Then, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/18 06:42 AM |
| 1 | New boyfriend seems obsessed with sexWhen it comes to libido there's no "good" or "bad" with regards to quantity--sure, there can be issues if the origin is problematic (like trauma resulting in low libido) or if the lust isn't channeled correctly (porn addiction)... but him wanting it all the time isn't inherently good or bad. Just something to think about before you use words like "disturbed." As /u/noheaking mentioned, it's just a matter of you both not being on the same page re: frequency. But communication and compromise can f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/18 03:41 AM |
| 1 | Improving communicationDo you guys close off when you fight about stupid stuff, and then both of you are too prideful to talk it out? Do you even like to talk it out? (I personally hate it and just like moving on). If it's petty things and you just want to move on, then I'd make a code word that really just means, "truce? I was dumb, you were dumb, let's move on." Like... you're both being sullen and one of you can walk by and say, "pepper fries?" If the other affirms "pepper fries" then guess what, all is forgiven. N… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/05/18 09:37 AM |
| 6 | Am I welcome here as a trans woman?I don't really agree with his assessment about alphas not going for trans women, if only because there are many men who express traditional values... but are also gay themselves. Personal preferences can be a peculiar, contradictory mash of things. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/18 06:22 AM |
| 6 | I'm an ugly woman. Im trying my best to look my best as possible but I don't see much difference even when it try. Its making me very depressed and now just wondering how I can cope with my fate as being an unattractive female?I'd upvote this five times if I could. The intensity with which the OP is describing her perceived flaws makes me wonder if this isn't just a giant bundle of insecurity. My guess is the OP could do all of the practical beauty regimes described by the women herein and it wouldn't make a dent on her self-esteem. To change that, to genuinely feel better about herself, then I think /u/chief-w's advice is spot on: find a purpose larger than herself. At the very least, start admiring the physical thin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/18 05:48 AM |
| 1 | Looking to improve my cooking / expand his taste?that starts with her putting her foot down on a part of their life which she is supposed to have control over. Nobody gets to have control over part of another's life if that's not what they want for himself/herself. In this case, if he doesn't want her cooking, that's his call to make. He shouldn't be forced to eat her food. On the other hand, this definitely means he should be expected to feed himself or be ready to do so. I think there's a compromise somewhere in here, but the essential quest… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/18 06:10 PM |
| 1 | Looking to improve my cooking / expand his taste?Is it possible to just give him ready-made meals that he likes, while you cook for the stuff you enjoy? It's unfortunate that he may never appreciate your cooking, but compromising would also make everyone's life easier if the goal is to get everyone fed and happy. I can relate to you because my husband and I are diametrically different eaters--he is a love-everything meat eater, and I'm vegan. The end result is that I cook vegan, but shop at places like Trader Joe's and pick up a bunch of meat-… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/18 06:03 PM |
| 16 | Back to the basics - are women capable of love?No, no and no. There's a lot of loathing in this, along with woeful generalities taken to the extreme.Yes, women and men are yin and yang... but to generalize women and the way we love as "turbulent, unsteady and unbalanced" is, to me, a crock. This ignores that of both genders, men are arguably more impulsive, and prone to outbursts of anger owing to their higher testosterone levels. This isn't all too different from women being sad around their menstrual cycles. Women are more emotional more o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/18 07:49 AM |
| 11 | I offer to pay and end up paying a lot (go figure...)I always said, "may I help with the bill?" Once things got rolling I'd either say, "we're only meeting up again if you let me grab the next dinner, I know the best spot" or, "if I can cook for you at my/your place." But initially, it's his to get. If there's no buildup to the first date that justifies a nice restaurant (many emails, calls, texts, knowing each other prior, etc), then we settle for a first date at a coffeeshop in which we both grab our own drink depending who arrives first. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/18 04:33 AM |
| 9 | How To Add ValueOther women are going to offer great advice on what you can do personally to make yourself attractive to this guy. But I'll also add this: The secret is that you don't really need him, either--you got your bills paid, you have friends, family, can get sex, you can cook your own meals and keep a clean house. You could excel professionally if you wanted. But yet, you want him. Because you want love and companionship, a life partner, a family, kids, etc. Many men--I'd say most--want these things, t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/05/18 05:56 AM |
| 26 | The "nice girl" vs the "nice guy"I really wish the word "nice" was replaced with "doormat" for this quote, because that's really more accurate for both genders. A girl isn't "nice" if she texts him incessantly... she's being a doormat. A girl isn't nice if she cancels all of her plans to spend time with a guy... she's being a doormat. Buying him tickets to the Bahamas when he only gets her a used book? Not nice--doormat. And when she completely overhauls her style to match what he likes? Doormat again. And yet, when he dumps he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/18 04:17 PM |
| 4 | Big Brother versus Partner - what would you do?I don't think any of us here can answer if your brother's concerns are warranted or not. What is clear is that you're going to go ahead with your life and that includes marrying your boyfriend, as is your right. My advice? Don't shut out your family. Make it clear that you love them always, and your phone/email/chat is open to them. If your fiance ever gets upset with you for not choosing him, explain that you are in that you're moving around the world to be with him and you're marrying him. You… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/18 05:23 AM |
| 35 | New relationship adviceWhy are you even mentioning your relationship with Sam? You're with Oliver. You don't get to mash the two personalities of two separate people. This said, I'm gonna really hope you closed the chapter gracefully with Sam--who appeared to have feelings for you--before moving on to Oliver. I dunno. I see it as a red flag that he just swooped in and took his friend's romantic interest. Most upstanding guys show a little more loyalty to their friends. I'm not sure how this affects your relationship p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 03:45 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?Gratitude journals are awesome. I try to do a daily gratitude practice and it sets my day's trajectory in a great way. Highly recommended. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 05:56 AM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?I'd check your own house. I get naggy when things in my own life aren't as under control as I'd like. In sum, I nag for reasons that have very, very little to do with my spouse's behavior. Just recognizing this has helped me STFU and deal with my own shit first. My husband could be doing the exact same things, but if my life is going great, I'm doing fulfilling stuff and I have a lot on my plate, I never nag. I think you may notice similar correlations. I'd just pay attention to your mental stat… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 04:51 AM |
| 9 | I can't seem to get commitment before sexJust to play devil's advocate, isn't asking for monogamy before sex (rather than saying "I'm looking to have a family") essentially also trying to "lock him down"? This is why you don't ask for monogamy before sex. You explain upfront it's a condition for dating you. Guys either accept it or they don't, hence, it's not trying to lock down a particular guy. Do guys commit to women before they're ready? Nope. And women are willing to take their time and give them their space if they're quality. Me… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 02:56 AM |
| 32 | I can't seem to get commitment before sexAgain, I think it might come across that you're trying to get serious with him personally way too fast (thus scaring him away), rather than explaining your holding out on sex for commitment as a core part of your identity. I definitely would avoid saying "I'm looking to have a family." That uh, should be pretty obvious. Most women are looking to have a family, no? I guarantee he hears that and thinks you're trying to lock him down in the next month. True or not, I think that's what's causing a l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 05:15 PM |
| 5 | What’s a practical life path for a young RPW?Any chance of offering music lessons for kids? At the very least I'd start volunteering at any music-based non profits in your city. Many opt to hire their most dedicated volunteers at the first (otherwise competitive) job opening. If music lessons and volunteering don't pay the bills, take a crappy job to make ends meet while doing both. Any guy you meet will be impressed at your passion towards the things you love, and your grit to hold your own financially. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 05:03 PM |
| 78 | What do you think it means to be a Red Pill Woman?To me, it's two fold: 1) It means becoming a better person in ways that will make me a better wife: practicing gratitude, empathy, humility, selflessness, patience, etc. 2) It means maintaining consistent vigilance over the health and well-being of my marriage. There are exceptionally few resources available for maintaining a quality marriage: most are about what to do when things have already gone off the deep end. Being a RPW means accepting that marriage is a job unto itself. It's a garden th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 04:53 PM |
| 47 | I can't seem to get commitment before sexMaybe you just need to change the way you broach the topic? For example, if you're explaining that you're not going to sleep with a guy unless he commits while his hand is trying to unbutton your pants, then you come across as a game-playing tease who uses sex as a weapon to get her way. On the other hand, it may help to broach the topic very, very early on. Explain that you've been considered a prude before but that it's important that who you date respects that you don't put out until you're i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 04:20 PM |
| 10 | TRP & PregnancyJust a heads up that newborns definitely strain a marriage. I know you intuit this, and I'm also just gonna hammer the point home. I recall hearing some stat that marital satisfaction is at its lowest for the first couple years of a baby's life, and my own experience reflects this as well. My husband and I are solid as can be, but there was definitely a dip in happiness. Part of the difficulty arises because instead of you being able to focus on the needs of your husband, there's this tiny littl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 12:14 PM |
| 6 | How to get my husband to let me be a homemaker?As a pretty ambitious career woman, is it likely that I’d get bored quickly just taking care of a house? Only you know the answer to this! Assuming the husband gets on board, it's all the more reason to give it a test run. I think your entrepreneurial skills only help you, though, because running a home is kinda the same: you're your own boss, you have to meet high standards that you set, and the validation you'll get has to come from within (as opposed to seeing the dollars and cents rolling in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 05:18 AM |
| 7 | Acting feminine in high school: Any advice?Old classic movies are another good one. 1950s Hepburn all the way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 03:37 AM |
| 6 | How to get my husband to let me be a homemaker?Are kids on the table at any point in the future? It's worth revisiting the conversation when that becomes more of a likelihood. For starters, the workload will be heavier and easier to justify why you should stay home all day. Secondly, there is the real opportunity cost with daycare--esp the financial cost, which can be significant. You're very smart to be building up those passive income streams now, too. If his hesitation is about the money, then that'll go a long way. It may help to try the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 03:35 AM |
| 3 | Are mean jokes considered disrespectful?Mean jokes in front of family and friends are, to me, disrespectful no matter the intentions. Personally speaking... in public, I will always treat my husband like he's the light of my world who can do no wrong. If either of us do/say something the other doesn't like or appreciate, we wait until we're in private to address it. This works for us. On the other hand, I think good natured ribbing is absolutely okay when it's just the two of you. Even then, I'd be mindful of the subject. For example,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 01:08 PM |
| 11 | How to avoid coming on too strong?I'd read the book, "Why Men Love Bitches." Ignore the title, its primary message is to get you to fully love and accept yourself, which in turn helps you adopt successful vetting techniques. Because the behavior you're describing comes across as needy, desperate, and insecure. It helps to ask yourself if you are, in fact, acting from a needy and insecure place. If you are, then spending time building your own inner worth is what you should be doing. It may help to know that men like the hunt and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 09:11 AM |
| 2 | What does RPW think about social status in terms of our value?B) the more likely she will come from a background that encourages her to appreciate what it take to create and keep that wealth and the importance of maintaining it for future generations. Not necessarily. I married into money after growing up poor. My spouse has wealthy friends who married equally well-off women. What I observe is thus: their maintenance is much costlier than mine, as I grew up wanting very little (especially in terms of clothes, jewelry, etc). Also, those from the middle clas… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 05:17 AM |
| 7 | What has been your experience with men who ask you about sexual details and N-count?This won't be a popular answer, but none of the men I've dated long term have cared about my n count when shared. I also look at some of my longest and most meaningful relationships and do not find a significant correlation between the time I waited for sex, and the length/depth of the relationship. In fact, one of my most important relationships happened after what I presumed was going to be a one night stand between us. On another occasion, when I shared with my then-boyfriend, he didn't bat a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 05:06 AM |
| 2 | Expensive Gift-Giving?Without the sugar any request comes across as a demand instead, though. I find it's always best prefacing requests as "it will make me so happy" and explain you're willing to reciprocate. Because any whiff of demanding it, he'll do the opposite as a way of showing he won't be controlled by you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 04:36 AM |
| 9 | Expensive Gift-Giving?I've definitely expressed I prefer experiences over things, we've gone on a few trips together, etc. but I actually want something tangible, even if it's small or inexpensive, but has thought put into it. Given that you expressed preferences for experiences over things, it's not too surprising that he hasn't gotten you anything. Over date night or any time you're having a state of the relationship address, I'd talk about the love languages and how you realize you do best with gifts. Say somethin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/18 04:19 PM |
| 21 | What does RPW think about social status in terms of our value?From what I've seen, men care less about a woman's social status than the other way around. What matters more is that a woman knows how to conduct herself with class and dignity among people from all walks of life not just those at the upper echelon. I'd also say that charity/volunteering/nonprofit work trumps the traditional high social status activities of country clubs and things like museum board associations. Then again, this is just from my personal experience: I married a guy waaaay above… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/18 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Back to the basics - the creation of TRPWhat do you mean by "authority?" To do what? What do you mean by "responsibility?" In what context? My point isn't to debate but you're using subjective terms with no citations, so I don't find your statements very clear. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/18 01:27 PM |
| 15 | Back to the basics - the creation of TRPGo back to before the industrial revolution and life was brutal and short. Poverty, starvation and serfdom were a way of life for most people. No one had rights, everyone had responsibility. Responsibility to your parents, your spouse, your children, your community and God. War and disease were real, ever present dangers that could strike at any moment. In this context, the man was in charge of his family. He had to be, his wife needed him to be, his children needed him to be and his elderly par… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/18 04:52 AM |
| 2 | Advice on serving large number of guests (15+)?I always end up WAY over cooking when I have that many people. I cook for 40 somehow. Hah, me too... so then, tip #2 is to cook food that makes killer leftovers. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/18 04:34 AM |
| 1 | How to explain lack of dating experience?Definitely not on the first date, though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/18 02:38 PM |
| 3 | Relationship Update: Is this break BS or what?Oh yikes, this is a bit of a mess, I'm sorry you're going through this. If what you want is to get back together with him, then in order to stand a chance, you've gotta respect his requests. No contact. As hard as this may be for you, you can't talk your way into changing his mind on this one. The best you can do is handle this like a grown, classy lady. What I personally would do is ask him for one last lunch or coffee--the key is that it's in a public place so he knows there won't be an emotio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 05:22 PM |
| 6 | On Makeup and LTRsI'm starting to feel dependent on makeup again, which I don't want. I know exactly what you mean! I never wore makeup out of this exact concern. When I wore it for a special event my husband said, "You look so nice, I wish you'd wear it more often." My response was, "but if I did, it'd become the new normal and you wouldn't say I looked nice anymore; rather, you'd start saying that I looked tired if I didn't wear makeup." Well, I started the no makeup look for him on the regular. Thankfully, he … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 09:41 AM |
| – | Simple QuestionsI think the "Mr. Good Enough" has to do with setting realistic expectations, especially when many women aim way too high. One of my best friends is one such woman: she's a doctor, 35, and prob a 6-7 on the scale of 1 to 10. Her dealbreakers limit the size of the eligible men considerably, such as their earning power being the same as hers. She also has ridiculous qualifiers, such as, "he drinks Yoohoos for lunch. How could I possibly be with a guy who drinks that?" (This is a random example, but… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 09:34 AM |
| 5 | On Makeup and LTRsI think it’s always a good idea to invest in your own natural beauty. This is truth! Drinking 3 liters of water a day will do more to improve fine lines than any makeup/botox. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 09:15 AM |
| 2 | UPDATE: Need help to break never ending cycle that get's me no where. Spoiler Alert- my personality plays a huge roleI was a debater in high school, so I know the shit testing of which you speak. I pushed guys constantly by back-and-forth bantering that, in hindsight, came off as insecurity with me screaming, "please like me because look how smart I am!" Every time I'd test a guy to see if he was good enough, it in turn was really just me expressing insecurity that I wasn't good enough. The smartest, most worthy people I know are the quietest about their accomplishments. For example: my spouse is an Ivy grad, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 08:58 AM |
| 14 | On Makeup and LTRsMy personal happy medium is mastering the "no makeup"-makeup look: nothing caked on, and I feel like when my makeup is off, it's not such a deviation from how I look with it on. Makeup enhances my appearance but I definitely don't use it as a crutch or mask. But really, I think guys know that women are going to look different with/without makeup. They'll love us just the same, just like we know and love men when they are dressed up for work and still do when they're dressed down in sweats. It's … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 08:21 AM |
| 3 | How do I demonstrate red pill while staying at his parents?I think small gifts are fine as a way of saying "thanks for having me in your home." What would be my point of focus is talking well about your SO, or, their son/brother. My jaw hits the floor when I hear wives talk negatively about their husband to their own family, in public. I constantly compliment his family about the way they raised him, how good of a human being he is, his valuable traits, etc. If I commiserate with them about one of his less-than-great traits (like him not keeping his tim… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 04:29 AM |
| 4 | Excuse the language, but I am fucking up. How do you maintain a happy/health relationship when you are not currently happy or emotionally healthy?Nonsense! If she stays as is, her relationship is guaranteed to become miserable for him and will likely fall apart. She has to change drastically. You misunderstood my point. He already appreciates who she is, otherwise he wouldn't be with her in the first place. Yes, she needs to change her behavior. But I firmly believe it'll be easier for her to change if she can accept that she is presently loved by her guy instead of needing to become the idealized version she has in her head. That accepta… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 03:04 AM |
| 30 | Excuse the language, but I am fucking up. How do you maintain a happy/health relationship when you are not currently happy or emotionally healthy?It's really good that you want to improve yourself and be your best possible version. On the other hand, I think you're placing a rather unrealistic image on a pedestal and beating yourself up when you don't live up to that image. This in turn is leading to more of what you don't want: self loathing, negativity, panic, etc. That idealized version of yourself exists, but what might help to know is that your guy isn't waiting for you to become that person. He's wanting to enjoy you just as you are… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Seriously concerned about my relationship? [change in dynamic) 26F & 29MSounds like she's done everything she could to alleviate his concerns in just about every other way. She's done the empathetic approach, and had she not, this statement would not have been my first suggestion. Letting him know the effects of his behavior on her attraction is not at all shooing away his feeling. Such candid conversations should be had--I'm always grateful when my spouse gives me a heads up that my behavior is unattractive rather than pussyfooting around it. This can be done gentl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 03:41 PM |
| 3 | Back to the basics - hypergamy.the sub called datingoverthirty and you'll find many women who are getting desperate Oh wow. That's some painful reading. Their sub is the half-empty and I like here because it's the half-full outlook. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 10:45 AM |
| 6 | Back to the basics - hypergamy.It's a trope that a man's mistress thinks he'll leave his wife when everyone around her knows that isn't the case. That reminds me of the adage that women cheat to leave a marriage, men cheat to stay in it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 10:30 AM |
| 2 | Using a Mantra to STFUJust say thanks. Raised by a single working mom, I grew up to never accept the help of a man. I thought it would be perceived as weak and that a guy would think less of me if I couldn't haul groceries, open my own door, and hold an equal level career. I since married a fantastic husband who goes out of his way to do every little thing for me, from opening the door to charging my phone to bringing my computer in for repairs when I'd merely comment that I think my battery was going to die. He's th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 10:14 AM |
| 1 | How can a financially successful alpha male who wants to settle down find women like you?Hi Not Swedish. I've not had to vet women for the sake of dating them so I think men might have better insight (especially when I like to think women here are of many different interests, educational backgrounds, ages, faiths, etc, thus making it difficult to pinpoint any one thing to recognize). If there was a single denominator, I think it'd be kindness. How does she treat animals? Homeless? Waitstaff? How does she talk about her past relationships? Other people in general? Does she volunteer … | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 10:00 AM |
| 1 | How to get into a serious relationshipAnd another thing, which is another big point. Men don't like to hear venting from a woman. This is truth. Men are even more frustrated when women don't take up any offers the guy throws up to fix the issue. When I'm upset by something I've since learned the following: 1) Learn to say, "eh, just frustrated by something but it's all good." 2) If he probes, I understand he will respond with advice. So if I open my mouth and tell him my issues, I have to respond to his suggestions with, "that's a r… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 08:37 AM |
| 1 | How to get into a serious relationshiplol, respectfully... you say to give a kiss on the cheek on date 1, then have sex by the third date. That's quite the escalation, no? | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 08:31 AM |
| 3 | How to get into a serious relationshipActually, this is truth: best relationship I got out of website dating was me reaching out to a guy first. Maybe he was just way suave, but he said, "I saw your profile but thought I'd be spinning my wheels if I sent a message." So yes, ladies. Reach out. It doesn't mean that the rest of the relationship will involve pursuing him rather than the other way around... but it's worth being the first to say hi. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 08:29 AM |
| 21 | Seriously concerned about my relationship? [change in dynamic) 26F & 29MI'd be honest. I'd say, "babe. I'm going to say this only once: me earning more than you won't kill my sexual attraction towards you. But, if you keep bringing up your insecurities over it, this will diminish it." Not to make you second guess yourself (since you're in the relationship and know it better than we do)... but are you sure the increased affection from him isn't as a result of you upping the frequency of sex? Worth keeping an eye on the trajectory of this, though. Some men are cool wi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 08:18 AM |
| 2 | Women high up in the totem pole, how do you regain humility?It sounds like you want to compete with men to get their affection. I draw conclusion from your phrases like, "retain power," "not an empty bluff," "viable position to judge." If you hold this mentality, winning will be losing. Men want a partner; not a competitor. Your ego might win if you can show him you're smarter/wittier/etc, but if you do it with the queen bee attitude you profess to adopting, you'll lose by missing out on some really great men (including those who are, in actuality, smart… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 08:06 AM |
| 1 | What homemade gift should I (23f) bring to my boyfriend’s (27m) family when meeting for the first time?If in the US, Cost Plus World Market is my jam for gift baskets. I like those who suggest hitting up the farmers markets too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 07:54 AM |
| 2 | Texting Blunders: Accidental sexting? Showing value/ Intent? Instagram etiquette?I'm with those who say to stop texting and start seeing each other in person. I'd also be pretty careful about what you text in terms of how loaded it is sexually. For starters, it never goes away. What we send doesn't magically get deleted, and you have to seriously trust that the guy won't misuse anything. This requires serious vetting, and my personal litmus test for sending undeletables is marriage. Others may have a lower threshold and that's cool... just be sure to check in with your perso… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 07:52 AM |
| 5 | "Commitment" in Western (US) SocietyYour questions about marriage/commitment are things I view akin to home ownership. Making the choice to get married is not all too different from buying a house. You look around, check out options, enter into a contract, and then spend that time under escrow looking under the roof of the home to make sure it's as solid inside as it is out. It sounds like what happened to you was that you went ahead with the house, the pipes burst shortly after, and your home got severely flooded. Maybe it was pa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 07:39 AM |
| 3 | RPW strategy/advice for supporting partner upset about hair lossHe's going to handle his impending baldness in his own way. I'd get away from offering him solutions for that. Also, instead of telling him he's just as attractive, I'd show it. Up the number of times in the bedroom, more physical affection, etc. Make sure he still feels physically desired, as I think this is the best way to help him believe it about himself. He will use opposite sex attraction as a litmus test of his own physical worth, and since you two are dating then you're the best bellweth… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/18 04:31 AM |
| 6 | Hoping my husband will have an income enough so I can homeschool kids - "gold-digging"?You'd be surprised how inexpensive it can be to homeschool. K12, for example, offers free online charter schools and provide all books/curriculum/laptop, etc. You do it through the state, but it's zero expenditure and enables the parent to be the primary learning coach (ie, homeschooling). That's just one example. I don't think what you're seeking in a marriage could be considered gold digging by the majority of men, but it's always a matter of aligning expectations in advance. When a guy asks y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/18 04:21 AM |
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