Your AAAAF report card (MMSL article)

abingo190 · 2016-04-29T02:30:22+00:00

YESS!! THANK YOU! some one finally said what I have been thinking all this time -- I agree with this quiet a lot. It feels so good to have found this community, I am not the only one!

i_have_a_semicolon · 2016-04-29T17:09:33+00:00

One of the hard things I have had to come to terms with is his lack of initiation of sex does not mean he does not desire sex. Infact, it is probably just as much of my fault as it is his that we do not have sex as frequently as I would like to. For instance, I can think of many ways I have actively pushed him away from wanting sex. Theese are a few things I've learned since I have put more active thought and effort into improving our sex life.

Just because he isnt asking for it, doesnt mean he doesnt want it. However if I'm sitting in bed staring at my phone, he's not feeling "invited" so to speak. More often than not I have found that putting down the electronics leads to definite sex (especially if I take my boobs out :P ) except in certain circumstances such as being tired/sick etc. I do not see those as excuses but rather as genuine things that make sex less appealing for him. So I make sure on nights where he does have energy and feels fine, I am sexually available to him.
Putting too much pressure on him to preform. Often I thought him not being able to orgasm was a clear sign that something was either wrong with him or me. It didn't happen every time, but occasionally I would get upset if I felt like I was going "all the right" things and he simply wasn't able to come. But after reading online about the issue, I realized that not only is it "normal" for some men not to climax every time during sex, but that I was actually making it worse by stressing him out over it. I cut it out, and if he doesn't come I just started ignoring that and still was pleasant and loving. I'd try my best if he wasn't able to come, but I wouldn't get hung up over it if he wasn't. I've seen both an improvement in frequency and ability to come since I have stopped harboring these negative views.
My man is simple when it comes to sex. He does not have any sexual fantasies that he has verbalized to me, even though I ask. But still I try to make sure I am fulfilling his needs. If he wants me to go on top, I try to oblige, if he wants a BJ, I give one. The only thing I have trouble with still is not going "above and beyond" the call of duty. Sure he is perfectly fine with a handjob and missionary. It gets the job done. But occasionally I try to put extra effort into it. Put on sexy lingerie, get down and dirty, etc. Because I do this, I notice he is more motivated to go the extra mile with me, too.

All in all I can say that keeping your man satisfied sexually is truly important to the relationship. If you find yourself NOT wanting sex very much, you should probably ask yourself why. Is it because you do not enjoy the sex? If so, then you need to put effort into figuring out what you like in the bedroom so that your partner can fulfill that. Yes, I have found myself not desiring sex as much because sex is not mind-blowing every time we have it. But it's always been difficult for me to have mind-blowing sex unless I'm very aroused. So still, I try to let go of my thoughts and focus on the good feelings, especially good feelings that are a result of making him feel good, since I cannot always rely on my own arousal as a motivator for sex. Yes I know I said I want to have sex more often than he does, but that's more on a theoretical level than anything else. I like the idea of having awesome sex all the time, but it cant be the best every time. you have to adjust your expectations and be willing to give even if you don't get much in return in that moment. It will make a difference in the long run and you will have more fulfilling sex because your man will want to reciprocate you fulfilling his needs.

nako- · 2016-04-29T23:42:08+00:00

Cool article . Sexual pleasure on both men and women are very important in a relationship, you get an orgasm and so does he win win!

the_vagenius · 2016-05-14T17:58:56+00:00

very true, but it really isn't good to put that kind of pressure on yourself, either. Definitely don't let kids or fatigue become a common excuse, but don't force yourself to have any sex you don't want to have either. I have no interest in having sex with anyone who doesn't want to have sex with me, even if it is technically consensual, nothing is more emasculating than the sensation that my lover is throwing me a sympathy bang. I appreciate the concern, but I want to be wanted, not tolerated. If it gets to the point where you consistently don't feel like having sex, it could be an indicator of a problem. Possibly on his part, and you may not even know what the problem is if you just keep robotically fucking him like it's your job. Some guys are daft, they can't tell when you're not into it, he'll never know how you feel, and when you eventually lose all affection for him because of his cluelessness, he'll be left wondering why.

Title	Your AAAAF report card (MMSL article)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	5
Date	April 28, 2016 9:02 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4gw3h8/your_aaaaf_report_card_mmsl_article/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/your-aaaaf-report-card-mmsl-article.86150 https://theredarchive.com/post/86150

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