My Age (31) Long time reader, first time poster

Weekday Buildup:

Example of great banter and upped sexual tension resulting in a date to…..go to her place to cook? (yeah right) Meet girl X earlier in the week through friends, get her number and a date in a matter of moments through witty banter:

Me: Hi I’m ____ and your name is____?

Her: Girl X

Me: You look like you have some hidden talents, tell me something you are good at?

Her: I’m great at cooking

Me: You may cook better than my mom but there is no way you cook better than me

Her: Pssh please, Don’t embarrass yourself

Me: Well we will have to have a cook off I guess then. But there is no way you will win, you might as well just be my beautiful assistant, I guess you can hold my spatula…

Her: More like you can assist me, and then you can help me in the kitchen.

Me: No, I am definitely a better teacher than a helper, be we both know you could learn a lot from me so it will work out for you in the long run. I just don’t know what’s in it for me though?

Her: Haha aren’t you cute?

Me: That’s what the girls tell me

Her: Haha

Me: a Super Market date does sound like fun though

Her: I actually love to go grocery shopping

Me: Then How about Friday?

Her: That sounds great!

Girl X) age (25) – Higher Maintenance - Investor – Denier – (This Plate really seems to fill my emotional needs plus+ Best never ending B.J.’s in my life)

  1. Turns out that Girl (X) lives around an hour and a half away from me (Not good I tell her she is already losing points and is back to square one with me)

  2. I tell her to convince me that it’s worth the drive, she jokes (because I rib her for being a cowboys fan and I nicknamed her cowgirl in our texts) she says she has a nice THICK dallas blanket that we can share on the couch ( ioi she wants sex )

3.I tell her I will grab the movie (thank you girlfriended beta roomy for the suggested rom com) and I will pick her up at 7:30 to go shopping (she says make it 8…I find out why later and she tells me to wear something comfy (ioi she wants sex))

I head over to her place to pick her up and head to the store. On the way she texts me asking what I want for dinner. I anticipated her asking me what I want for (yes the girls want a definitive answer to these types of questions not just I don’t know? what do you want? It’s because they want to impress you with something that you enjoy, novel concept I know) I have pictures shot over immediately and tell her I will be impressed if she can find the recipes (treasure hunt awesome, and gives her something to do while she waits for me to drive all the way over)

I show up and she hops in the car and we head out to her favorite store and grab everything we need. I grab a six-pack because it could be a long night for all I know. We get back to the house and I immediately set down the groceries and throw her against the wall, pull her hair and establish dominance. I get her onto the couch and begin with lower back foreplay (for those of you that don’t know a large portion of a woman’s nerve endings are at her tail bone, these tens of thousands of nerve endings share pathways with her lady bits….massage her tail bone while you make out then move up her back and then she’s going to want some more).

I make it a point to listen to stand up every day, whether on Pandora in the shower and car, or on Netflix at night. I have been joking with my roommate about this Steve Rannazzisi sketch where he has a college kid tell him that when he wants a girl to suck his dick he says “suck my dick like you like it” I figure what the hell, and drop the line for my personal amusement…She loves that idea and goes to town. (I find it hard to squash my giggles at this point because the jokes so damn funny, and I’m the only who gets it at the moment). She puts her skills on full display at this point. Normally I kind of like girls sucking for a little while, then I like to move on to more enjoyable pursuits in line with my interests but somebody taught that girl from the lost sea scrolls of fellatio. She masterfully proceeds to spill a quart of fresh milk in close to 60 seconds which believe me is nothing short of a Benny Hinn Sunday Christian special healing miracle.

She immediately starts cooking for me after that (her roommate comes home and is more attractive than her, but dumber than surfing in Nebraska. (The wheel’s spinning but the hamster is dead….yeah that kind of dumb) I make sure to maintain eye contact with my date and conveniently forget the roommates name until later when I ask it again (on purpose…to act polite but diminish her value…again on purpose) I see her out of the corner of my eyes gushing in secret to her roomie (I pretend I don’t see it). Eat dinner a wonderful home cooked meal and have her make us the desert I picked out (crescent roll s’mores…mmm can only eat one hah) watch a movie with awkward why is the roommate still her under cover action, then take her up to bed for her first full marathon and introduction to ice cubes.

(for those of you that do not do this, always introduce a seemingly harmless toy into your first sexual encounter, I.E. tie them up with suspenders, Blindfold them, have them suck you off with an ice cube, it makes you seem fun and interesting and always play the I can teach you things card.)

In the morning I get a text from Girl (Y) asking if we can move the Sunday date to today. I am not 100% ready to talk about my other plate and she has never asked, so not a big deal so I tell her that’s fine and to meet me when she gets done with helping her friend move. Girl (X) is staring at me lovingly so I tell her to make me some chocolate chip pancakes with our left over chocolate chips, she responds with a yes sure and a “may I suck your cock first”, I (sarcastically) begrudgingly accept her offer. And then reward her with my newly freed up time on Sunday.

I sold myself as being the guy that she will have fun with and sleep with, she is going to want to see if I can put my money where my mouth is. I reward her for her good behavior and begin to regale her with tales of my foreign land if she comes my way this next time.

(EDIT - Dialogue Structure)