Hi all. Posting here as I am 100% certain I will be immediately shamed or told I must go to HR in this situation in any other subreddit. I don't want to do that, but still seeking advice.

I have been at the same office for more than 5 years. I got into a relationship after my first (nervous) year, which lasted 3+ years. The guy worked at the office as well and was extremely conscious of the attention I was apparently getting from other men (I was aware to an extent, but very self-conscious and oblivious to a lot of it). Jealousy was probably the thing that broke up our relationship in the end - he was extraordinarily jealous and insecure about this. However, in general, guys were not making obvious attempts to be with me or flirt with me while they knew I was with him.

Now, cut to a year and a half after our break up, I'm back at the office and everyone knows I'm single. I feel more confident than ever in my own skin, am finally dressing the way I want (admittedly a bit on the sexy side), but I do it because I feel great a lot of the time. I'd like to meet someone but obviously wouldn't be looking for someone in the office again as that turned out rather badly.

However, the amount of attention I'm receiving from the men (and sometimes women) at the office is astounding. My office is mostly men to begin with. I am being told on a daily basis, more than once, something about my looks, my outfit, how gorgeous I am, etc. etc. I have many trying to take me out alone with them after work or on the weekend. I have guys messaging me on Instagram (who I literally have never spoken to at the office) begging me to post more face pics on Instagram (???), I have guys asking me for coffee constantly, comments about how sexy I am, it is just endless. Last week a guy who was visiting from another office, married, of course, asks me to talk to him outside and promptly tells me I'm beautiful and that he wants to kiss me. The amount of guys who are doing this actively is around the 15+ mark in a 100 or so person office. From peers to managers and other people in completely unrelated departments.

Now the thing is, obviously I could cut all of this out by blatantly shutting the guys down and making it very clear that they make me uncomfortable. But I have a lot of fun at my office, I like a lot of these guys, genuinely, find them interesting in a variety of ways. Most of this rolls of my back quite easily or I find complimentary (I'm in my mid 30s and single, it's nice to hear!). Though I do NOT encourage it, I do not ask for it, I do not start any of it, do not give it back, and find none of them attractive in that way. Any really inappropriate stuff I gently shut down or decline. I don't want to upset these guys, I want to be like-able and a friend to most, and to be quite honest, I wouldn't want to piss them off, which I feel is easy to do in this situation. I'm open and friendly and generally very hard to offend.

However! This feels ridiculous. And with the incidents in the last week (Instagram guy and the guy asking to kiss me), I'm really wondering wtf is going on. I also don't want to ever appear like any of these guys are getting what they want, like I am easy, or anything of that nature, as I'm absolutely not - I haven't been with anyone since my last relationship.

Man, things were so much easier when I had a boyfriend who clearly had "ownership" of me here.