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BobDoleHasNoPenis
[–]TfahsNoriEht21 points22 points23 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
TL;DR: I'm a lesbian how do I turn down men nicely in college?
"I'm a lesbian."
[–]attaxx 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahh you must be the infamous Troll Slayer. Good job. Now go carry on forth thine holy task.
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire23 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some men look at that as a challenge.
[–]Senior ContributorDemonspawn1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Don't know, don't care, not the point of this sub.
Your post is noise rather than signal.
[–]ModMachiavellianRed1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree, post taken care of.
[–]BobDoleHasNoPenis[S] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm sorry you feel that way.
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire24 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
First of all, thanks for asking for our opinion.
You don't have to announce that you're a lesbian to every guy that hits on you.
I've noticed that women will bring up boyfriends in conversations casually if they sense romantic interest from me. Sometimes they do this prematurely, like if I walk up and say "Hi" to them. That's rude.
If I start talking to them for a few minutes, and they "casually" mention their boyfriend or husband, I take it as a polite way of telling me that I might want to invest my attentions elsewhere. Now, some girls lie, and other girls are dissatisfied with their boyfriends. I usually back off because I don't want to bother with someone who is either taken, or a cheater. If she'll cheat on him at the drop of a hat, she'll cheat on me.
You can dance with a guy without leading him on. People dance all the time and don't screw. Dancing is fun. However, if you let a guy grind with you, or dance suggestively, you might be entering into leading him on territory, even if you do it jokingly. Lots of guys think they can "conquer" a lesbian, a la James Bond in Goldfinger. Whether or not this is true is besides the point; they believe it. If you do anything to add to this belief, you're leading them on. Just try to keep everything casual and platonic.
Another thing you can do is pretend not to notice certain kinds of advances. If they keep persisting, just say, well, I did tell you earlier I was into girls, didn't I? Just be kind about it.
Also, if you dance a lot with men, you may be sending mixed messages, and they may think you're bisexual. Sometimes I get mixed messages from women who purport to be lesbians.
Finally, if guys start offering to buy you drinks, or other tokens of affection, politely decline to let them, or at least reciprocate immediately.
I think the key to not being a jerk in these situations is to empathize with guys who hit on you, and to thank them for their attention without giving in to it. I get hit on by gay men when I walk down the street. I just smile, thank them politely, and continue on my way.
Caveat: Sometimes guys will be butthurt. One gay guy that was interested in me years ago nursed some serious resentment, even though I politely told him I was straight almost as soon as he started hitting on me. He actually attacked me at a party once after I made a random comment about his hair that was entirely meant not to offend. Everyone was like WTF, but I knew the real reason why he was mad.
If people are jerks to you because you turn them down politely, it's on them.
[–]BobDoleHasNoPenis[S] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks for being serious! No one else here seems to think I'm a troll or something, Oh boo hoo, I didn't mean to invade your man fort!!
Your advice was really helpful!
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, this site gets lots of hate because people can't see through the vitriol, hyperbole, as well as their own biases. People on here are genuinely worried about the subreddit getting banned, and there are all sorts of rules to minimize the possibility of that happening. Also, you can't judge an entire subreddit by what a handful of its most extreme or hyperbolistic members say. This is all semi-anonymous, so all kinds of people can come in here and sock-puppet whatever they want to make the board bad.
[–]Evolved_Red0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
||women will bring up boyfriends in conversation casually
To be fair at times this is a tactic - yes it could be literal but from my experience it can also mean either as a shit test or if it's truth, she's willing to cheat.
My experience with this was at a club in Salta, Argentina. Little Latina I met invited me and my guys afterwards to get something to eat, as apparently that's what her and her girls do after clubbing. Night goes on and I'm alone with her, I make the move to kiss her and she tells me she has a boyfriend. I said 'that's cool' and ignored it completely.
Later on she pounces on my lips. I tell her playfully that her boyfriend won't like that, to which she hangs her head and says she doesn't have a boyfriend, she wanted to see how I'd react.
She was a great teacher to a statement which I used to casually dismiss before.
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2-1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I know what you're saying; what are some good ways to quickly figure out if the BF is real? I've had several situations where I "stole" the girl from another guy, and it always cast a shadow on the relationship. It's hard, because lots of women abuse their power and get a BF just so they won't be alone, and then immediately look to branch-swing. This is why I always take it at face-value. The girl I lost my virginity to dumped her BF for me after she cheated with me. At first, I was like "Cool!" But then I started to think about it, and it occurred to me that someone else could come along and do the same thing to me. I also saw plenty of girls that were loyal to their BFs, even if they were schlumpy.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
tell them you have a partner, and if they keep trying after that, you have every right to be rude to them
isnt it pretty obvious?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm pretty fit, I run every weekend and go to the gym about twice a month
Lol, twice a month. Do you even lift bro?
[–]BobDoleHasNoPenis[S] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No, I don't lift. I'm more into the soft but healthy body thing, I should be able to run an 8 minute mile without collapsing, but I don't want huge muscles. By twice a month, I'm talking every other week, and I spend up to three hours there with a five minute break between machines or activities. I'm not "rewarding myself" with Starbucks because I managed to jog around the vending machine twice, and besides, why do you even care?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Well how was running and hitting the gym relevant to your question. You won't get huge by just lifting. You'll have to make the effort get big. Basically eating like a monster. I don't care. I'm giving you shit cause in my dominion and in the wrong subreddit. Try /r/asktrp
I was unaware asktrp was around, I must have missed it. I'll utilize it in future.
[–]Senior ContributorDemonspawn1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aye, your question would be much more acceptable on /asktrp. (And on that note, I need to spend more time there. Should have suggested it myself.)
[–]BrianGoethe-5 points-4 points-3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Life is all about compromise. You don't want to do them at all, they want to bang you a couple of times, how about meeting them in the middle and banging once then walk away problem solved.
How about I don't like men, and I don't feel like doing every guy around as some sort of consolation prize? That would be rather slutty.
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[–]TfahsNoriEht21 points22 points23 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]attaxx 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire23 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior ContributorDemonspawn1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ModMachiavellianRed1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BobDoleHasNoPenis[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire24 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]BobDoleHasNoPenis[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Evolved_Red0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]BobDoleHasNoPenis[S] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BobDoleHasNoPenis[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Senior ContributorDemonspawn1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BrianGoethe-5 points-4 points-3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BobDoleHasNoPenis[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link