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[–]testosteronie 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What's helped me is to remember to reward good behavior and punish bad behavior just like with children. Women need feedback what you expect, and what you will not tolerate. By only praising after sex, you're telling her the only thing she's doing right is sex. That may be the case, but is there nothing else you would like to see more of? Is she pleasant in demeanor, cheerful, a good cook, cleaner etc? It's not necessarily about being "nice" and being "mean", but about rewarding good vs punishing bad. The same thing applies with anybody else; coworkers, family members, friends etc. but obviously with some relational changes.
Remember; what gets rewarded, gets repeated.
[–]kteara 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How would you reward the examples you gave whilst retaining your masculinity and not providing her the impression that your effeminate.
[–]TrainingTheBrain 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Be whoever and whatever you want to be. Want to hold a door for a chick, do it. Don't base your life on the perception others have of you. Just embrace the 'true' you and get what you want from people.
[–]russo3920 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Still, do you think you are going to get what you want from people if you 'just be yourself'?
[–]TrainingTheBrain 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm not advising the 'just be yourself' advice chicks give weaksauce dudes. I'm saying, Do You regardless of the impact you think it has on other preconceived notions as to what is 'right'.
You can be the dude who walks into a party with a six pack of Smirnoff. If you own that shit, nobody will fuck with you. If a weaker dude tries the same, he'll be mocked all night for drinking a fruity faggot drink.
The same applies to acts of kindness. If you do something nice and do it from a position of masculine strength and genuine desire, then the chick will take it accordingly and not view you to be 'soft' or looking to get something from her. she knows you have abundance so she knows you doing that nice thing came from the heart, you meant it without any strings attached.
In the middle of a meal with my wife, kids, my sister, and my parents I looked at my wife and in the light she looked fucking amazing, So I said, You look incredibly sexy right now. She blushed, people laughed, and someone asked me what did I do wrong. It was my weaksauce dad, separate post on that. The point is, I said that because I felt it and my wife knew that.
Was it socially acceptable? No, who does that? The answer, I don't care who does it, I wanted to so I did.
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
makes me quietly scared that if I am even a little bit kind, I will be devalued.
You should have this fear, it's well founded.
[–]amefeu1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
From the side bar material
V. Adhere to the golden ratio Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.
V. Adhere to the golden ratio
Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.
[–]_yaaay_ 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being nice by its own has no reason.
Rewarding good behavior is context dependent and has reason.
[–]DforDeadpool0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As testosteronie said, reward her. But if it's really hard for you to be nice, mix it with being an ass. After she cleans your apartment, you can say "Thanks!" and give her a peck on the cheek (or lips). Only to slap her ass after. Mix it.
[–]TheMGhandi-2 points-1 points0 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you're terrified of being too mean, it's proof of how strong our conditioning is.
You should post this on asktrp.
[–]Foctopus 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you got OP's post backwards
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[–]testosteronie 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kteara 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TrainingTheBrain 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]russo3920 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TrainingTheBrain 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]amefeu1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_yaaay_ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DforDeadpool0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheMGhandi-2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Foctopus 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link