Hi,

I hope to discuss the topic of compensation and "society cock block" here. I have taken TPR a little over half a year and just finished Rollo's book for the first time.

"AFCs are like the crabs in the barrel preventing other crabs to get out"

It took me awhile to sink in on these words. When I was between 6-16, all my friends went to the same school and we only got tighter, our beliefs were similar as well. When I was 17, we started to move out to different cities to do senior high school and eventually College.

My childhood friends were the "cool kids at school", half of them in soccer team, half of them have a high school gf at 15. I was still a chump back then. My closest friend Jake from that group of friends started to change at 15, he would take better care of himself, "being the guy outside the group", my other friends in that group would laugh at him and said things like "God, what happened to Jake. he's acting all cool and weird". I didn't pay much attention to that and eventually moved out of town. Jake got his first car at 17, it's a old rusty bmw. Jake and I were studying in different towns, but still kept in touch through msn. One day, Jake's gf from back home told me he got so pissed off when our childhood friends were teasing him about the car. Jake said " they don't even have a car yet, what are they laughing about". We were about 18 at that time. I kept in touch with the childhood friends, but Jake pretty much cut them off.

When I went home every summer, I would hang out with Jake and my childhood friends separately. They would ask me if Jake is still being weird, I didn't bad mouth cause we were tight. I would try to make plans to get us together, but it never work out.

Fast forward a couple of years, Jake and I both finished college, I had an idea of going into professional school and discussed it with my childhood friends during the summer. One of them shot it down instantly. "You know, all these doctors and lawyers putting so much effort in school, they are only after $ at the end. Look around you, all these sad people sitting in office, working 9-10 in a competitive job, killing their youth. I didn't agree with him on that, we agreed to disagree". When I met with Jake that summer, he said "You see, those people never change, they have the same mentality over the years. Maybe they will get a different vibe once they move out of our hometown. But man, I was right, You are going to piss some people off when you make a change. People don't like that".

It took me a long time to understand the "society cockblock", I thought it was just my group of friends until I read the chapter of compensation in Rollo's book. Yes, it is difficult to cut ties. After all, they are your childhood friends since 6. Jake was the crab that got out of the barrel at 15. As for myself, I was so afraid to make that change in my early 20s. I would worry what my friends think of me when I put on a new leather jacket, wear clothes that are more edgy. Since I took better care of myself, girls would look at me more, but my in grained chump cycle would re-enact every now and then, telling myself I am not entitled to nice things and good looking women. My approach would go half way, bail out my sets before the girl walks away etc. It is a working progress, I am happy to still have Jake around for the support. As for my childhood friends, half of them turned into white knights, going on rally to be SJW, supporting LQGT groups and the sub-culture.

How does a rAFC get support to climb out of the barrel? I am aware that I need to put my old friends behind, but can't help to sense a bit of loneliness after swallowing the red pill.