Imagine that you have some actual willpower and can stop your cycle of internet-fueled snipe hunts about what women are “really” like, and start living. Here’s how it will probably go:

In the beginning, there’s you, and there’s a girl (not a particular girl, because there are many). You are each somewhere between 18 and 22 years old.

 

Before you ever meet, here’s what happens:

When she is between 16 and 20 years old, she will have had many, many more options and opportunities than you will have had. Which means she will be more experienced than you when you meet.

THAT DOESN’T MATTER. First, don’t let her know that, because she doesn’t want that to be true; she wants you to be fun and not insecure. Second, do you think that the 23-year-old guy that she got fucked by really cared about her? They were both just having fun.

Besides, you’re not going to marry her.

 

When you meet, here’s what happens:

She likes you, you like her, you hang out for a few weeks or a few months, have fun, do the sex. She may or may not be into this one thing, you may or may not know how to do that other thing. Then one or the other or both of you decide it’s played out, and it ends. It may not have been mutual, but that’s how it goes.

Maybe she’s sad, maybe you are sad, it doesn’t matter. YOU WERE NOT GOING TO MARRY HER.

 

After that, here’s what happens:

You will likely continue the above, maybe you’ll have dry spells here and there, maybe you’ll have more than one woman at a time.

What you will find: the woman is not the most important part of your life.

Is this a paradox or not? A woman is, at times, an absolutely essential component of a happy man’s life, but a woman is never the most important part.

 

Think about this:

You want to take a cross-country motorcycle ride. You absolutely need a motorcycle. You find a motorcycle that fits you so well that there really aren’t many others that will make that trip almost perfect.

Or, you like to go duck-hunting. You absolutely need a dog for that. You can find a dog that out-performs almost every other dog and really meshes with the way you want to spend the day. There will be other dogs, but you’ll remember that one dog forever.

Or, you are a big-wave surfer. There are only so many really awesome big-wave surf spots, and the boards you can get are also a bit limited. One board does this, another does that, another one is near perfect.

Same goes for guitars. You can find the guitar that you can spend all damn day playing, and no other will really make an experience like that. Are there women like that? LOL, no, there are not.

I’m not saying there aren’t special women who will make your life better for a time. I have had many really special experiences with particular women that would not have been that nice with another. I have also had several really intense monolithic love affairs that had unique chemistry and some mind-blowing, life-changing times.

But at no time in all that was the particular woman the most important thing in my life. Ever.

The motorcycle was. The dog was. The beach was. The guitar was. The woman was not.

Also: you’re not going to marry her, right?