Some background: I play a coed recreational sport, and we all get along great. There’s an established group of friends on the team, some of whom weren’t on the team the last time I played with them. This season, I have become friends with the “new” people as they tend to go out to the pub after our weekly games, and I join about every other week. The group essentially consists of 3 guys who’ve been friends for years and one of their girlfriends who’s also on the team. Her and I really vibe! And the group in general is fun to hang out with, although I do think they might drink too much lol. I look forward to seeing them each week.

I’m wondering how best to navigate some mutual attraction between me and one of the other guys. He’s expressed interest, he’s funny and smart with a good job and good family ties, but he’s said a few things that concern me about his ability to be a good long-term match for me (i.e. has joked/stated[?] how he never wants kids). I am looking to get married and settle down, so stuff like that is important to me in potential partners.

I’m thinking about this now because it’s beginning to really seem like we could all be friends beyond the sport season, and I’d like to protect that burgeoning friendship. It can be hard to make friends as an adult lol!! And these people actually do things like going to cottages and games nights and outings and I’d love to have more active friends like that.

Any tips for navigating this? I am quite attracted to him and part of me really wants to see where that goes, but at the same time I don’t want it to make things awkward if it were to not work out…. It sort of reminds me of how you’re not supposed to date coworkers haha.

I was thinking of making it sort of light/playful to rebuff him like “oh you’re trouble,” or “I want to have the whole white picket fence thing, and that doesn’t seem your speed” or something. Or maybe there’s a way to like have a convo with him where I kind of establish like, “hey, we’re attracted to each other, but if we’re not long-term compatible, maybe we just don’t go there and leave it where it is rather than ruin the friendship?” Would that even be possible?

Has anyone here dealt with anything like this before? Is it possible I’m just overthinking this and should just let things develop naturally? I’d appreciate any advice.