So, recently I've come to accept the fact that I'm not as RP as I once thought I were. Although I've always been mindful (thank you, ADD and depression) and have always been pretty good at figuring out either what I'm doing or what the situation I'm in is the result of, I've never been the best at being mindful DURING the situation.

For some reason, though, these past few weeks I've been more and more in the moment. I haven't changed anything about myself, but I'm starting to catch myself doing stupid shit - I've mixed up my seed bag and caught myself planting shit seeds in time before they blossomed and grew a bunch of shit fruit.

For example: I've noticed that I'm a little attention whore outside (and apparently in this thread, too) when doing my sport. I'll try bolder shit in the hopes that people will watch me, and I've been working towards beating it into my head that nobody gives a fuck about me like that. I also caught myself trying to court jester my friend's girlfriend who got yelled at by him, catching myself in the act and realizing that the bird needed to learn her lesson instead and that I'm being a dumb fuck trying to cheer her up.

Hopefully this keeps up - End diary.