How To Close: Tinder Edition

Summary: A lot of new subscribers don't get the various ingredients that go into a solid Tinder approach. Here's my own take on closing a Tinder date.

Introduction:

I got my start from TRP Tinder Lord and Savior OmLaLa.

Here's an example of one I just pulled off. You'll see I don't always adhere to the rules, but I always keep them in mind.

Body:

After taking OmLaLa's lessons and tips to heart and after practicing Tinder game for months, I've found a few key factors that you ALWAYS need to strive for when chatting up a Tinderella.

DO:

• Professional Photos: Go on craigslist or grab a friend with a nice camera. Get 2 outfits: formal-wear and tasteful night out. Get a fresh cut out the salon and take lots of photos of you next to cool architecture or out in nature. Put some of the best ones on Tinder, along with pics of you hanging out with friends or attractive girls.

• Always Aim for Tingles: Remember the main goal: ALWAYS try to get a physiological response from women--preferably of the dripping kind and not repulsion. Tinder is for building anticipation, not comfort. Don't fall into the "nice guy" trap or the "friend" trap. When in doubt, err on brazen and inappropriate.

• Humor: Every response you get is an opportunity to make her laugh. While it's not always appropriate or opportune, engage your creative side to change the tempo of the conversation to surprise and delight. Humor energizes conversations and lightens the mood when she asks dumb questions.

• Poor Punctuation: While I don't always have crappy punctuation, leaving some sentences without is a great way to show a carefree and abundant mentality. It also shows that you're not uptight or trying too hard. Even an English major can break the habit!

• Keep it (Moderately) Short: There's a sweet spot for conversation length. If it's too short, she usually has no skin in the game and you come off as cold or player. Too long, and interest is lost. Make sure you build a "foundation" of sorts before you escalate to asking the big "date" question.

• Command the Date Options: Power dynamics are very important here. Give her an A or B option of what to do and what time to meet. This allows her some vestige of control over the date while leaving the decision-making up to you. Men lead and women follow. You're the captain to her first mate.

• Stop! Wait a Minute: Before you send out a text, double-check whether it meets all the criteria. Are you maintaining frame? Keeping it light and funny? Being dominant and direct? Since text is all you got besides pictures, you got to make every character count.

DON'T:

• Pursue a Lost Cause: Tinder is a number's game. You will have conversations fizzle out even after a flawless execution. Girls use Tinder as ego-fuel, causing "platinum vagina" syndrome. I had a girl even brag about owning her own house at 22. It's a validation machine. Understand the game and move on when a conversation goes cold.
• Take It Personal: Tinder is frustrating, but you're a zen master. Never, ever! lash out at a girl for being a vapid cunt. No matter how you feel or think, you're above it all. The anonymity of Tinder is not the time for a cathartic burst of righteous misogynist anger.
• Compliment Her: If a girl's hot, she knows it. Conversely, if a girl's not hot, don't feed her falsely bloated ego. Unfortunately, hordes of thirsty betas bolster women's self-esteem on the daily through social media so much to the point that even a whale thinks she's a catch. YOU are the prize, not her. Start acting like it.

• Ask Serious Questions: Nothing kills tingles and fun faster than asking about her job, where she lives, her family, or any other banal elevator questions you ask because you have nothing better to say. Women look to tinder for escape, not to chat with random thirsty dudes about their lives.

• Set Dates Too Far In Advance: It's tough to maintain excitement and tingles for more than two to three days out from a date after post-Tinder-close radio silence. Continuous texting to keep up the energy is usually a no-no. Setting a date a week in advance greatly increases the chance of a no-show.

ADVANCED TACTICS:

• Securing a Number: After you secure a date location, time, and day, it's commonly accepted to ask for her number and move off of Tinder. Usually I don't text over SMS until after a successful first date, but there are exceptions depending on whether she chats you up before the date or further logistical planning is required.
• Baking: Some report success waiting between 20 minutes to 24 hours before responding to girls. This works best after securing her number and actually texting over SMS. Baking is important with plates, but personally I don't bake before securing a number because my profile pics are so good that women don't give a fuck whether I respond immediately to her texts or not. Regardless, it's always good policy to wait before texting to show abundance.
• The Foe Date Checkup: One issue with Tinder dates is the time-honored question: will she show up? One way to check for attendance without acting like an insecure bitch is to say "Shit, I'm gonna be 30 mins late" on the day of the date. This won't always elicit a response, but it's a good strategy to simultaneously show abundance and ensure an appearance. As an aside, some strongly believe in always showing up without checking. If your date doesn't, you can practice cold approach at the bar.

Conclusion: Practice these tips and you'll have greater Tinder success! Go forth and bang.

BONUS: Red Pill Theme Song.