Summary

In the past I have heard women describe their boyfriends/exes as "controlling" and/or "insecure." This is over a long period of time, in different contexts, for different reasons, but they all highlight some basic TRP truths you can find here on any given day.

Controlling is more of a dominant attribute, and insecurity is more of a beta attribute. It all depends on how she sees you.

Body

When a dominant man asks his woman where she was, who she was with, or who she is texting, this is often depicted as him being controlling. When a weak man does the exact same thing, it is depicted as him being insecure. Being called either of these things (but usually not to your face however) is an opportunity and you should see it as such. So, a few thoughts:

First off, if you have to ask her questions about shady behavior more than once or twice, it is probably time to move on.

Second, if your woman even hints at you that you are insecure, she sees you as weak.

Third, if your woman calls you controlling, she is acknowledging that you are dominant - but that does not mean all is well. She is still challenging you.

So being called "controlling" or "insecure" is a hint in and of itself in terms of how she expects the test to turn out - if you get defensive or back down, then you are indeed insecure and all it took for her to find out was a teenage-level shit test.

If you are not insecure AND you can maintain your frame AND you have read the side bar, then you will know how to respond (hint: agree and amplify)

Lessons Learned

Being called controlling or insecure is a basic shit test, and you now know how to respond (agree and amplify - on the dominant side). When confronted with such a test, your response should be something like "No. I am not insecure - I am acting controlling because that is what men like me do. Now, answer the question or take your ass back home so I can make other plans"

If you cannot respond like this, then read the sidebar again and keep trying. The next one will be easier.