Most of us are timid. We want to avoid tension and conflict and we want to be liked by all. We may even contemplate a bold action but we rarely bring it to life. We are terrified of the consequences, of what others might think of us, of the hostility we will stir up if we dare go beyond our usual place.

Although we may disguise our timidity as a concern for others, a desire not to hurt or offend them, in fact it is the opposite - we are really self-absorbed, worried about ourselves and how others perceive us. Boldness, on the other hand, is outer-directed, and often makes people feel more at ease since it is less self-conscious and less repressed.

This can be seen most clearly in the art of seduction. Hold nothing back from the women you lavish. This is infinitely more flattering than compliments. At no point during seduction show hesitation or doubt, simply because you never feel it.

Part of the charm of being seduced is that it makes us feel engulfed temporarily outside ourselves and the usual doubts that permeate our lives. The moment the seducer hesitates, the charm is broken, because we become aware of the process, of their deliberate effort to seduce us, of their self-consciousness. Boldness directs attention outward and keeps the illusion alive. It never induces awkwardness or embarrassment. And so we admire the bold, and prefer to be around them, because their self-confidence infects us and draws us outside our own realm of inwardness and reflection.

Take note that few are born bold. You must practice and develop your boldness. You will often find uses for it. The best place to begin is often the delicate world of negotiation, particularly those discussions in which you are asked to set your own price. Set your value high and demand to be treated with respect, and you will be treated as such.

Boldness is not natural, and neither is timidity. It is an acquired habit, picked up out of a desire to avoid conflict. If timidity has taken hold of you, root it out. Your fears of the consequences of a bold action are way out of proportion to reality and in fact the consequences of timidity are worse. Your value is lowered and you create a self-fulfilling cycle of doubt and disaster.

Remember: The problems created by an audacious move can be disguised, even remedied, by more and greater audacity.

Boldness should not be the strategy behind all your actions, but rather use it as a tactical instrument. Plan and think ahead, and make the final element the bold move that will bring you success (or a learning experience).

Timidity has no place in the realm of power; you will often benefit, by being able to feign it. But at that point it is no longer timidity but an offensive weapon: You lure people with your show of shyness, all the better to pounce on them boldly later.