Dear TRP,

Many weeks ago while I searched the internet desperately for answers to my situation with a woman, I stumbled upon this subreddit and drank from its font like a thirsty babe at his mother's breast.

Maybe some of you remember it, maybe you don't, it doesn't matter. I had shacked up with a woman in the midst of a separation, two kids. Red flags galore--child before marriage, early sexual history, other things--I ignored them all, my own hamster spinning the internet yarn "doesn't matter, had sex". Well, it fucked me up pretty good in the head because I was seeking validation and had finally found it, and when she ditched me for another guy (which is what I assume happened) I was sad. Poor me, I thought, I just lost a hot chick who liked me for another guy.

Then after some weeks of radio silence my brain finally righted itself and I started ticking things off a list of why I was stupid and how none of it made any sense. Honestly, I feel like a moron.

And like clockwork just as I was normal again I get a text from her inquiring as to my well-being. Now, I should have ignore it, but basically I pushed her away. I've reflected a lot about that and prior situations I had been in with more red-tinted eyewear.

Since coming back, I've improved my situation at work (no promotion yet but I've stepped up my game enough to receive verbal validation. Not important to me, but important for my supervisors to hear or read). I've lost a few more pounds of fat and gained a few back of muscle. I'm back and over my pre-injury deadlift of 505 and hit 510 the other day, and put 30 pounds on my clean, now 255, and squatted four plates again for the first time in eight months. I'm noticeably bigger, though I'm not cut yet, and it occasionally draws the eyes of the girls I'm around. I'm a 7/10 on a great day and I have no illusion about that, but physically I'm in better shape than I've ever been at 25. I've fixed my posture and been more on point with my head and facial hair situation, and have learned to talk slower and deeper and sometimes it just simply happens now. My finances are in better shape, though still a bit of a crapshoot because of earlier mistakes, but I'm much more disciplined.

The other day a girl, who was getting up from her cubicle, almost fell on her face because her body was moving toward and office but that's not where her head was pointed.

These are baby steps, I am aware. But that's how you start, and how you continue. But I am in a great mood and good spirits and hoping to make more strides in the coming months to improving my life.

Thanks everyone for your feedback and discussion and occasionally the lulz.

I finish with this--my high school motto is Hazard Zet Foward. It mean, literally, in spite of hazard, go forward. I didn't get it as a kid but it makes more sense as an adult, especially given my college motto. Definitely a great way to approach life in general.