Choking on the red pill.

[deleted] · 2014-05-23T05:02:04+00:00

You're going to have to become socially well-groomed. You don't feel good about being an asshole and enforcing your expectations because it's SO foreign to you that it makes you uncomfortable. Get past that.

You're going to have to go out 'in to the field' for 2 or 3 years consistently if you want to internalize superior social skills.

Everybody wants a quick, pain-free fix. The red pill is about the truth: There is no quick, pain-free fix. You should realize this as soon as possible instead of sheltering your emotions in these abstract ideas of how things ought to be (classic feminist bullshit).

By the way, being an asshole is never good. The thing is that everyone is just such a dickless pussy that the bar is set pretty low for what they deem is "asshole behavior".

If you merely hold women accountable for their mistakes, you will be deemed an asshole because you aren't white-knighting and rationalizing for them. In this case, you're not /actually/ being an asshole, you're being reasonable. It's important to distinguish between true, genuine, dysfunctional asshole behavior, and just putting your foot down when and where appropriate.

HappyNacho · 2014-05-23T03:48:27+00:00

The road is long, just keep your head up and be the best version of yourself.

Time_To_Be_Honest · 2014-05-23T04:58:12+00:00

Your post resonates with me as it seems we found this at the same time. While you've increased your physical appearance and not your behavior, the reverse is true for me.

I don't want to be the asshole

Your chief issue. You equate having a strong masculine frame with "being an asshole". First and foremost, you must disassociate the two.

empathy that washes over me, begging me to be nice no matter what, to give in to the women around me

I understand. I was a counselor for 6 years. What helped me, was delving into my chosen area of biology, and from it understanding the two principles that logically result in altruistic behavior: Altruism and Reciprocity.

In this biological paradigm, altruism is based on a mathematical formula, rb > c, where r is relatedness, b is benefit to the individual and c is the cost to yourself. I perform this math mentally, and it's helped me not to fall into the traps you're talking about. A strange woman has a relatedness(r) of 0, thus, there is no reason to help her unless:

Reciprocity. That is the second principle. Can you reasonably expect, at a later date, to receive some kind of benefit in exchange? This is the basis of friendship. However, for the average attractive woman, she will NOT return your behavior.

Taken together, this means no help.

To push this towards practicality, ask yourself in these moments: What do I gain by assisting? & Would she do the same for me?

If the answer to both these questions is no, exert minimal energy.

So, key points:

Being an asshole is not synonymous with being masculine.
Ask yourself about benefits and expected return when interacting with people.

Otherwise, keep your head up, keep doing what you're doing, and above all, never stop moving forward. Good luck.

zpatriarchy · 2014-05-23T16:21:01+00:00

be a cat. most of the time they are assholes, sometimes they aren't. girls love cats.

frequentlywrong · 2014-05-23T04:52:48+00:00

This is something I always recommend to guys who are struggling to get their head right. Take up martial arts. Something real like MMA/Muay Thai/BJJ. Holding frame and imposing your will on the other person is a physical act when you are fighting/sparring. Once you get used to and comfortable with it in training, you will find it much easier to do so in your day to day life. It's the same thing, just purely mental instead of physical.

TheGreenPill · 2014-05-23T10:31:10+00:00

Face your mortal self.

Go rock climbing, do martial arts, run a marathon.

Do anything that shows you yourself in extremity.

Once you come back from that journey you won't care if anyone thinks you're an asshole.

One of the aspects of TRP is finding yourself and in that finding the inner core of confidence that lets you tell everyone else to fuck off.

spicy_fries · 2014-05-23T14:45:30+00:00

It is a process. It took years of indoctrination for them to mold you into a beta.

It will take much less time to revert to who you were meant to be.

xwm · 2014-05-23T15:53:10+00:00

I recommend the book No More Mister Nice Guy. Try some of the exercises presented in there.

RedBigMan · 2014-05-23T15:55:14+00:00

I think TRP happens in stages. In the early stage it's very hard to actually overdo the asshole/jerk aspect of it. In the middle stages it's very easy to overdo it. Only at the end stages do you find the appropriate balance that works for you.

Remember being a bit of a jerk/asshole is not necessarily a bad thing. Since you know as others have mentioned the bar for being considered a 'jerk/asshole' is ridiculously low because most men act like pussies around women. Just by not acting like a pussy you'll be considered a jerk at times.

aakksshhaayy · 2014-05-23T04:30:00+00:00

Swallow it down, what a jagged little pill.

Title	Choking on the red pill.
Author	depressedthrowaway55
Upvotes	8
Comments	11
Date	May 23, 2014 3:26 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/269ps9/choking_on_the_red_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/choking-on-the-red-pill.15736 https://theredarchive.com/post/15736

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