Being in control question.

thereticle · 2015-06-01T05:45:53+00:00

Controlling a woman like that is a sign of weakness. Its a sign that you are insecure that she will hook up with her ex. If you were a quality man you would be secure in the knowledge that she would not hook up with her ex, because this would mean that she would lose you. The pain for her of losing you should be greater than the pleasure she might gain from hooking up with her ex.

Personally I would communicate my standards to her and then let her do whatever the fuck she wanted, then let her deal with the consequences. I would never force a woman to do something that I wanted her to do, because then its meaningless if she obeys. I want her to WANT to do what I want, if that makes sense. I don't want to force her to do anything, I just want her to do it.

So in your case, I would have just told her that I think that its a pretty dick move to go to a party where her ex was, especially if I wasn't going to be there. I'd ask her how she would feel if the roles were reversed, and if she'd be comfortable for me to party with a girl I'd fucked not too long ago. I'd tell her that I was disappointed that she'd even consider going, and that I found it disrespectful.

Then I'd let her make a choice. I wouldn't argue, I'd just tell her what was up, then leave her to it. If she went anyway, I'd next the bitch or at least go cold on her for a few weeks to teach her the consequences of her choices and that I won't put up with her disrespect.

AssedM · 2015-06-01T07:06:12+00:00

Easy, don't date a girl that drinks and you have nothing to worry about.

Dark397 · 2015-06-01T08:31:15+00:00

Never apologise or pussy foot around for your wants. If it really bothers you, tell her shes not going. If she wants to know why, tell her its because of x reason, this can be the truth or pure bullshit. If she debates further then do any of the following:

Mimick her in a childish voice. Make fun of her. Tell her "its not a discussion" very seriously. Tell her "i think your new boyfriend wont mind that" "Pffft" "Dont be silly woman"

Maybe she will obey, maybe she wont, but a man will never be afraid to stand up and express his wants and desires clearly and without excuses. PERIOD.

Dont get angry. Dont display emotion, dont debate, dont ask why (you know why, its because she thought it was acceptable to disregard your opinion and desires without excuses)

So if she disobeys you then there are consequences, which will vary upon her disobedience or disrespect to you. As consequences you could ignore her, stop paying for her, flirt with other women in front of her (you should do that anyway), give her more demands (ask her to do stuff for you...cook..clean..wear better clothes), ignore her texts and calls frequently or you could just hard next her. All depends on the level of disobedience, but note that there absolutely have to be consequences for fucking with you. Be it a man or a woman, if they mess with you and you dont like it, make sure to raise the consequences (from a snarky comment to a hard next) for them. Soon you'll see them being respectful and obedient or they will just leave you. Isnt that what you want, to be respected by those around you and not to be disregarded like some chump?

Never forget that you are not hers, its only her turn with you. To make sure she continues her turn she has to fit a model that is acceptable to you, otherwise it was nice knowing her.

NeoreactionSafe · 2015-06-01T13:53:55+00:00

A woman must look up to you.

If a woman looks up to you she desires and respects you.

Evidence of this is when she actively Charms you... this requires her to study your likes and dislikes and please you.

But all women have their menstral cycle and at about two weeks past their period they are really, really horny, so be sure to "service" those needs when they exist.

When she's on week three and PMS-ing she will be too bitchy to want to hook up, so if you know her schedule and know the date of an event you can be fine and let her go.

When the girl is in heat it's your job to sex her up pretty good.

http://cdn2.arkive.org/media/E0/E0C60CFA-CAF9-4F6D-A9F1-05AE9666B71E/Presentation.Large/Female-crested-black-macaque-in-heat.jpg

...know about the sexual habits of primates.

LeonieNowny · 2015-06-01T05:03:44+00:00

Not an expert but, IMO, you know her more than we do. While I agree with the forum post that all women test their BF to define their boundaries, They don't all react the same way. Personnaly, I'm trying to be assertive toward my wife, not controling, but again its mutual respect and she knows my limits (which have been established over the years) and wouldn't dare to cross them. From time to time she will still need to be ''reassured'' that i'm driving our relationship (and familly) in the right direction - it makes her feel more confident and cooperative. Now about your GF, you're the one that knows what she needs to be cooperative. Be assertive; make sure she knows what you will tolerate and what is off-limit. If you appear vulnerable toward that, she will sense that you're not in control or that you doubt your own value. Again, I rarely post here and my relationship is stable and been working for 13 years. I know how to keep my wife secure so i think its up to you to figure out your limits and establish them and to apply that to your current relationship. (sorry for any language mistakes, english is my second language).

crazydave1979 · 2015-06-01T07:33:22+00:00

I would've done the same thing except for getting in a fight about it.. I would've just said I don't want to going to that particular party without me..

I don't put up with party girls anymore, not worth it

VasiliyZaitzev · 2015-06-01T14:42:17+00:00

When I was in college, I had a girlfriend who fancied herself "alternative" but really she wasn't, she just liked to pretend. She was way to pretty, didn't dye her hair, wear black or disfigure herself.

Anyway, she had these loser friends. They weren't bad guys, per se, but I had to go to one of their parties, once. Emphasis on "once". So we arrived way early and stayed way late. I'd have bailed but I had agreed to attend, I was the ride for a bunch of folks, and I just didn't realize how badly it was going to suck or that we'd have to stay so fucking long.

Anyway, the next month, there was another party at LoserHaus and she asked me to attend again, and I declined.

Her: "Why?"

Me: "They're losers. And why do we have to go and stay for hours?"

Her: "They have a hard time getting girls to go to their parties."

Me: "That's because they're losers."

Anyway, I tell her to go if she wants. She winds up calling me every 30 minutes (of her own volition) to check in (she was also a bit nervous about this other girl who I might have been banging back at the dorm. Dread game is your friend.) So she had a shitty time, and without me there to ward off the losers by my presence she found out what it was like to be an 8 hit on constantly buy a bunch of fedora-wearing (literally) neckbeards: Did.Not.Like. Last one of their parties she ever went to.

So, running the game film back, the difference is, I didn't get into a fight with her. I let her go slumming on her "Loser Outreach Program" without me, and the problem (which was I didn't want to waste a second of my time in Loserville) fixed itself.

The question is, did she go anyway, after you told her not to, or did she agree not to go, and then you relented. In the first case, in order for the relationship to continue, discipline must be imposed. In the latter, you can hardly complain now, after you backed off.

In any case, I would find it problematic that she was so intent on doing something she knew you wouldn't like. If she did this willfully (i.e. in open defiance of your wishes), your only real options are (a) kick her ass to the curb, or (b) running semi-intense dread game.

nemaxofredpill · 2015-06-01T18:00:03+00:00

Haha this guy needs to read the damn sidebar and quit just posting shit. Controlling a woman is like controlling a cat. If he read the sidebar he would know this. Now, she is def gonna fuck that hook up again cause she now knows her BF thinks he is better than him. Instant hypergamy validation. If she wants to go to the damn party with Chad there then you need to tell her to go. But you need to tell her in the hidden tone of "bitch you go and you are dead to me". Just like how chicks say "I'm fine" when you know everything isn't fine. And if she still goes then next her....who cares. If not, then pull back on emotions for this chick because if she truly respected you, she wouldn't have even thought about going when Chad was there.

Had an ex LTR tell me that she was going to meet up with an old high school friend for coffee. I found out that it was a dude and told her to "OK. Have fun." Without even batting an eye. But the way I said it was like "OK bitch you and I are done". Yeah, she all of a sudden decided to not go because "she didn't think it was right and cared about me".

forgetful_storytellr · 2015-06-02T13:16:24+00:00

send this question to the subreddit asktrp next time

Title	Being in control question.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	24
Date	June 1, 2015 3:36 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/381e3o/being_in_control_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/being-in-control-question.33140 https://theredarchive.com/post/33140

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