Often, people come here asking "how do i change" and the standard advice is along the lines of "go lift and read the sidebar".

I've said before that if your focus is fucked up no amount of sidebar or lifting can help you. This is an elaboration of the simple notion that change must begin with a correct focus and that everything else will flow from it.

If want to view this concept in a graphic, I made this for you.

Step 1: Your Focus

You have to know why you are taking action because if you take action for the wrong reasons, it will only mask the problem rather than fixing it. Here is an example:

Billy visits TRP because he wants a better understanding of how this whole man/woman thing works. Barry visits TRP because he wants to know how to make this girl hes crushing on like him more. Both men are improving their minds (step 2) but because Barry has a fucked up focus, he will crumble when the shit test comes his way (more on that later).

Step 2: Your mind

Having a good focus is the first step, but you have to have the correct mindset before you can take any action towards improvement. From here on out, I will refer to having a correct focus and mentality as "frame".

Step 3: Your Body

This is the step that most men get wrong. They fuck up here not because they don't work on their body, but because they come here immediately without having the correct frame. While muscle is great for initial attraction (because girls cant see you and say "man, his brains are so fucking ripped") if you have shitty frame, you will fail the first shit test that comes your way.

Step 4: Your Appearance

I listed this separate from your body because this is more about how you choose to carry and attire yourself. Some men believe throwing a suit on will cure all their woes. This is incorrect. This is the last step in a process that begins internally. If there were a simple external fix, there would be no /r/theredpill - everyone would be at /r/gotasuit instead.

On Shit Tests

Shit tests will attempt to attack your frame, ignoring all the walls that you put up if you indicate that your frame is weak. This is why TRP emphasizes keeping frame no matter what. You can buy better clothes. You can build muscles. If your frame is proven to be weak, that is an internal problem. Shit tests are designed to find out where you are weak.

On attraction

If shit tests can be said to attack your frame, then attraction can be said to come from it. Long-term attraction is the reaction that people (not just women) have towards people who have a solid frame and who are able to make decisions based on it. Unattraction occurs when people do not have a frame that forms the basis of their actions and decisions.