I feel like there's a couple things I could be doing better with this, and I was wondering what some of you might have to say about it.

I tend to be the type of person that internally has a very quick, very sudden temper. I can be absolutely happy, and everything is going fine...and then all of a sudden something happens, and it immediately upsets me. Internally, I'm fuming. Externally, I'm pretty good at hiding it completely. This isn't always a good thing. I usually get over as quickly as it happens, and it's not really a thing. However, I've also been blessed/cursed by an excellent memory of all the things that incite these feelings in me.

For example, if I have a friend, and he does something that annoys the shit out of me, I usually deal with it internally, and we talk about it as calmly as I can, and then we move on. But after, say, the 50th time, this becomes almost impossible. Because I remember all the previous times it's happened. And I have a tendency to snap. Of course, people see this as "uncharacteristic" of me, however it's really just something that happens very occasionally. So, when this happens, almost unconsciously, I have the ability(?) to say the most sharp, precise, cutting, and hurtful things imaginable. I remember every little stupid, moronic thing they've ever done, and worse, I also seem to have an excellent ability to read exactly what many people's vulnerabilities are. Maybe because they tell me...either way, this comes out. Let's say someone has been having a particularly hard time with money. I might say something incredibly hurtful about that. It happens rarely, but it does happen. And I don't like it. Perhaps the most worrying part is that while I'm saying it, I hear it, and it almost feels good..but then I immediately regret it. Not because it wasn't true, but because of how it made the other person feel.

I'm wondering if any of you ever feel this way, and how you deal with it. I feel like I tend very strongly towards "dark triad" behavior, although I'm definitely not a diagnosed sociopath and definitely feel emotion. However...occasionally...I don't...and the cold rationality takes over, and people are hurt. Finally...and this is maybe worrying that this is the part I'm most concerned about...but I just don't enjoy feeling like this. However, it's always been almost automatic. I've been this way as long as I can remember.

People see me as a generally very nice, but very rational and logical person...some of them are scared of my temper, but most aren't. I can't tell which I prefer, I definitely have more respect from those who have seen my "dark" side. Would love some input. Thanks.