Here are some things I learned from my relationship with an active TRP user, and how the tips on this subreddit influenced how it all went down.

THE_StrongBoy · 2017-08-09T22:59:29+00:00

Lol this is gonna go over like bacon in a mosque

Edit: why delete? I was getting comfy for some top quality entertainment

whatsthisgarg · 2017-08-09T23:13:03+00:00

So why did I take the time to write all this out? I just wanted to show you guys of an example where a VERY VERY handsome+fit (which this thread seems to value), cool, confident, smart, creative, intuitive, sexually talented, amazing guy took your tips—and how it all went down. It might get hate, I’m not sure. But here’s the thing; I see the struggle in being a man. Theres an image and persona presented to you guys at birth, forcing you into this idea of what it means to be “masculine.” And when I look at “D,” this person I love and respect so much, I see this struggle. Maybe you guys will read this and be like, woah, he’s an asshole. But he’s not. He’s a boy—yeah, boy—who had to grow up fast, with shitty male role models, no example of a good relationship, a struggling mother, unaddressed and stigmatized mental health issues, no room for sexual questioning, social anxiety, and most importantly; this pressure of masculinity. Remember in fight club when they see that picture of like a guy with a 6 pack in an ad and Tyler’s like “is that what a man is supposed to be?” Dude its not! That’s how I feel. I personally think this idea of manhood is a social construct, I don’t really think there should be rules, but I guess thats not the society we live in. Hopefully it’ll change. “D” doesn’t need to fit some kind of persona of Alpha Male for me to love him—I just want to see transparency and enjoy each other. I see so much insecurity in this subreddit, not in a way where I feel unattracted to any man who might be an active user, but in a way where I’m gaining a perspective on a struggle I’ll never experience. I’m beautiful, I get free stuff, I get paid just to wear bathing suits on instagram—that IS privilege. At the same time—I’ve been raped, groped in public, objectified at 13, told to forget about my aspirations and marry rich because I wasn’t good at biology but luckily I’m cute. Yet, I see the struggle in the modern male plight no doubt. So I wrote this out to kinda share my experience with what worked and what didn’t. If the tips on this subreddit help your confidence, more power to you. But I really don’t love “D” because he did this shit, a lot of which didn’t work, but more because of who he is as his authentic self when you get past this front he puts up.

Did you have fun with your creative writing project?

This shit was written by a man. Or I should say, a boy.

ChampOfTheFuture · 2017-08-09T23:26:30+00:00

TLDR; here are some tips you guys have shared, and how they worked/didn’t work on me. You got this.

Since your post was very patronising, I'll allow myself to be blunt: Ending up in an LTR with a single mother who is 3 years older than him and who has multiple kids at 22, isn't exactly "the tips working". It's quite the opposite.

MattyAnon · 2017-08-09T23:33:13+00:00

I figured out a lot of my current boyfriend’s approach was from this thread

Speculated you mean.

from my pov

Ok, I'm sitting tight for a shitload of hamstering.

. I assumed we weren’t monogamous because of his standoffish attitude and shitty texting habits.

Ahhh this is a great tip, thanks!

I once saw a page that said “approach one cute female daily.” I don’t have a problem with this.

We're glad you don't have a problem with this, because we... wait for it.... do not give a flying fuck if you have a problem with this. We do not need your approval. I have no idea why women think they can come here and expect to throw us some approval like we care.

The divide between men and women was very black and white for him

Good. Men and women are different. Glad that "D" understands this.

or “you put yourself in that situation” (when talking about how I was raped in the past).

I don't know the details of what you told him - but most women massively exaggerate their rape stories. Can't speak for yours, but most rape stories are huge exaggerations designed to elicit sympathy rather than convey true. Not all, but the majority. He's picked that up from somewhere and statistically he is correct that the majority of so-called rapes were consensual sex that the girl lies about later. However rapes do happen, and we can't forget that. Whether he's right or you I can't speak of, but you need to know that men are not always wrong for being critical of female rape stories. In fact they're factually correct to be critical the majority of the time.

But here’s the thing; I see the struggle in being a man.

hahaha no you don't, you don't have a CLUE. You think because you read a little of TRP and listen one guy that you have any idea of what we face. You don't. You simply can't. It's impossible for you.

He’s a boy—yeah, boy

Whereas you, with all your judgments and entitlement and privilege are a fully grown and mature adult??

Quit being so patronising. We reject your judgement about him being a boy. He's an adult and should be respected as such.

I personally think this idea of manhood is a social construct,

Well, if YOU personally think this, it simply must be true. Obviously I am being sarcastic.

“D” doesn’t need to fit some kind of persona of Alpha Male for me to love him—I just want to see transparency and enjoy each other

You do not love him, you are incapable of love in the sense in which you mean it. It's a convenient social pretence that you engage in to further your goals. It's not true in any meaningful sense. Your feelings for him are permanently conditional, you will change your mind on a dime if something better comes along, and if/when the relationship ends you'll engage in some extremely shitty behaviours that prove that you loved the relationship, but care nothing for the man.

I’m beautiful, I get free stuff, I get paid just to wear bathing suits on instagram—that IS privilege. At the same time—I’ve been raped, groped in public, objectified at 13, told to forget about my aspirations and marry rich because I wasn’t good at biology but luckily I’m cute.

Raped - well maybe, but we don't believe it entirely on your say-so. We've heard too much crying wolf to sympathise with this. EVERY woman has a rape story, and most of them end with "well... yeah... I guess it wasn't rape". Maybe yours was. But not just because you say so.

Objectified - well this is ridiculous, everyone has social expectations thrust on them, men too (different ones, but objectifications all the same).

Told to marry rich because you suck at biology? Objectified? This is ridiculous - EVERYONE gets insulted, objectified, told to do things, told what they are and what they are not. You are jumping on the female-victimisation bandwagon of "anyone I don't like commenting on my body is sexual assault". But reality is EVERYONE has had an imperfect life, EVERYONE has had downsides.

I have been assaulted, insulted, fired, threatened, belittled, objectified and by the silly modern standards of rape I've been raped. What you don't see u/Squidbat you silly girl is that EVERYONE has had these things happen to them. EVERYONE has a sob story, EVERYONE has had shit happen to them. You can't use this to offset your insanely high female privilege as if it somehow balances out. Male lives are much much harder than yours. You have no clue.

TLDR; here are some tips you guys have shared, and how they worked/didn’t work on me. You got this.

We know what works, and we know from our results not because you see fit to tell us.

mark2262 · 2017-08-09T23:10:54+00:00

These field reports are getting harder and harder to believe

TinFoilHatBoi · 2017-08-09T23:27:42+00:00

Moral of the story: He shouldn't have pursued a LTR in the first place. Cycle plates.

XpeedMclaren · 2017-08-10T00:06:12+00:00

Dude.. just what the hell was that?

push_pass · 2017-08-10T01:56:40+00:00

Great post, I already commented that, but came back just to add how exactly it resonated with me. Reminds me of Bukowski's words about the late William Wantling.

Style means no shield at all. Style means no front at all. Style means ultimate naturalness. Style means one men alone with billions of men about.

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