Finding your tribe

UnimpressedAsshole · 2013-12-21T16:11:21+00:00

Yes, I have some suggestions.

Read Rainer Maria Rilke's "Letters to a Young Poet" and if you are interested in spirituality check out Osho's "Love, Freedom, Aloneness". Ultimately, the goal is to not feel that isolation is imposed upon you but an opportunity for simple pleasure and true growth (as Osho would simply say "being alone rather than being lonely").

Once you establish and define your self, your direction in life, your joys, your values, your rhythm, your hobbies, etc., friends will gravitate towards you naturally. There will be some lonely times until you have a tribe but if you study those books with earnest commitment and authentically confront and accept any feelings of loneliness until you stabilize yourself in your own presence then loneliness will lose it's effect on you.

If you are not "sporty" then perhaps focus on your mind-body awareness through tai chi or yoga. If that is not appealing then I would recommend going into body weight exercises, working out, lifting weights, and running.

OP, what is your goal here? To alleviate feelings of loneliness? If so you are in the wrong subreddit but serendipity has struck you with a greater opportunity than you could've hoped for.

snafugauche · 2013-12-21T16:43:33+00:00

Confidence

Work on your state of mind. Confront your problems head on. Do not avoid 'fixing' something that you have direct control over. Do not fix problems outside of your control, such as how your friends act or other intangible problems - you can't control them and putting effort into them is a time sink .

Motivation

Accomplish tasks. Stop making excuses. Wake up each day knowing your purpose. Find your purpose if you have not already. Explore who you are and get to know yourself better.

Value

Give yourself value. Do not seek value from others. Find men to speak your mind around. Do not pander for attention from others. Instead, bring your personality to the table. Develop a personality. You can do this by participating in activities that share a similar mindset, or require you to interact with others.

Whatever you interests may be, you should be able to find other men. Good places to start are any sports or outdoorsy activity. Make friends at the gym. Make friends at your college or even job. Get to know people beyond a superficial level. Invite your friends to do things with you, rather than wait for your friends to invite you to the movies. Gain knowledge; read books. Learn more about something that interests you.

Most importantly practice. If you do not practice or repeat things, you will not know them. You may understand something, but not know what it is until you experience it. Once you have read and experienced something, you'll feel a greater appreciation for that subject.

What about yourself? Do you understand who you are? Have you tried to understand him? Do you care? Ask yourself these questions, and if either you don't care or don't know, that's the first place to start. All the activities in the world won't help you if you're distracted you from your real problems.

Think and act in tandem - good luck.

Mal3man · 2013-12-21T15:57:49+00:00

Do activities that you like that have a social aspect. Sports, music, dancing, brewing beer, whatever. You have to get out and DO something.

Divinityfound · 2013-12-21T22:09:10+00:00

www.meetup.com

Great site to find your "tribe". I've met some amazing people doing things that I love and picking up new things to boot.

UnimpressedAsshole · 2013-12-21T16:38:49+00:00

Whatever you do- do not enter into activities that are not 'you'. There is no greater loneliness than not being you. Also.. do not ever admit to being lonely. This will drive people away.

Human_v2 · 2013-12-21T16:52:11+00:00

As an aside, try going to the cinema alone, I'm a huge convert to it since I tried. Way more immersive and a much better experience imo.

2013-12-21T17:00:51+00:00

I'm an oldster and here's some advice that has allowed me to enjoy life more. Learn the art of Dokodo. I didn't know that was what I was doing as I had no name or frame of reference but let me tell you how awesome it feels to be comfortable in your own skin / mind regardless of whether or not you have company. Learn to appreciate a very special gift only YOU can afford, embrace your Solitude.

DanReggins · 2013-12-22T04:16:27+00:00

This is anecdotal, so take my $0.02 for what it's worth. I'm 32 and have never felt like I had a tribe. In fact, I feel like I don't even have a home or even a country, as I left the US back in 2007.

The US, in comparison with other countries, can be a very lonely place. And if you start thinking that there is something wrong with you and that you're being left out, then yes, it will take an unnecessary toll on you.

But let me offer you another perspective -- give yourself and your judgement some credit. The reason why you don't have a "tribe" or group of shithead friends is because you, truly -- at the core of your conscience -- don't want that. Why hang out with douches who spend 75% of their yearly income on their BITCHEN CARS BRAH, or DRINKS AND DRUGS BRAH??

Say you're like me and you reject the materialism and debt culture. Well, yeah -- that can make you an outsider. WHY DON'T YOU LIKE OVERPRICED CARS BRAH? YOU SOME KINDA FAGIT? HURHURHUR

Let me close this. Please try to remember that 1) You chose this because it's what you really want, 2) You certainly don't need douchebags like that dragging you down, holding you back, and warping your judgement, and 3) You can use the time you'd otherwise waste with little tribes and their SWEET RIDES BRAH on your own desires and professional interests, improving yourself, laying the groundwork for an excellent career.. and THAT right there is RP, brother.

Me now? I don't have a tribe... but there are lots of girls that wanna spend time with me, and I'd much rather have that then bros telling me about their fucking stupid cars.

Edit: Hey cocksuckers -- if you have a problem with what I'm saying, then fucking challenge me in a reply rather than downvote. Bitches.

neobrown · 2013-12-21T22:46:04+00:00

Take up martial arts and go 3-5 times a week Take ballroom dancing lessons Read a shit ton of books Go to college

What ever you do stay busy. After highschool my mental health deteriorated due to the uncertainty and boredom. going to college got be back to normal.

insane_psycho · 2013-12-21T17:48:31+00:00

What are your current hobbies? Are you planning on going to college? Either way I would recommend picking up a sport and spending more time in the gym.

Some of the strongest bonds between guy friends I've seen come out of two places: sports teams and fraternities.

Title	Finding your tribe
Author	ghostofVoltaire
Upvotes	25
Comments	26
Date	December 21, 2013 3:26 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1tecuz/finding_your_tribe/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/finding-your-tribe.9091 https://theredarchive.com/post/9091

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