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Franklin_hatchett
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[–]Solipsistic_guy2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
OP, could you go into the detail of the shit tests you were subject to ? There might be the biggest takeaway from this post.
[–]Franklin_hatchett[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
the biggest shit test was when she told me about this dude , that he came back and contacted her , after unplugging i feel that the good choice was to ignore it and act like its nothing , showing her that im higher value than him , in that time i got nervous and felt insecure , i told her to block him and be with me ( showed insecurity its like i told her i fear losing you for this dude ) and the reason why i did all this is because she had a crush on him before and he ghosted her so her feelings didnt die , i guess things went downhill since that day , in a period of 20 day i got demolished with all shit tests in the book from the simple ones of ordering me to do something to the blatant disrespects and i did put up with her shit i showed weakness (was sick) and i did seek her approval , i opened up emotionally telling her i was hurt that she talked with him , on day 20 she contacted him again , day 25 i found out after she told me shes crying in the bathroom and shes feeling hurt , i asked why ? she said she dont know ,the first thing that popped in my mind was him .
[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
You've got to stop seeing it as "all the bad this girl did". It's not actually bad, it's just what they all do. All women do this, they are all adorable liars just like this girl was to you. It's really fine, that's who they are, there is no problem with them; the problem is that you're never told about how inherently false they actually are. If you know this truth in your bones, there's no need to for wishful thinking, convincing yourself they're these wonderful angel creatures (to be able to love them) and then getting all hurt & betrayed when you see they actually aren't. It's a little difficult to get rid of this "oh shit she's no angel, more like a slut-demon" panic at first, but it is definitely blue pill thinking, something that is still entretched in there, holding you back. When you finally crush this too, you'll feel an incredible new freedom.
It won't matter any more if a girl you love lies, it won't be some insulting emotional thing to you. It's just not personal. Think about it as... her makeup. She needs it, she's a girl. You just look at the events and decide if you're going or staying, as a result. Do you feel like still fucking this girl? If not, well thanks a lot that's a great reason to leave her. If you'd rather stay, then that's fine too, you already knew she's a little liar from the beginning, and it won't bother you as much in general, when there are no personal consequences involved that would be a net loss for you. Gotta live with and in that truth, bravely and without wishful thinking (like making her promise she'll be better for you now - it's like asking for more makeup, more lying that she'll happily promise to you, because she can't and won't change the ugly underneath). New You with this type of attitude could've said "A-grade boobies, hope the cousin wanted to marry you" and she would probably be all tingles, a little shocked by how "not like any other guy" you are.
Every other guy thinks it's about him, while you KNOW it fucking isn't, never was and never will be. It's her movie, she's the star, that's all. You're just a handy dandy prop for the movie to play out nice and epic (she hopes). If she didn't have you, she'd have some other turkey, but her movie with him would be the exact same. It can be that simple to understand & love the girl properly, no panics no nothing. You get to love her like a man, when you remove the blue pill brainfog from it all.
[–]Franklin_hatchett[S] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i knew that i had to live with this hard truth , in the begining in my blue pill days i used to think that a women lying to her man was a disrespect , a lack of manners and something that could ruin a relationship , nowdays i know AWALT, and giving up on that blue pill fantasy of finding a honest truthfull women who could never lie to her man helped me , while i wont put up with a women who could lie about her whereabouts and who she is with . about me making her promise she will be good , i fucking knew i did a mistake , i knew i made her put a up a show , i made her act and put more make up as you said , now i dont know if a woman can change this way , or its just her acting and me enjoying the movie thats satisfying my ego , in the begining my no judgemental attitude made her open up to me and tell me anything , now she is closed up and she looks extra good and that makes me question it .
[–]sophiescholl2 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i ordered her
no successful relationship is complete without one person issuing orders to the other
[–]rtc3290 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think the biggest takeaway from this post is how much stress you're allowing this girl to cause you. Is she really worth it? I think if you're honest about that question you will find she isn't.
Get rid of the stress and focus on improving yourself. You'll be happier with yourself and that, in turn, attracts higher quality women who hopefully you won't have all these issues with.
i see things from the same perspective i was under great amount of stress , just thinking about what she said what happened how it happened ,and stuff like that . the second part of your advice is something i thought about many times , but i admit that my oneitis held me back from doing it , but it didnt hold me back from working 8 hours a day and being 4 times a week in the weight room and 3 times a week in the track for my cardio , spinin plates currently , and giving her less attention ,still struggling with my oneitis but im breaking free.
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[–]Solipsistic_guy2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Franklin_hatchett[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Franklin_hatchett[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sophiescholl2 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rtc3290 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Franklin_hatchett[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link