Need advice please

AutoModerator · 2024-12-17T23:29:45+00:00

Author Material_Peak_4838

Full text: I and my bf were together for almost 8 years. We have two young children together and have been living together for most of those years. We’ve always had somewhat of a rocky relationship. Both always wanting to be right, better, etc.

We’ve broken up multiple times. Usually only for a couple of days. I just found LD’s book and podcast about a week ago. We were already fairly deep into our issues at this point. I starting to try and practice the skills, and I would see little glimmers of hope. On Sunday, though we got into an argument over something extremely dumb, but it was the tipping point for him, I guess.

He said he was ending things, left to his moms, and hasn’t been back. I’m not sure if he plans on coming back.

He’s still responding to my messages if I send them and has sent money for groceries.

I sent an apology to him for all of the disrespect I’ve shown him with specific examples of my behavior. He said that while he appreciates it, he feels like I am just coercing him to come back for nothing to change.

I simply said “I hear you, and again, I am sorry”

He opened it and didn’t respond.

Where do I go from here?

Do I give him space?

Do I express my desires to him as far as wanting him to be here for Christmas and having the family whole?

Do I just accept that this is the end?

I know that he loves me and he is usually quite affectionate with me, so any advice?

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AutoModerator · 2024-12-17T23:29:45+00:00

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ArkNemesis00 · 2024-12-18T14:26:18+00:00

What is something you can do in this time to change your environment? Is there some home improvement project or large mess you've been putting off? A car that needs cleaning? Furniture that needs moving? I think starting with a large tangible difference to your common living spaces could be a good way to send a message to him when he comes back.

Then try to make sure everything is ready for Christmas. Don't worry so much you put off planning and then he comes home to a stressed partner that needs store runs and help wrapping gifts.

I think it would be helpful to shift your mindset from "will he come back" to "when he comes back, will I be ready for him". Have everything ready and low-stress. Have something to show things will be different. Take care of yourself enough (get good sleep, self-care) to be pleasant to be around.

Also, next time things get bad, ask him if he wants to take some time with his mom before the crazy break up fights start. I know I've packed up the kids and stayed with my family when my husband and I weren't getting along. Sometimes space can be really helpful. It can make you miss each other.

Title	Need advice please
Author	Material_Peak_4838
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	December 17, 2024 11:29 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1hgo0t5/need_advice_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/need-advice-please.1538815 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538815

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