Broken up with, not coping well

midori_cat · 2018-08-20T22:31:33+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this. My last break up was so hard that I sobbed myself to the point of vomiting. Repeatedly. For weeks.

Here's what I did to get through the really awful parts:

For the first couple of weeks, I had Cheers (the show) playing in the background when I was home. I went on long walks and listened to audiobooks to keep my mind moving and focused on something other than the pain.

I kept a gel eye pack and moist cloth in the fridge to put on my face after crying jags to keep the swelling down.

I didn't listen to my favorite music or eat my favorite things or do my favorite activities cause I didn't want to taint them with my sadness.

I also got one of those therapy apps (like Betterhelp, Talkspace) and talked to a counselor. I didn't want to talk about my breakup with my friends yet, so it was good to have a counselor.

It helped me to journal and write my feelings down, too.

I really started to improve when I went NC though, and I wish I'd done that first.

Good luck, I hope you feel better soon.

Ok_Philosopher · 2018-08-21T02:40:27+00:00

Oh I'm so sorry... I know there's a time and a place for learning lessons regarding the breakup, but for now I'll just impart the phrase, "you can be the best peach in the world, but some men just don't like peaches."

The hard part about breakups is there's nothing to do. You put yourself in the best healing circumstance and then just let time do its magic. A broken heart has a lot in common with a broken leg.

When I went through breakups I'd watch Sex and the City. It was not only a great distraction but also showed the single life/dating in a positive light. Find whatever series numbs the initial pain, and once time has passed you'll be in a better mental state to process the "hows" and "whys."

Feel better soon and we're all here to help in what ways internet people can.

Empirella · 2018-08-20T21:38:50+00:00

Is there maybe one friend or family member you could speak with confidentially, without anyone else finding out until you're ready? Or if you're religious you might consider talking privately with someone at your church, synagogue, etc.

kaylin_xx3 · 2018-08-20T21:49:50+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have a lot of advice, just know that it's okay to be sad and grieve your relationship for a little bit.

redwatch95 · 2018-08-21T12:09:55+00:00

Hey! I know that this is tough on you! You need to give yourself 3 months to truly get over it. Rushing the process has never worked. But once you’re done grieving you NEED to start dating. It’s the worst thing to know you wasted time on someone that didn’t stay but don’t waste too much more time on him. Sending love your way 👍🏾

penelopunny · 2018-08-21T21:27:23+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. <3

This is going to hurt a lot, and no one knows for how long. Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve, and go NC for AT LEAST a month. If after that you feel you need NC for longer than that, or maybe even forever, then go for it! Try to be more self-compassionate and make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

I’m going through heartbreak myself right now, and in the immediate aftermath of the heartbreak I started a nightly facial routine while also venting by playing sad songs on my flute. Five months later, my face is glowing and my flute skills have improved, so that’s at least a silver lining to all the pain.

Again, I’m very sorry for what you’re going through.

Title	Broken up with, not coping well
Author	midori_cat
Upvotes	19
Comments	12
Date	August 20, 2018 9:28 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/98xns7/broken_up_with_not_coping_well/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/broken-up-with-not-coping-well.208402 https://theredarchive.com/post/208402

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