To acquire new habits require us to embrace the parts of us that need to die. To do that, you must first identify why you did what you did and mitigate that gap.

For example, if you used to sit at home playing video games instead of going to the gym to actively make your muscle tissue break apart and feel pain, you'll actively hamster it in a matter of days. "Turns out I don't like the gym, it's boring and the music sucks, compared to the others I'm so fat I don't fit in, plus it's cold outside".

You think that all this hamstering points to the reasons why you hate the gym, but you're wrong. It points to the reasons why you were playing video games.

"It's boring" - Video games are fun. "I'm so fat I don't fit in" - There's no filter to make you "unfit" for video games. You cannot even tell how other players look like unless you're playing locally. "It's cold outside" - House is warm. "The music sucks" - That stage 5 you had trouble clearing for days had a nice tune fitting with the explosive action.

Then you dig deeper. Why do you feel the need to play video games? The healthy man who has a successful career, and the average turbonerd who just realized his life sucks play video games to cover different needs.

Here's the first plot twist: Treating the symptoms won't make the issue disappear.

This is also true for many health problems. Your skin might be getting red and itchy and picking up an ointment to put on might alleviate the itchy feeling but if you can't detect the "why" you're fucked. Maybe it's an allergic reaction to some food -> find it and exclude it. Maybe you got bit by a mosquito, I don't fucking know.

NoFap, StopGaming, GetDisciplined and a shit ton of other subs and websites focus on fixing the symptoms, not the underlying cause. "Yeah man, the reason I don't approach girls is because porn comes easy". Bullshit, you turned to porn because you were sucking at approaching, so instead of fixing your sex life you turned to pornhub. I had retards telling me that masturbation is better than sex because they don't get tired as easily. Their hamsters pierced through the heavens!

Here's the second plot twist: It's not about equal exchange.

People thinking that they can just decide to drop off video games in favor of gym miss the forest from the trees. There is no way those 2 things can be equal right off the bat. By definition, a new habit will feel good after you do it for months. You're comparing something you were doing for years to cover different needs with something you did for a few days that covers something else, on the grounds that they are both things you do at 5. You suddenly realize that it's not the habits that you change, it's your mindset and your priorities in life.

This is why it's essential to shame your past behavior as you acquire new habits. The change is NEVER about picking up the new habits, the change is about you feeling bad for having shitty habits, and good for finally getting habits that actually work towards a whole different outcome. You will never do it unless you honestly and genuinely believe that you're done being a socially awkward nerd who faps and plays video games while he's waiting for the right burst of motivation to change it.

You might think that you wanted to write a book or play the guitar and what you lacked was motivation. No, what you lacked was clarity of identity and the required integrity.

Here's what the average person does. He decides to change himself because "new year bitches, let's do this I'm hyped", but instead of changing his overall mindset in life which translates to making different actions, he brute forces new actions wishing that the mindset will eventually change. "If only I can lift for 100 days, going to the gym will fill the same holes World of Warcraft and League of Legends did". Slim chance of that happening.

If changing yourself was about picking up habits that fill the same reasons you always did shit for, it wouldn't be called "changing yourself". You don't want to end up being the same person, you want to be better. And that starts from realizing what inner desires led you to act the way you did, honestly understand why you did them, change your desires and then translate those changes to actions so that you have integrity between what you really want and what you really do. Simply deciding to go to the gym and approach more girls won't work 100% unless you also pick the "become comfortable with being masculine" is a thing. There's a reason why Glover in No More Mr. Nice Guy linked underachieving with the nice guy mindset. To change, you don't need to simply sacrifice your old habits, a symptomatic approach. You got to sacrifice your past self.

Hope that helped you.