A regular commuter due to my job role. It was a typical train journey, filled with complimentary drinks and snacks.

I became aware of a drunk passenger just ahead of me. He began asking people for smokes. I was listening to a podcast but could hear through my headphones. I stayed aware in case shit hit the fan. He returned to his seat.

Around an hour later into my journey, I took my headphones off to listen to my surroundings. As soon as I did, Mr Drunk N Irish sat in the empty seat next to me and waved a post it note in my face.

"Gonna write this down for me."

I looked up from what I was doing right in the eyes and didn't respond.

"I told you, goin' write this down for me NOW!"

Making sure to maintain eye contact and feeling pretty calm...

"I'm not writing anything down just now."

He repeated his request again, saying "You came up in my face."

I clarified "You came into my personal space. I don't have to do anything for anyone"

He kicked off, so I stared at him with a smirk on my face and prepared for him to do something stupid. He stood up out the seat and threatened to break my teeth. Adrenaline was rushing but I was calm. From practicing Martial Arts I can handle the rush.

I stared him down until he went to his seat with a smirk on my face.

Reported him to the conductor. Guy got kicked off. I got a free upgrade. Happy travelling.

Conclusion

Reactivity in conflict is the worst thing to do. Frame is key. Don't break it for anyone. Maintain a calm tone. Ultimately if you need to lose the confrontation to win the war, do it.